Baggage Claim
Baggage Claim is a space for blended families, marriage, and friendship.
Here, we dive into real-life conversations about the ups and downs of relationships, from navigating second marriages to unpacking the baggage we all bring. Hosted by Greg and Jessica, who both have rich experiences with love, loss, and family, this community is about sharing stories, learning together, and growing stronger as couples and individuals. Grab a drink and join us as we unpack, laugh, and claim our baggage—one conversation at a time
Baggage Claim
Every Moment Matters: How Being Present Creates Lasting Family Memories
Have you ever wondered how to make each child in a blended family feel uniquely valued? Sometimes the answer lies in being purposefully present in both big adventures and small everyday moments.
When Greg and I merged our families, we quickly realized that intentionality would be our lifeline. After a chance encounter at Target revealed how our daughter Callie felt about sharing "her time" with us, we knew we needed a better approach. This moment of clarity sparked what would become one of our most cherished family traditions – the "Sweet 16 Adventures."
For each child's sixteenth birthday, we dedicated three to four days to go anywhere in the continental US and do whatever they wanted. Callie's New York adventure during a historic snowstorm, Thomas's adrenaline-filled outdoor excursion in Asheville, Cody's skateboarding journey up the California coast, and Erin Grace's personalized NYC experience – each trip uniquely reflected that child's personality and interests.
But perhaps the most powerful parts of our story aren't the grand adventures but the small, consistent investments we made: "Girls' Days" getting manicures, "Boys' Days" fishing followed by eating at "places the girls would never go," and those in-between moments where we simply showed up. These seemingly ordinary times built extraordinary connections that our now-adult children still reference today.
The beauty of intentional parenting isn't in perfection but presence. As I recently heard, "Don't wish for happiness to come. Be happy where you're at." Whether you're managing a blended family or simply looking to deepen your connection with your children, start where you are, with what you have. We'd love to hear your stories of intentional moments with your children on our social media. What simple traditions have created lasting bonds in your family?
Hey guys, what's up? I'm Greg. I hope you guys are ready to unpack and get into some good conversations today.
Speaker 2:And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage Claim. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1:What's up everybody? Thank you so much for joining us on Baggage Claim Glad you guys are back, or maybe, if this is your first time here, thank you for joining us. Wherever you're at, whatever you're doing, I want to encourage you just to grab your favorite drink, whatever that may be. Maybe a sweet tea if you're in the South, Maybe a tea, Maybe a tea infused with something a little bit more if you've had a rough week. Whatever that is. Wherever you're at, whatever you're doing, if you're driving, if you're driving if you're somewhere else just proverbially, kind of just think of yourself.
Speaker 2:Pull up to the table.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just pull up to our table and just chill and hang out, because we're getting in today.
Speaker 2:If you're like me, we're in May.
Speaker 1:If you're like Jess, jess is on in-school mode so she's going to be probably off the chain the last the next couple weeks of recording.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to be but May's here, and if you're a teacher like me, we're in the game. Well, if you're an early grades education teacher like me K through 2, we're on the end game.
Speaker 1:You know what's interesting to me? Teachers get more pumped for this time of year than they do for Christmas.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like you guys are just trying to hold the wheels on we are and make it look like you're actually working. Sorry, teachers, I know you work all the time we are. I know you guys are really just killing it. We are. You're lining up those TV shows, those movies, to watch those camping days. I know you're lining those and that's okay. I'm okay with it.
Speaker 2:Number one you're omitting our Kindle book wish list.
Speaker 1:Who.
Speaker 2:The Kindle the wish list for our books that we want to read in the summer.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:Those of us who do that.
Speaker 1:I don't know when in the world you came up with that.
Speaker 2:You said you're lining up this and that and the other and we're kicking off and blah blah blah but.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. Well, you know.
Speaker 2:With that being said, I'm building my wish list on my Kindle.
Speaker 1:So what's your number one book?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what is your number one book? You said this I gotta ask now. I don't know that I have a number one book, but Come on.
