Baggage Claim
Baggage Claim is a space for blended families, marriage, and friendship.
Here, we dive into real-life conversations about the ups and downs of relationships, from navigating second marriages to unpacking the baggage we all bring. Hosted by Greg and Jessica, who both have rich experiences with love, loss, and family, this community is about sharing stories, learning together, and growing stronger as couples and individuals. Grab a drink and join us as we unpack, laugh, and claim our baggage—one conversation at a time
Baggage Claim
From Burned Furniture to Rebuilt Lives, How loss and healing reshaped our view of faith.
What happens when your faith gets shattered? How do you rebuild trust in something bigger than yourself when life deals devastating blows? This deeply personal episode reveals the spiritual journeys that have profoundly shaped our marriage and blended family.
Greg shares his transformation from substance abuse to ministry after a rock-bottom moment in a bar bathroom. His story includes unexpected miracles—like the time four catering vans mysteriously appeared with food after a simple prayer for homeless people in Atlanta. You'll hear how his faith was later tested through divorce despite "doing everything right" according to religious expectations, leading to broken windows, burned furniture, and ultimately, redemption.
Jess reveals a different path—raised in church by a devoted mother, her faith was strengthened through her daughter's miraculous healing from severe heart defects. Yet she too faced a devastating test when her first husband died unexpectedly, forcing her to redefine what "good" looks like in a world where prayers sometimes seem unanswered.
We explore how these experiences form the foundation of our relationship, highlighting our belief that healthy marriages require three essential components: personal health (emotional, mental, spiritual), a strong couple relationship, and family dynamics. As we share our stories without filters, we invite you to consider your own "true north"—what grounds you during life's inevitable storms?
Whether you're spiritually inclined or not, this conversation offers valuable perspective on finding anchor points that hold you steady when everything else falls apart. Because as we've learned through our journeys, everyone is either in a storm, just coming out of one, or about to enter one—and what matters most is how you weather it together.
Hey guys, what's up? I'm Greg. I hope you guys are ready to unpack and get into some good conversations today.
Speaker 2:And I'm Jess and this is our podcast Baggage Claim. Thank you for joining us. Hey everybody, welcome to Baggage Claim. I almost forgot the name of our podcast. I'm laughing because it's my turn to do the intro and I'm a nervous wreck and that's silly because we've done this. This is our 11th broadcast and I'm still a nervous wreck, but it's okay. So Baggage Claim is a podcast where we are sharing what makes us us, greg right.
Speaker 1:That's right. Just marriage in a blended family, not in a blended family, just life in general, all those fun things that entail in life.
Speaker 2:I'm feeling a little bit silly or giggly because there's 19 days left in the school year where we live and it's exhausting right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the kids are off the hook. They know they can smell it in the air.
Speaker 2:Oh, they know.
Speaker 1:They're like sharks they start circling, they smell the blood in the water and they're like summer's coming.
Speaker 2:And you know, several years ago I had the bright idea to do an ABC countdown to the last day of school. Still doing that this many years later. And today was H is for hat Hat day. You would think you just wear a little hat on your precious little noggin and we're just going to still do school. No, no, no. That is not In fact a few of the questions I asked my littles today. My little firsties, have you lost your mind? Okay, I also ask have we ever done that in the history of our first grade year together? A little question of a little precious silly goose. Gotcha.
Speaker 2:I can't even remember. There was a few that I told you about earlier, but I can't remember. So we're all running on fumes right now. Gotcha, I can't even remember. There was a few that I told you about earlier, but I can't remember. So we're all running on fumes right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can tell you had such a productive day. I hung out with Richard, my barber the coolest barber ever. Give me a cut.
Speaker 2:So yeah, and tomorrow we have a field trip.
Speaker 1:No good for you.
Speaker 2:And then in two days we have field day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, field trips just breed.
Speaker 2:Insanity? Yeah, it's just yeah, it's like. Yeah, so the fact that we as teachers especially firsties shout out to my team, expect for us to be able to have any kind of normalcy is just crazy when we have literally planned insanity for the last 26 days of school. There's 26 letters in the alphabet, if you don't know.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, but yeah, there's just a lot, so, anyway, Well, let's do it a little different tonight, because we've been saying, hey, we have these questions, we're going to read from our favorite book A Year and Us, and we don't ever do it at the end. So we said let's do our question at the beginning before to kick us off into what we're talking about.
Speaker 2:And I do have my trusty reading glasses this time for you. Thank you? It's like Greg said. It's from the book called A Year of Us. It's a couple's journal and it's by Alicia Munoz. We will reach out to her and we will have her here, or at least virtually. So the question is you ready?
Speaker 1:Yeah, a hundred percent Go.
Speaker 2:What song reminds you most of me and why? And you cannot use quote, unquote our song. Oh okay, our song is by Ray LaMontagne. It's called you Are the Best Thing. Right. And it's a wonderful song.
Speaker 1:It is, but. I'm not using it.
Speaker 2:That's what we when we got married we walked out of the church to that song.
Speaker 1:Right, I don't know who sings this song.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I don't even know if I know the title correctly. Okay and no, it's not ludicrous.
Speaker 2:Don't, just don't.