Speaker 2:But there's an author I am reading because of one of my teammates, woo teammates Freda McFadden. She writes the most unhinged books that you think that you know what's happening, hinged books that you think that you know what's happening and then when you're in there it's like, oh, oh, oh, she switches point of view and then you're like, okay, I've got to figure it out. And then it switches again. You never know what. And also it wasn't even our teammate, it was our daughter, callie, and one of my teammates also reads. That reads her whole situation. Right, I'm sorry, if you can hear me clicking, it's me If you're watching a video.
Speaker 1:Jess is like an ADD mess right now. I'm fidgeting. She's like get that girl some Ritalin or something.
Speaker 2:I'm fidgeting so hard with the cap on my pen. I'm fidgeting so hard with the cap on my pen, but our daughter, callie, recommended this author. And then one of my teammates also reads this author. Her books just are a whole mind situation. You think you know what's going on and she tells it from the point of view of one character and then she switches and it's a whole other character and then it was like, okay, I feel like I know what's going on and then you don't. But the author is Freedom at Fadden and has nothing to do with anything ever we've ever talked about.
Speaker 1:But that's okay, At least you. I'm glad you enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Anywho, you were talking about teachers and at the end of the year, yes, wow, yeah, I was Wow the year.
Speaker 1:Yes, wow, yeah, I was Wow Bro, which room? And?
Speaker 2:the school system that I'm in, we've got 13 minus a day. We've got 12 days left of school and it's a lot.
Speaker 1:Well, we just spent a long weekend with our oldest child, Callie, and her husband. We got to spend a day with Charles in Pensacola, which is awesome. Just to go hang out down in Pensacola with them. The weather was amazing.
Speaker 2:But Callie teaches middle school.
Speaker 1:Yes, she's middle school. Her husband teaches high school.
Speaker 2:Yes, I teach elementary school, so there's the gap and I don't teach anything Me. Right Me, you probably teach me.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Not probably you. You teach me, but there's just so many stories, and even today, when I got home there, was a lot of stories.
Speaker 1:Don't share this. I'm not sharing. No, no, no, no, no, no, because there's special secrets for my classroom. Right.
Speaker 2:But it's just, it's a lot, even with six and seven year olds. I come home and I'm just like done Anyway, wow.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys for joining us. Just so you know, we are broadcasting from this incredible place of Thomas's old bedroom of our house. So I mean, this is high end stuff.
Speaker 2:If you tune in physically.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you're watching.
Speaker 2:Every time you've probably watched, I've got my hair slicked back in a ponytail. I've got some sort of oversized sweatshirt or oversized T-shirt.
Speaker 1:We really get dressed up for our podcast.
Speaker 2:It's a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we really go overboard with our outfits.
Speaker 2:So I have a t-shirt on, I've come home from the gym and then we cook supper.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we just grilled burgers and hung out with our producer, Michael Johnson, and so now we're just chilling. So just so you guys know we're doing life as we're talking about it With you. We're in the same mess with you. Jess will go to bed as soon as we're done because she's exhausted, tired 100%, and it's way past her bedtime, but anyway.
Speaker 2:It's my bedtime right now.
Speaker 1:It is your bedtime, so you're getting Jess an extra hour.
Speaker 2:You're welcome.
Speaker 1:Wow, I'm sorry, I'm telling you man.
Speaker 2:Tonight is a different episode. It's a preview of Summer. Jess, I'm telling you, man, tonight is a different episode.
Speaker 1:It's a preview of Summer Jazz. I'm sorry, so tonight we're going to talk about intentionality, so we share that a lot. On here. We talk about being intentional with each other. Discuss at Baggage Claim is intentional.
Speaker 2:So tell me, when you think of when I say intentional, what do you think about? Well, there's been a lot of intentional conversations. We've been intentional with one another. We've addressed that. Intentional conversations. We've been intentional with one another. We've addressed that. But one thing that we haven't talked about in depth a lot yet is being intentional with our time with the kids.
Speaker 1:No, I ask you, when I think of the word intentional, what do you think about? Like? Give me your definition Intentional.
Speaker 2:Intentional means making choices on purpose.