Speaker 1:It's ludicrous Be tasteful Okay. I'm sorry, golly Front porch, front porch.
Speaker 2:Porch swing angel.
Speaker 1:Porch swing angel, I knew that's what you were going to say. No, you did not. You just gave me a list of things I couldn't use.
Speaker 2:No, not a list. I just said well, okay, a list of ludicrous songs. You could not. Okay, well, it's true Anyway poor Swing Angel, I can't remember who it's by. I'm pretty sure it's Muscatine Bloodline, but I'm not sure.
Speaker 1:I was flipping a house in South Carolina and I was working by myself one night and I just had music blaring. I don't remember what I was doing, but I was just working by myself and that song came on, I just kind of stopped. Yeah, and I just remember sitting down I was like, yeah, that's—. The lyrics are really sweet, yeah, it is really cool because it just kind of speaks of— we have a port swing. We don't really have a front porch, we have a garage, so we— Carport, carport, old school carports built.
Speaker 2:Our house is old school, it it's a carport, and so I put it in the carport so it gets sweet.
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, you enclose it as a garage, it's a carport, it is a carport, yeah, okay, so that's mine. How about?
Speaker 2:yours, Mine is the Zac Brown song. You Make Lovin' you Easy.
Speaker 1:Aw Did you do.
Speaker 2:I thought it was going to be the pink pony thing. Oh you do. You don't know that and you would not probably accept that, but you do make loving you easy. It's easy to be married to you.
Speaker 1:Not always Be careful 95% of the time.
Speaker 1:Well, we're excited. Tonight's a little different for us. We've sat down and we've spent a lot, a lot of hours just trying to dissect our relationship, our marriage. What was the good, what was the bad, what was the things we would change? We believe that all really successful marriages, or good relationships, have three components. Yeah, these would be marriages because they I mean Healthy marriages, healthy ones. Yeah, the first part of that is the personal side of that. Your, these would be marriages because they I mean Healthy marriages Healthy ones.
Speaker 1:Yes, the first part of that is the personal side of that.
Speaker 2:Your personal health yeah. That's just not your physical health.
Speaker 1:Right, it's emotional, mental and spiritual.
Speaker 2:And spiritual.
Speaker 1:So those are all kind of like part of that, like your personality, who you are, how you process information, how you all those things are part of you Knowing you how you were, how you process information, how you all those things are part of you Knowing you how you were being emotional intelligence all that fun stuff.
Speaker 2:So that's number one.
Speaker 1:Number two is husband and wife as a couple, or a couple where you're at as a couple. You may be just together and going to get married, but you may be that couple. And then the third part is your family. Yeah, whatever that family looks like. So those are the three key parts.
Speaker 2:We've touched a lot on family health.
Speaker 1:Most everything we talk about will fall into those three categories everything we do. But tonight we're going to focus on the personal side and something that is peppered into our story, but we've never been like outright front with it. But we just want you to know our journey of how we got to where we are in life.
Speaker 2:And who we are as people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just who we are. And so, with that being said, tonight we're going to talk about our faith and our faith journey, of how we got to where we are and how it's helped us through.
Speaker 2:And this is not us forcing our faith on others. No, it's not us forcing our faith on others, no. But we just want to share that side of who we are because it's a big part of our foundation, before we even knew each other.
Speaker 1:Correct, yeah, yeah, so who's going first? Am I going first?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you go ahead and share.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to be really quick.
Speaker 2:It's okay if you're not quick, because your story matters too.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, that's so sweet.
Speaker 2:You matter. That's what my shirt says. If you're not watching us my shirt says you matter.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I grew up in a family incredible mom, dad was. I think I've shared some of that was kind of Not so great Right.
Speaker 1:Yes, we didn't grow up in church. We went to church on occasion. We weren't like regular attenders. It wasn't a huge part of our family life Still had a great family. My mom really cared for us, loved us, did what she could we just faith was not a huge part of our story. Right Just to. I never processed all the hurt, all the pain, all the things that I went through as a kid with my dad, so that trauma led to just drugs and alcohol, just to make a long story short.
Speaker 2:You were trying to band-aid it.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was trying to hide it and blame everyone else and become a victim and saying woe is me. My dad was this way and so I do this. I had already had a couple run-ins with the police before I got out of high school, and so that just tells you the trajectory I was on. I had some friends who always invited me to church. I just never went. They would go and I thought it was weird. They would have like a CD burnings or record burnings and this weird stuff, and I would go, dig out the really good CDs that they were trying to burn and take those home with me.
Speaker 1:So it was just like I didn't hate church. I didn't really. I just really didn't have a need for it. I didn't think I needed it in my life. Yeah, I could figure it out myself. Well, long story short, the drugs got heavier, alcohol became more, everything just progressed into something else and it got to a point to where I'm like I can't, I can't manage this anymore. And I'd had a friend who kept inviting me to church, invited me to church, invited me to church, and I would politely just tell him no every time he would and I never really said.
Speaker 2:And then but you were the nicest, not so great guy you were never mean.
Speaker 1:I was probably the nicest, was not-so-great guy. I really was.
Speaker 2:You were never mean, I was probably one of the nicest drug dealer, alcohol dealers that I've known.
Speaker 1:I was very kind, very nice guy.
Speaker 2:Right, yes.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I did— I just want to make sure you paint the picture correctly, because you've always been a like quote-unquote good guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wasn't mean. Yeah, and I have—I did do—I didn't deal heavy drugs, you know, just like pot and simple things.
Speaker 2:Okay, I wasn't that far into that scene. I didn't mean for you to have to share that Okay. I was just saying I didn't want you to paint the picture that you were a really like bad guy.
Speaker 1:All through my life I'd always said I don't want to be like my dad. I don't want to be like my dad, I don't want to be this way. And I had this awakening moment where, literally I was. I had dropped some of my drugs it was the white powder kind behind a toilet in a little volume, and I reached down. I remember reaching down and I'm on my hands and knees in this nasty toilet in this bar trying to get a substance and I was like this is my reality, this is who I am. I remember getting up from that and calling friends. I was like what time is church in the morning? He's like oh, it's this time. I was like cool, I'll be there. And this was at Chestnut Mountain Church. I went and I remember the guy. I don't remember a whole lot of what he said, but he was preaching this message.
Speaker 2:And I went down front.
Speaker 1:Like at you is one of those moments. Yeah, I was like dude. This dude's talking to me like nobody else is here. I remember going down front and I wasn't I mean, I didn't grow up in church, so I wasn't churched at all and I was like dude, if what you're saying is real and this is real.
Speaker 1:What do I need to do? Because this is all I got. I've trashed everything I have. This is what I got and I remember praying and he got up and he goes, okay, and I was like that's it. And he goes, yeah, and he goes, chase after him now, chase after God. And I was like, done, you can do that. And so it was a very, very Southern Baptist church. The next day they literally are like, hey, we go, all people who are visiting, you get these cards and we split up and you get to go with a deacon or an elder.
Speaker 2:I still can't believe that you were the very next day to visitation.
Speaker 1:I did. He said chase after him. So I was like I'm going to go. If the church was open, I'm going to go, show up and do whatever it is they're doing. I never visited anybody at church. I didn't even know what to say.
Speaker 2:Like they were going out to share the gospel. You didn't know where you were going for sure. I had no idea, you just showed up.
Speaker 1:You show up and they give you these cards. And I was with a guy.
Speaker 2:I remember we were there and I was like and so it was Monday night visitation yes, and most of the time you would take your guest visitor card and you would go visit those guests that just visited your church that day. Yeah, and so that's what you were doing.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was on that visitation train and, just so you know it's not highly public, there was like maybe six people there and I was one of the six. Yeah, so we had two cards.
Speaker 2:It's a small crowd for a Monday night visitation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not a big crowd gatherer. So I remember going and we knocked on these two people's door and they weren't there and I was like, well, what do we do now? And he goes well, we're just done. I was like, bro, no.
Speaker 2:No, we're not.
Speaker 1:I was like, okay, these are friends of mine, and I was like they may dabble in the drug scene, but I was like they're home and they're really nice people.
Speaker 2:I'm proud of you for giving them like a heads up, but they had no idea.
Speaker 1:No, they had no idea. So we go in and we knock on the door and they're like Greg, what's up? This is the next day, it was just the day before and I was like, hey man, what's up, this is my buddy I literally had just met I can't remember who it was and I remember we're sitting on the couch and the guy's rolling up a joint, he's smoking it, about to smoke it, and I was like, hey, bro, tell him what I heard yesterday at church.
Speaker 2:Your Southern Baptist counterpart.
Speaker 1:I was like tell him the story you told me. And he's looking at me like tell him what I was, like tell him what the preacher said, like I had no idea what was going on, yeah, and so it was just one of those kind of he's like okay, you were so excited right, I was I was like bro, you have to hear what I heard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and some of my buddies were buddy's houses that night and I think it was probably the most exciting visitation this guy had ever had. He's just like what have I gotten into?
Speaker 2:Yeah, who is this, greg guy?
Speaker 1:So from that launched into my. If the church was open, I was there. I went and bought a Bible the next day, and then I showed up at this Christian bookstore back when Amazon wasn't around. And so I went to the Christian bookstore and they had the CDs lined up as the number one seller all the way to the bottom.
Speaker 2:Was the one that used to be in our town. Yes, in Gainesville.
Speaker 1:And so I walk in and I'm a. I was a Metallica Pearl Jam Sound Garden. That was my jam, you're kind of grungy. Yeah, I love that music. So I went up and I was like I'm going to buy the number one CD in this Christian bookstore and listen to it and you got the Gaither Vocal. Band Gaither.
Speaker 1:Vocal Band. I don't know if you've heard them, but you should just Google Gaither Vocal Band and listen to it. And I was a Pearl Jam like Nirvana, like grunge, nirvana like grunge, like I liked hard rock. And I was like man. If this is Christian music, okay, I don't want it. I was like this is going to be tough. But I remember I went and sat down and I just started reading my Bible and I read I think in the first month I read it.