Speaker 1:Hmm, okay, gotcha Like off of design. There's a there. There's a design. There's a purpose. There's a. Uh, I hate to use the word intention when you're talking about intentional.
Speaker 2:You can't, you can't, you literally cannot. Yeah.
Speaker 1:When I would do that in high school they'd be like you can't use the word in the definition. But it was also the idea of planning something with a purpose and design to reach a certain goal or point.
Speaker 2:It's making a choice because you have an end goal. Okay, basically.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so wherever you're at in your relationship, this is where.
Speaker 2:I thought you were going to no, because your phone is the one that we're recording on.
Speaker 1:You are on it tonight, you are just wow. Here's my phone no we don't have to look up the actual definition of it.
Speaker 2:I feel like we pretty much do.
Speaker 1:Okay, then we are here, we are I said this is what we're at tonight.
Speaker 2:I said what my definition of intentional is.
Speaker 1:Okay, and so what? You want me to read this one.
Speaker 2:Because that's what we did in our planning meeting. I'm a teacher, so what we do in our planning meeting is what we do in real life.
Speaker 1:Wow, we're sticking to the plan. Okay. Intentional means done with purpose design or on purpose. Okay, intentional means done with purpose design or on purpose. It's simple and conscious effort to achieve specific outcome. Synonymous includes deliberate, willful and purposeful Okay.
Speaker 2:So are we good? Yeah, I'm good. Okay, One of the words that you said was simple.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Is being intentional, simple, in a blended family.
Speaker 1:In our experience, I think relationships, in essence, I think healthy relationships are simple, like the way to achieve them are okay. Not the way to achieve them is simple. The things you need to do to achieve a healthy relationship. They're simple steps.
Speaker 2:They should be yeah it's just there.
Speaker 1:It's when you add all the other things on top of it that make it complicated, yeah. It's when you add all the other things on top of it that make it complicated? Yeah, and it makes it. And then, just when you add layer upon layer upon layer, it just gets more. It's hard, yeah, but in the simplicity of it, and that's what we want to try to do is break things down to the most simple form and say, okay, let's start here and build off of that.
Speaker 2:Okay, no-transcript Right. But for me on my side, it felt kind of not easy, but it felt natural to be intentional when we decided to date.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Unpack that for me. What do you mean? When we started dating, it seemed intentional, seemed easy for you.
Speaker 2:In previous podcasts we talked about what we were looking for and then also what we didn't know we were looking for.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I actually understand what you're saying when you talk about intentionality. When we first got together, being intentional with mine and your time together was kind of natural With our time. Like you were a single mom, I was a single dad. Being intentional with what we did with them was kind of natural for us. But when we combined all that together it's a different story. So we had to take it up to a different level with that intentional?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so, to reflect what you said, you and I, when we decided to get together, it was easy to make sure that you and I were intentional about talking and spending time together. Then, when we were together as a whole family, all six of us, that was obviously easy to do. It was like we were being very intentional.
Speaker 1:Well, it was intentional for you and I. I think the intentionality for, like, when our family was together. We had Callie and Cody for seven days. Yes, they were with their mom for seven days, and then Aaron and Thomas were with us all the time. Yes, so it was kind of like we had to be intentional when Callie and Cody were with us, because you get in for half the month just right off the get-go and then even in that half month, there's times where they're like, hey, friend's having a sleepover, they're having a birthday party, they're having something that's going on. So you have to plan around those things of activities we want to do as a family together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because we got Callie and Cody for half the time.
Speaker 1:Correct.
Speaker 2:We had to be really aware of that because it was kind of easy to kind of get caught up in life and just the busyness of when you have sports and there's the regular routine and this and that, and then when they would have, you know, every now and again Callie or Cody would have a spend the night party or a birthday party where it was on, like, quote unquote, our weekend where we had some plans or this or that. So it just made us even like what you already said, that we were aware of that but we had to be even more like kind of vigilant of making sure that the time that we all had together or the time that we had with them was even more, not necessarily it was more targeted.
Speaker 2:Yeah, targeted, that's a good word.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think the whole turning point for us though kind of the crux of the moment for us, where it all turned, is that it was one weekend when we had Callie and Cody. Nani, which is Thomas and Grace's grandmother wanted to spend time with them, so she took them and they were going to spend some time together, and we were going to take Callie and Cody and go out and just have a night and just have some fun. And so we're at Target. I don't know why we're at Target with Callie and Cody, and just happened to be that Nani was at Target with Thomas and Grace and they saw us, we just ran into them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they were just like oh my gosh, there y'all are, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they came over and they started talking.
Speaker 2:And this was early on because Erin Grace was little and when she saw us she kind of got emotional and was like I want to go with mom and dad.
Speaker 1:Well, it was really kind of one of those moments where Callie kind of and Callie didn't do this a whole lot, she was very, very reserved. So Callie got very emotional and started crying. I was like what's wrong? And Callie would never just outright just say what was bothering her. It was rare you had to mind for that. So we started asking some questions and kind of found out Callie was like it just doesn't seem fair that they're with you all the time and we only get you half the time. And then this was our time for us to be with you.
Speaker 2:And then, therefore, now that's not even going to happen If Aaron Grace wants to come home, because blah, blah, blah, thomas will come home, and then it won't be me and Cody.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So it was an easy decision. That night I said, okay, yeah, you guys go with Nani, we're going to keep doing our thing, have fun. And the night turned out Well. It wasn't an easy decision.
Speaker 2:It was like a.
Speaker 1:Well, it was an easy decision. That's what we needed to do.
Speaker 2:Because of that realization, that moment.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But, and that had never been presented to us yet at that point. In that way, well, it's just your perspective of that changes.
Speaker 1:Like you get to see things from Callie or Cody's point of view versus the other kids, and so when I say it was easy, it was like no, this is a decision we need to make.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so we made that decision. Well, that was kind of a turning point for us to have a discussion about how we spend time with our kids and to, even more intentional, about what we do with them, how we do it, what that looks like and how we are, and so and it was a good reflection too of what we thought looked intentional versus what it felt like on the receiving end of the kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Because they were still really young at that point. Versus what it felt like on the receiving end of the kids. Yeah, because what you— Because they were still really young at that point.
Speaker 1:Well, what you think it is is probably different from what they think it is. And so it's that whole communication thing of continuing that conversation with them. So we were on a weekend away. I think Gallen and Cody were with their mom, Thomas and Erin Grace were with Nani, and so we went away for the weekend and we were just thinking the conversation came up.
Speaker 2:It was a good reflection point of what had just recently happened.
Speaker 1:Kind of how cool would it be if we had time away with one of our kids? What if one of our kids was here and we got to spend just time with them? And so then we just started talking and brainstorming and so the idea came up with okay, let's set aside a time where our kids can have three to four days of our undivided attention. We do whatever they want to do, wherever they want to do it. Whatever that is, we're going to give them that time.
Speaker 2:So I kind of thought about okay, what's a big milestone for a kid? And it was a Sweet 16, because there's always well traditionally, there's a quote-unquote always a party for a Sweet 16 or a quinceanera or something like that. And so I was like, okay, what about for our kids? So what if we do a Sweet 16 getaway with just that one kid and us?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so the idea was is like you have three to four days and within reason, we'll do whatever it is you want to do.
Speaker 2:So when we first brought up this idea, talking about it with the kids, Cody said you know, can we go to Japan? Yeah, he immediately went. Immediately, Like international, Like yeah, let's go to Japan. Yeah, he immediately went.
Speaker 1:Immediately Like international, Like yeah, let's go to Japan, and I was like whoa, okay, wait a minute. Hang on. Thank you. We've got to put some restrictions on this, so it was like anywhere in the continental US we will go, because we didn't I mean we weren't, we didn't have a whole lot of money then either Like we're just trying to bootstrap this together and make it work.
Speaker 1:And so I don't even know how we were going to pay for these trips. We're like, how's this going to work? But we said, okay, 16th birthday, anyone in the continental US, you get three to four days of our time and we're going to do whatever you want to do, and so that set it off. Callie was the very first one to kick off the celebration and she was like I want to go to New York and so we were like okay, yeah, great idea yeah we're like that sounds like an amazing.