Speaker 2:I bet you were so happy when, like DC Talk and Potters of Clay, those guys came out. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Potters of Clay. All those guys were like, yes, please, was it POD? One of those guys were out to, so it was like so I had no idea and no one was really like me in the church. And so there was like hey, there's this mission trip, we're going on a mission trip. And I was like, dude, I'm down for that, what do we do? And he's like you were all about adventure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like we're just going out of the country. We're going to go share, share. You know a faith, what we did. We're going to preach and I was like preach. He's like, yeah, you stand up and we just telling people about God and I was like I'm in, I'm done.
Speaker 2:I was like I got to get permission for my probation officer first.
Speaker 1:So I had to get my probation into Romania. It was my first time on a plane, First time out of the country, Flew to Romania and then stayed in Romania for a couple days and we went into Ukraine and I was in Ukraine for about a week and I actually I mean I had been a Christian literally maybe 15 minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like just a few months, and I remember the guy, he was the worship leader. It was Black Sheep Place, it's Thomas Christ Place now. He gave me the microphone. He goes I feel like God's telling me to share, just get up and share. And I was like yes, sir, and I grabbed the mic, stood up and I just started talking and we did that for a week.
Speaker 1:We would do that two or three times a day for a solid week, and I remember coming back I was sitting in a hotel room on the ledge and there was a lot of military unrest in Romania at that time. This was a long time ago folks, and you were on the balcony.
Speaker 1:I remember sitting out on the balcony and I was just sitting there and I could see the tanks just rolling around and I could hear as clearly as day God saying he was calling me. He's like. Your life now is about serving others and that was so clear to me. I didn't know what that looked like. I didn't know what that meant.
Speaker 2:So when I got back I was like you didn't realize that was like an actual call to ministry at that point.
Speaker 1:No, I was just like I don't know, I don't know the church words to say I was like dude.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to serve people, I'm going to love on people. And so I got back and I was just like, okay, I'm in and I started reading. I think my first year I read through the Bible, cover to cover, like four times. It was just like sponge, just give me everything you got. I had a buddy of mine who I met through some of the students there a little later in college and we started going and doing street witnessing in Atlanta and so we would go every Friday night. They would do a homeless ministry and they would feed people. At the corner of Lucky and Springer there's a church it was North Metro, I think. It was set up and they would grill hot dogs for homeless people. And so we went and did that. We're like you know what? We're going to go meet these homeless people where they're at and just talk to them.
Speaker 2:You're leading up to one of my favorite stories of your whole Christian walk.
Speaker 1:So we went to our college. We were at college I don't know why they let me in college they asked me to leave after a little bit. Anyway, a story for a different day, that's a different story. But when you go to college they would give you these care packages. It had toothpaste, toothbrush, all the shaving stuff. So I went and asked the people. I was like what do you do with all the leftovers? And they was like well, we just give them away. And I was like, well, we're doing homeless ministry, can I have them? She goes, yes.
Speaker 1:So a buddy of mine, shane, and I, a buddy of ours, we had boxes and boxes and I mean like hundreds of these things. So we broke them down and we started making little care packages and we would go to Atlanta and we would hand these things out. And we saw this need. We're like, dude, nobody comes down here and really cares for these people. So it's like you know what we're going to do. We're going to feed all these people on Thanksgiving. So we're going to come down here on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Day, but that area now is what?
Speaker 1:It is now Olympic Park. It's now. They mowed it all down. It was Techwood at the time.
Speaker 2:It was awful. Well, I say awful it was dangerous.
Speaker 1:It was a very dangerous town. Like cops would see us and be like, hey, what are y'all doing? Why are you here? And we're like we're just giving stuff to homeless people Talking. He's like, don't call me if that stuff goes sideways. Like you don't need to be here. We've got that all the time. Walked into so many drug deals I can't count on one hand Encountered some demon-possessed people, weird.
Speaker 2:Weird, weird but anyway, always referred to as your fishes and loaves story.
Speaker 1:So we were feeding. We were going to feed people on Thanksgiving, so we had a buddy of ours, Todd Robinson, which I love dearly, has like we're like, dude, we're getting a grill, we want to feed people. He goes, man, I got some chicken and hot dogs. He owns a food.
Speaker 2:That's what he sounds like.
Speaker 1:Awesome dude, best dude. I love this guy. Do anything in the world for him. Good old country boy, very talented musician, by the way.
Speaker 1:But, anyway, he gave us tons of these hot dogs and chicken. We just pulled the grill down to the back of our truck and we just had all these signs. We're like we're just going to start handing out food to anybody who wants to show up. So we pulled up in an empty parking lot. This is how planned. We were Pulled up in an empty parking lot, got food here. Well, all of a sudden, there's hundreds upon hundreds and hundreds of people there and we're like, uh, we're gonna run out of food and so we're all sitting around. You know, it's like, what are we doing? We're like, I don't know, you want to be religious and be like, well, let's pray, let's pray about it. And I was like, okay, so we all get in this circle and we're like I mean, it was one of those simple prayers, like, okay, god wasn't very churchy. We're like I mean, it was one of those simple prayers, like okay, god it wasn't very churchy.
Speaker 1:We're here feeding homeless people and we're about to run out of food. We need food. We need food to get these people. Amen, that was about it. As soon as that prayer finished, these four white vans, like catering vans, come pulling up and the guy I think it was Shane or somebody come and we go over and he's like hey, man, we had a big party plan, party canceled. We got all this food. We saw you guys feeding people. Do you need this food? It's one of those moments you're just like you can't not get emotional about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're just like whoa.