Speaker 1:And Callie is a January baby, and so we're like, okay, we'll go in January. And so we planned the trip.
Speaker 2:We tried to plan it so it would be around Christmas time. So, everything would still be decorated and all, but in that investigation. You know it just.
Speaker 1:Financially it was just not doable.
Speaker 2:We're a big family.
Speaker 1:We had to figure it out, yeah we're like, yeah, we can't go and Christmas will go at your birthday and so I love planning the trip. So I asked her, what do you want to do? And she was like I want to go to see a movie on Broadway.
Speaker 2:Not a movie, a show, A show yeah.
Speaker 1:Sorry, not a movie show, thank you, I want to go to Central Park and then she wanted to eat at this place where they had the frozen hot chocolate.
Speaker 2:It's called Serendipity. Yes. And so we're like okay, that's it. She's like, yeah, that's all. She had very touristy ideas, yes. And she's like I want to go see these things and we're like, okay, cool.
Speaker 1:And so I used to travel a lot for work and I had this idea. I was like cool, I'll do the, I want to have some, I'll rent a car that some guy's holding Callie's name when she gets off. And so they're like, oh, callie Peck, that's awesome. So I reached out to this company and told them hey, this is what we're doing, we're celebrating a birthday.
Speaker 2:Your actual name is Gregory Peck.
Speaker 1:Gregory Peck. Yes, and I don't know if you know, but Gregory Peck was a famous old school actor, so I made sure to use my full name when making reservations at any of the restaurants or any of the things in New York.
Speaker 2:It was a handful of times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there were a few times where people were like, oh, Gregory Peck.
Speaker 2:Oh no, it's me.
Speaker 1:Yeah. But we get to the airport and there's a guy holding a sign Cali and Cali. I was like, oh my gosh, that's our car. And I was like, oh my gosh, that's our car. And I was like, yeah, that's our car. So we were walking to the car and I had gotten us just a little town car, Just a regular town car yeah just a four-door little sedan, like black sedans. Cool. We get there and there's this massive stretch limo like massive stretch limo.
Speaker 2:And we get in the back and there's like— I immediately look at you.
Speaker 1:There's bubbly stuff everywhere Like like hey, here's some sparkling like grape juice and some other, and I was just like oh my God, I look at you and I'm like what did you do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I was thinking, I knew what the budget was and I knew what we had already reserved.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I was like there's no way I can afford this.
Speaker 2:I must have up-charred that it was good.
Speaker 1:So we rode and we got a little boutique hotel down maybe a block and a half. What was the name of the—do you remember the name?
Speaker 2:of the— the.
Speaker 1:Warwick, the Warwick Amazing place. I don't know if it's still a thing. It is A lot of years ago If you're Warwick. The Warwick was an amazing boutique hotel there, a couple blocks from.
Speaker 2:Central Park. We give a five-star rating with our whole experience.
Speaker 1:We get there the guy drops us off, and I was just like, okay, well, we're not going to be able to eat or do anything because I just bought a limo.
Speaker 2:Do any of our plans work?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so the guy was just like. I was like hey, did I order this or was this a mistake? And he's like no, we saw that it was her 16th birthday, so we upgraded you free of charge. We just wanted to do that for you, so I tipped the guy really well, yeah, I was super excited about that. And then we go into the hotel and they're just like oh hey, callie, we're so excited to see you celebrate your 16th birthday with us.
Speaker 2:We decided to upgrade you to this which upgrade you to this, which, thankfully, you had emailed them ahead of time. I did being the good daddy that you are, I'd be like, hey, we're coming up here for our daughter's 16th. Yeah, looking for things to do, yes.
Speaker 1:Help make the reservations, so they upgraded us into this massive two-bedroom hotel Like one side was like a living room, tables, everything.
Speaker 2:And then we had a whole living room, dining room, kitchenette, and then a whole separate bedroom area with our two queen beds that we had requested. That's all we wanted.