Speaker 1:It's one of those moments in life where you're like there's something so much bigger.
Speaker 2:And who am I to be a part of that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like you heard that, like somebody heard that. Um, but it was just, it was crazy. Those times made me kind of go oh okay, god, whatever, whatever you leave, wherever you open a door, I'm going to run through that which led to which is crazy enough which led to me becoming an ordained minister at that church. I worked at that church for seven, eight years. Did everything from student ministry to college ministry to loved it, had a blast, was awesome. Left that did a job with my buddy. Then wound up with another job at Truffle and Church.
Speaker 2:After we got married.
Speaker 1:Yes, doing, I didn't and I did all their small groups. They were expanding from four campuses eight campuses. They needed some help facilitating that, building small groups and curriculum and all that.
Speaker 2:So I did that. You had a hand in hiring the campus pastors too.
Speaker 1:A few of the campus pastors, which are amazing guys. Love you, trey, anyway, it's a—. And Paul yeah, I didn't hire Paul, no, but anyway it was— we still love you A little bit. So I worked there for about four and a half years, so four or five years, I can't remember exactly.
Speaker 2:I think it was five.
Speaker 1:Then left there and then wound up at River Bend as an executive pastor position there. What's crazy is I never, ever, applied for any of those church jobs From the beginning. Yeah, I never went hunting for one of them. I never submitted a resume. I never submitted anything other than just saying those doors will open for me, and it was just a reminder that a guy can do whatever he wants.
Speaker 2:He sure can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's my faith journey that's led me to here. I'm not your normal Christian. That's what people would see as a Southern Baptist Christian. I think I'm pretty normal. I mean I have a lot of tattoos, but they all tell my faith story.
Speaker 2:I mean, I do too and mine also tell my story.
Speaker 1:I like to drink a little bit. I have a drink every now and then and you know it's like, but I'm in the Southern Baptist world or in the Southern culture. People are like, oh my gosh, but it's like. No, I love Jesus, I love people and I want to serve them and serve Him. And so it looks a little different for other people, but that's okay, you don't have to fit into the mold that I think you have to fit into.
Speaker 2:And that's okay.
Speaker 1:But anyway, that's my journey.
Speaker 2:My faith journey looks a lot different. And that's okay.
Speaker 2:I did grow up in church. I did have a mama that took me to church and a grandmother that made sure I was there, and my dad didn't go to church with me and us until I was older. That's his story to tell in his journey. But till I was I mean literally until I was 20, he supported us being there. He was not against it, and now he's there every time the doors are open. But my mom always made sure that I was in church and then later, when my brother was born, my brother was there as well. I became a Christian when I was 12. And for me, at such a young age, having grown up there, it was not this. Now it is a life altering moment, don't take me wrong. But it was not this big light bulb moment because I had already learned everything, because that's where I grew up and that's just what I knew, but when? That's the age that I realized, oh, but it is for me.
Speaker 2:So, being young and I was always involved in church and at youth and helping at Bible school. I went to one of those. You did.
Speaker 1:I used to go to Bible schools. No-transcript. You did? I used to go to Bible schools. My mom would take me to those.
Speaker 2:I was singing in the youth choir and then all the time in church. That did lead to my first marriage, but when I started dating TJ in high school I was like one of the things you have to do if you date me you have to go to church.
Speaker 1:Now, he wasn't a church goer at the time. No, no.
Speaker 2:He was kind of like you, like that he would go to Bible school or whatever, we had a lot of same friends. You did have a lot of same friends, yeah. So when we got married right around that same time is when he was called to ministry because he had just gotten so head over heels in love with serving at church and God called him to ministry. A little bit similar path too with youth pastor and helping with college and career and y'all kind of ran the same circle as youth pastors.
Speaker 1:It's interesting because I met him at a couple of youth things and and we had a roundtable thing you did, but I didn't know him personally. No, I just met him, but I never met you. I didn't know you at all, no, so that's kind of strange, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then I've always kind of laughed at like I've been married to two pastors. It's like, do I attract pastors? I don't know. But I'm okay with that. But as far as like I don't have like a fishes and loaves story in my faith like you do. But you know, that's a very real God moment for you and a very real God moment for me was after Erin Grace was born. She was born premature. She was about six weeks premature and we found out when she was about two weeks old that she had congestive heart failure and she was a very, very sick baby. You already know all this, but she was a very sick baby.
Speaker 1:These folks don't.
Speaker 2:Our friends, don't? My teeny, tiny baby had two holes in the top part of her heart and one gigantic hole in the bottom of her heart. So basically her oxygenated blood was almost not oxygenated where it should be and where it goes to the other chambers where it's supposed to exchange oxygen. It just did not. And then her little liver was working overtime trying to pump all that fluid out. But again, she was two weeks old before we found out at her literal two-week checkup. So anyway, she was a very sick little one and she was on a lot of medications and we were at the doctor all the time, cardiologists and specialists, and we were at two different cardiologists just to make sure, and it's just a whole long story, yeah, anyway, so us and the whole church, our family, friends, everybody was praying for her healing. And then, but TJ and I had decided, like, of course we're going to pray for her healing because that's obviously what we want for her. But then we were also praying of you know, if you choose not to heal her, then give us the strength to give her the care that she needs, because her all of the doctors told us that you know, we won't know what kind of quality of life she'll have till she's five. So it was a lot to handle when we had a two and a half year old Thomas. Wild man, all boy already, just like wild. Thank God for all the grandparents and great grandparents that were around, because, whoa, I'm trying to go to the doctor with Erin Grace literally every week. Anyway, so Fast forward about 18 months later, after we've been the doctor over and over again, we were preparing at 18 months for her first open heart surgery.
Speaker 2:That was to take place right before she was two, and there was a first time. Tj had not gone with me to one of her cardiology appointments. He had some kind of meeting he couldn't get out of, and so I went and blessed her little teeny heart. She was so accustomed to it. She'd either take a bottle while she was having her EKG done and the echo done or, as she got a little bit older, I would give her sugar-free dum-dums. And so she was sitting there. At that point it was her sucker and she was just slobbery sugary. But she was just sitting there taking all the tests and all. Well, it was faster than normal and I was like, okay, that's just the same, whatever.
Speaker 2:So let's make a plan and the tech that was in there was a gentleman that had done most of her testing and he was like I'm going to go get Dr Carpenter. This is Lady Jillian Carpenter. She was amazing, dr Carpenter. He said I'm going to go get her, I'll be right back, you can go ahead and dress Erin. I was like okay. And so Dr Carpenter said meet me in my office. And I was like, oh boy, okay.
Speaker 2:So I cleaned Erin Gracie and we were going to her office and Dr Carpenter said so I want to show you some new pictures. And I was like, okay, and I had already learned what Erin's heart heart looked like. And she said I want to show you here, here and here. And she circled the three places where her little holes not little, her gigantic holes had been and she said they're gone. And she said and I don't, I'm going to get emotional. She said I don't know how to explain it and I was like, but I do, yeah. And so that probably was my first like faith crisis of is God who he says he is, and is he the healer that he says he is? And I know that he is. And so it was fascinating and just like whoa, you know all. At the same time I'm holding this tiny little baby. That's so sickly. But then I'm like oh, wait a minute, okay, here we go. And that just turned everything around Right. So that was a huge portion of my faith journey, until later on.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I mean, I don't want to say like, oh, okay, so you had a moment of crisis, Like what happened when you really pushed. But you, I mean that's a huge push.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a huge push, especially in your faith.
Speaker 1:So for you I would say how did you handle when TJ passed away? What did that do to your faith journey? What happened there?
Speaker 2:It was kind of interesting because now that I've shared that, I really did reflect back on that of of aaron grace's experience because I was like, okay, I was literally told this baby might die right, and I'm not going to know, like if you're, if you're told you're, where we are collectively, we are not going to know what kind of quality of life this child is going to have until she's five.
Speaker 2:But in mine and TJ's life and our family, our church family, it was like, but God, I mean honestly so but sometimes our prayers don't get answered exactly, and that's a handful of episodes ago, when I referred to that verse that was etched on that little rock thing that I did find if you've been listening all along where it was, you know all things work for good for those who love God. I kept going back to that verse and after TJ died, I was just like, what possible good is there in this? There's not any for me, there's not any for my kids. Like, what are people supposed to learn from this Me? Like, what are we supposed to learn? So through counseling?
Speaker 2:A Christian-based counselor was what I chose for me, because that's what spoke to the core of who I am, because that's what spoke to the core of who I am, helped me to learn. Number one it's okay to be, excuse me, but it's okay to be pissed off about what happened. Right, 100%, like I have every right and God agreed with me. I had every right to be mad about what happened. But also, after months and months and months, okay, now what I had to choose for myself, what? What do I do with that anger? Do I choose to be bitter the rest of my life and live in that area, or do I choose to still be the kind of person I always have been and look for good. I couldn't find it for several months. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I just I couldn't, but I had to relearn how to look for what the definition of good even is. It didn't look like what I had pictured.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But I had to also be okay with that too. Yeah, what about you Now, all that, what I said of you know, when the crisis of a, you know, a crisis of faith have happened, what did that look for?
Speaker 1:you though like when you're, I mean yeah, your marriage fell apart yeah, well, I didn't handle mine quite as good as yours I didn't always seem like good, but I I tried um I I didn't want to have anything to a church. Yeah, I didn't want to have anything to do with church. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to have anything to do with God. I didn't want to listen to worship music I don't want to listen to. I don't have anything to do with it. I mean, if I'm honest, I even went through a time where I burned some furniture in my backyard, set fire to it and just burned it, and I had a buddy of mine set fire to it, just burned it.