Speaker 1:And it was a whole situation. So, anyway, we're just like oh my gosh. Well then they sent up this plate of chocolate-covered strawberries that had happy birthday, sweet 16th. Happy 16th, Call Cali or whatever it was, and it was just like, oh my gosh, we went and saw Wicked, we went and ate at the Tavern on the Green we did which was amazing.
Speaker 2:We had an amazing time the Italian restaurant that we ate at before our show. That was just beyond Phenomenal.
Speaker 1:But it also snowed like a massive, massive snowstorm. It was the second largest snowstorm in New York history. History yeah. Shut down the city it sent everybody home.
Speaker 2:It even shut down public transportation, which is the second time ever that that's ever happened.
Speaker 1:It was kind of crazy because we were like we're on Fifth Avenue and we're like taking selfies in the middle of the street and there's no one there, no cars. It's like a ghost town.
Speaker 2:We had bought tickets to some public events like the One World Tower and a couple other things that we had, thank goodness, got refunded for. But there was all these big plans, yeah, and you know it didn't matter, because all Callie knew was yeah just snow, so we had. That we were there for her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it could have been bad, but it turned out to be an amazing, fun, fun time. We got to leave on time, we got to come home Tons of Barely. Yeah, tons of snow, tons of fun stuff.
Speaker 2:Well, including one of the walks in Central Park, because it was so close to our hotel that you had gotten us. One of the times we were walking in Central Park I was trying to be all cute and, like you know, social media cute and write Happy, sweet 16th or Cali 16th or whatever, in the snow bank that were as tall as we were and we don't know how to dress for snow because we just don't have that here and my boots didn't have a grip at all, and so when I was leaning forward to write that in there, I got about halfway through and my whole self fell into the snow bank.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which was very entertaining for Callie and I to just see Jess's feet sticking out of the snow Only my feet and we, I mean we laughed for a little bit. I don't know that we took a picture, but before we helped her out.
Speaker 2:There is a picture of what I was trying to write.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:But I don't know if there was a picture of me, because y'all were kind enough to get me out of it.
Speaker 1:So it was a ton of fun. We had a blast, so we're like alright, there's one kid down.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Next year rolls around.
Speaker 2:Literally the next year.
Speaker 1:The next year it was Thomas and Thomas was like I don't care where we go, I don't care, I just want it to be fun adventure.
Speaker 2:And I was like what do you mean Outside adventure?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I was like, okay, got you, boo, I got it. We're going to do what we do. And so we went to Asheville, north Carolina, and we went ziplining on some of the largest ziplines I could find, which was fun for me because I used to build zip lines and so it was really fun to go find some ones that I really liked and wanted to go ride. So we did zip lines outside of Asheville.
Speaker 2:Mind you, at that point I had never ridden a zip line in my life. And then you had Thomas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and these weren't like little bitty.
Speaker 2:It was.
Speaker 1:Navitats zip lines outside of Asheville, which they do, a phenomenal job they're like the longest in the southeast.
Speaker 2:Well, they were at that time, at that point they were there, it was pretty amazing, but this was years and years ago.
Speaker 1:They did a great job. We had a blast. We stayed in a little cool boutique hotel in Asheville. We ate, and then we went mountain biking the next day on some ridiculous mountain bike trails. I tried so hard to keep up with you guys. Yeah, and so we were mountain biking. At the time, thomas was on a mountain bike team and.
Speaker 2:I was a coach and so we had, we rode a lot, yeah, and I that that particular day I tried to keep up with you guys and I went just a what I would have felt like was a quarter way. I kept up with y'all and then there was a sign that said triple black diamond and I was like you know what I'm going to turn around, because that means it's really, really hard, and I just went back to our truck and I just was reading until you got back there and I was thankful that you all got back safe.
Speaker 2:We did and in one piece but like you had like some rib injuries from the handlebars.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I went off and the handlebar went in the rib and Thomas and I got separated. We had a—I mean—.
Speaker 2:It was a whole thing.
Speaker 1:It was fun, but it was rough. That was so tough. And then the next—we load up in the car and the next day we go whitewater rafting on the Coey and Jess wasn't a big whitewater rafter.