Speaker 1:And I had a buddy of mine that I love dearly, corey Fabian, literally showed up and just sat with me for a day, almost a day and a half, sometimes two days, and would never say a word. He just would sit with me and I would just sit there sometimes and just cry, and sometimes he would just put his arm around me and we would just sit there together, which was huge. He didn't have to say anything. But I was mad. I busted the front window out of my truck. I punched it one morning. I was mad. So to say, I didn't handle my—I was angry. I was just mad because I was like I thought I've done everything the way that I was told the church told me what to do.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what I was about to say. Yeah, although I mean the scenarios are different, but you and I both and we've talked about this over and over again we both were doing all the quote unquote right things in our separate ministries. Well, what? The ways we were living our lives separately of we're doing all the things that we're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1:Well, right, considering what, the church being the building you go to sometimes. Yeah, I believe the church is the people, is us, is you, I believe it resides within us, but it's the idea for me is like I was doing all those things you told me to do. I did those.
Speaker 2:We were tithing, we were serving, we were living our life the way, and I was like I was doing all those things you told me to do.
Speaker 1:I did those we were tithing, we were serving, we were living our life the way, and I was like this is what happens. So I was just mad and I always kept referring to because I just felt like I was like, okay, god's left me, like he just left and I'm done with this. And that was when that moment of and I've shared this earlier, I think when I was just after I punched my window out, burned furniture, I was drinking a little too much, and I realized at least I had enough awareness to go. What I'm looking for is not found in this. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't make great decisions, just hear me. I was just trying to keep my head above water and I was burning bridges and messing up people. I was just, I was a hurt person and I was hurting people that were in my path, and that's what it was, and that was not pretty. But I remember that night laying in my in the floor in the bathroom, just sobbing, just, and it was that audible voice again, the same audible voice I heard in Romania Get up. Yeah, I was just like get up. And I got up.
Speaker 1:I remember sitting on the side of the tub in that house and he's like OK, are you done? And I was like, well, crap, I guess. So, yeah, I guess, I am, I sure am. Yes, sir, all right, so I guess I am. And so it was that. But for me it was like as much as I cussed him every morning on the way to work, I was mad at him. I didn't want to have, I wouldn't read my Bible, I wasn't doing the things that God loved me anyway. And he still loved me, no matter what I did, and he loved me through the hurt and the pain. He didn't go anywhere, he was always there, and so it was.
Speaker 2:What's crazy to think about, though, this is as a Christian, for you and I, because we've talked about a little bit, just not on the podcast, but it's like that same God that saved you from the life you were already, you were trying your best to trash was the same God that was still loving you through that period of time. Was the same God that was still loving you through that period of time, and, for me to think back of, that's the same God that literally healed my daughter from death. Is the same God that allowed her dad to be, killed in an accident.
Speaker 1:Faith is not a neat package you put together.
Speaker 2:It's not pretty.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And when you go in somewhere, if somebody tells you, oh, this is going to be, all you got to do is pray this prayer. Everything's going to be fine. That's not the full truth. There's more to that. It's hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because sometimes you have to put the rubber to the road, or whatever phrase I'm trying to think of. Sometimes you have to be like no, I actually do believe this, and now I have to act like it, even though it hurts so bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so wherever you are, like, that's like this our unpacked section is going to look a little different tonight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, today or whatever it is, I don't even know Whatever time you want to say this.
Speaker 1:We knew that this episode would be a little different than others, could be a little heavy, it could be it is. But I want to share with you something, though like wherever you are at in life, if you're riding your car, drinking your coffee, wherever you're at, you're in one of three places You're in a storm, you just came out of a storm or you're about to go into a storm. Yeah, you're in one of those three places. It just reminds me of. I used to leave these backpacking trips out of Montreat College and this was the last day and we all had to come back into this. It was a seven-day trip, backpacking trip, and so we had to come back into we were coming back. It was the last night we had to spend.
Speaker 1:So we're looking for somewhere and we're on the side of Mount Mitchell and, if you don't know, it's a really big mountain outside of Asheville and weather blows in really, really quick, and so I left my group. I was like you guys, hang out here for a second. I'm going to go down the mountain, look for a place to camp. I'll be back to get you. I said, okay, cool, while I'm down there, I feel the wind picking up, I feel it getting cooler. I was like here comes a storm. I got to go, so I take off running back up this trail up to the mountain. I get up there and it is just dumping rain and it's lightning and you could feel the storm coming. I was like we're not in it. And they're like, hey, we all got these tarps and we set them up and they're all standing in this massive puddle of rain next to this massive, massive tree, the big tree, and I was like that's an awesome idea, but we don't need to be here right now.
Speaker 1:This is a big fat, no yeah we need to get out from under this tarp and we need to scatter out. And they're like why? And I was like so? If lightning hits, it doesn't hit all of us, it only hits one or two of us. And then the girls start freaking out and people start screaming and they're crying, and I was just. I remember this.
Speaker 2:I have to do a side note real fast. Okay. Because I didn't know anything about weather, much till.
Speaker 1:Oh, don't share this.
Speaker 2:At our previous house that we lived at, we had a pool and it was you and I and this was before my brother and his wife, corey and Brittany, had children, and all four of our kids were just maniacs all over the place and you were like, oh, it's about to storm. And that pool did have a beautiful view of the sky and we were like you're insane, the sun is still out. And he was like Greg whoo.
Speaker 1:I said, if there's one thing I know, it's weather patterns. And this, many years later. And you thought it was the most hilarious thing, brittany and I. But what did it do that day?
Speaker 2:It did. Thank you. But Brittany and I thought it was the funniest thing. Yeah, so every time.
Speaker 1:Now it's about to rain, they go.
Speaker 2:If there's, we thought it was it is true.
Speaker 1:Thank you for ruining my story.
Speaker 2:But it's true, you were correct. The moral of the story is that you were correct.
Speaker 1:So we're out and I have these people, these high school kids, lined up and I have them separated and I was like you get in lightning strike position and like what is that? I was like you put your knees together and you hunker down and I was like they're like why? I was like so if the lightning hits the ground, it goes up through one leg, goes to the knee and it goes out the other foot. I was like it won't hit your vital organs. That didn't help instill like safety in them and so they're crying and I was like don't worry, cpr is highly effective with lightning strikes and I'm certified, so we're all good. I would have been for the crying crew.
Speaker 1:It is dumping, I mean it's. I mean, when it lightens and it hits, like the ground shaking, it's that close, like we're high up on this mountain, it's just pounding us, yeah, and I keep, I keep walking up and down this line. I was like just hang in here because the storm's going to be gone in a minute. Just keep hanging in here because it's going to be gone in a minute. Like this storm's going to pass, it's going to pass. Did they believe you? No, they were screaming and crying and some of the guys were trying to act all cool and they're like, yeah, this is awesome and I'm like, but anyway, finally the storm did pass by, right, and we're all standing there soaking wet. And I was just like okay, let's grab our bags and head down to go camp.
Speaker 1:And you know there are a lot of trauma there that we didn't process or work through. But in life, that's literally where we're at. And it's true, some storms are just like oh, it just blows in just really quick, it's something simple, and some hang out for a while, some cause a lot of destruction, some just wreck your life, but no, so, with that being said, you're in one of those three places and what grounds you, though?
Speaker 1:I mean, that's the question for our friends yeah, I sort of say you're asking me, but I thought we're unpacking here, you okay?
Speaker 2:but to unpack.
Speaker 1:We're asking our friends what grounds you when you're in those storms yeah, like what's your, I think for me it it's almost the question of what's your true north, like what's guiding you. And there's two avenues.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean there may be some debate in that, but for us there's two avenues. Is it a faith-based avenue? Are you a Christian? Is that what grounds you as a couple it's not just individual Like, do you share the same faith as your partner? What happens if you don't? You know, do you support one another in your faith journey? Or, you know, even if you are a Christian, you may not have yet had a true. I don't say true. You may not have felt like you've had a test of your faith yet. Right.
Speaker 2:But at some point it will happen and a storm may come. You know what grounds you in that.
Speaker 1:Oh, they're coming, yeah. And so the idea is, even if you're not on that faith journey and you haven't been, I think that's the question to ask, like, what am I trusting in? What do I trust? What am I, like you say grounding? I'm like what am I anchoring myself to? What's my hope?
Speaker 2:I mean, that's the question for Christian and non-Christian.
Speaker 1:Right, of course. And when I say Christian, I don't mean someone who goes to church and sings songs and doesn't cuss or drink or hang out with people who do. That was always the phrase that everybody said and I was like I don't understand that, like I should be hanging out with those people, but anyway, that's a different podcast. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about something that's real life in relationship, in your life. You're pursuing, you're chasing, so it's not.
Speaker 2:If you don't have that, where do you turn when you face a storm? And that's not for you and I to answer. No, these are questions to think about your own self. You know, where do you find hope? Right. And you know what's holding you. And, like what you said, what is your true north?
Speaker 1:Right, because we don't. I mean we don't talk about our faith a lot on here, because I don't want people to, I don't.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to Bible beat people, no we're not going to shove our faith down your throat, but that's just a really big piece of who we are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it kind of keeps us centered and focused in our lives as we move forward, because marriage is hard and blended families are hard. It is, and so—.
Speaker 2:Lifing is hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, as you're asking yourselves those questions what's your true north? What's grounding you? What's your hope in man? Take some time and just sit down and ask those questions to each other. Just have some discussion around it.
Speaker 2:It's not easy discussions either.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I mean the first million times we've talked about these stories with each other, of what we've been through is. It was not easy. I mean now we know each other's stories inside and out, but as we went through and we figured out, OK, we're putting this together. I need to know where you're at as a person so that we can put this together as a couple, as a unit for our family.
Speaker 1:Gotcha yeah 100%.
Speaker 2:And our friends need to know how to do that too. They do If you have questions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you have questions, if you want to chat about it, you know how to catch us on all the socials. There's actually even a place, too, if you're listening to this, where you can actually tap in FAN and you can text in the podcast and we get those notifications.
Speaker 1:We'll be happy to set up, even like a FaceTime or Zoom, whatever you're comfortable with or, if you're near us to set up time to sit down, whatever it may be Like our goal, just so you guys know, our goal in Baggage Claim is to help people through marriage. That's it.
Speaker 2:And to be completely transparent as we do it.
Speaker 1:Yes, and sometimes that's not pretty and sometimes it is yeah. So thank you guys for joining in. Thank you for sharing our podcast. It's growing each week, but make sure to you know if you're listening on any one of our other channels. Make sure to like, subscribe, um and just join us.
Speaker 2:So thank you yeah. Love you guys.