Speaker 2:Thomas had never been. No, I was scared out of my mind.
Speaker 1:And so we went whitewater rafting, had a blast, and then Thomas went to end in Atlanta.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but in the meantime one of these places, when I was trying to help navigate and then find a place to stay, there was one place that was not that great. Yeah, most of the places were awesome there was one place that was not that great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, most of the places were awesome. There was one that was sketch.
Speaker 2:It was sketch, it was laying on top of the and because they were gentlemen, they would let me go ahead to shower and clean up and all the things, and I was like you know what? This is scary. And it feels a little unsafe, and not because I was not outside the room or whatever, but it was just like one of those places where, like, do I need flip-flops or do I not need flip-flops, whatever? But anyway, there were some bumps in the road.
Speaker 1:Yes, definitely, but it was a fun trip. But then we left from Whitewater Rafting and drove to downtown Atlanta because there were some things Thomas wanted to do in downtown Atlanta and so we did some adventures there. We did and had a blast, but I will say this His trip at the end of his trip I felt like we had been. I had been beat up Like I was exhausted, like I was so tired Physically, I was like I'm done, like I. I mean, I was like I love you and we've had a blast.
Speaker 2:But bro, this was a lot. Yeah, I am, I need a nap, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we had so much fun, I had a blast. Then it was up to Cody.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And Cody was like I want to go to California.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so we're like okay, cool, we're off to California. I was like what do we want to do in California? He's like Cody loved the skimboard and he's like I don't know, I just want to go up the coast and he was fascinated with surfing up the coast and he was fascinated with surfing. Yeah, he said, I want to see, I want to see.
Speaker 2:I want to see the West Coast, I want to see California. We're like done Well, and you had also taught him that, like skimboarding, what he was fascinated in had originated on the West Coast.
Speaker 1:Well, there was a yeah on the on the South end, down at Laguna Beach, yeah. So we flew into LAX, we rented a car, we went down to Laguna Beach and we found the surf shop, which was crazy enough that the surf shop, the guy who owned the surf shop, was from the beach.
Speaker 1:Tabby Island, st Salmon's no, yeah, right outside of St Salmon's he was from Tabby Island and had moved out there and I was just like, are you kidding me, like from Georgia, and he's like, yeah, I was like bro, we had moved out there, and I was just like are you kidding me?
Speaker 2:Like from Georgia? And he's like yeah, I was like bro, we rented the skimboard for that day. Yeah, so we rented the skimboard from him.
Speaker 1:We went out and skimboarded and Cody was a little gun shy because the one in the beach was different. It was completely different from everything else he had ever known. Yeah, it's very very cold and the waves were breaking maybe five feet off the shore.
Speaker 2:Up your nose.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like big shore breaks Right there, yeah. And he was just like and there's these little kids that are like maybe seven, that are just ripping it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And Cody's like I'm 16. I don't want to look like an idiot in front of these guys.
Speaker 2:But anyway, I think he got a ride or two in. We're like okay, cool, let's carry it back.
Speaker 1:Yeah and so we, um, we rode quite a bit at the pch, the pacific. Yeah, we dropped the board off and just started driving up just magnificent I mean even from the scene, like we said hey, you have free reign over these three to four days. So we told him, I was like hey, you, you've got the music, you got the playlist while we drive yeah, you, you, man, the man, the music and I was like we're just driving. I was like the.
Speaker 2:The most fun thing is, though, even though they had the big idea of where they wanted to go, and a lot of them had a you know, a few specific things that they were looking at- right and what they were after.
Speaker 2:But in general it was up to you and I. Yeah, plan, but also that goes back to that word. We keep saying over and over again that being intentional, to make sure we plan that time with that child to speak to what those, those needs were and or those wants and desires were so my job was to plan the overall trip.
Speaker 1:Yes, um the big things your job was to, while the overall trip yes, the big thing your job was to, while we're driving, find us a place we're going to stay that night, yeah, and sometimes I was successful and sometimes I was just not. Sometimes it's going to miss.
Speaker 2:Like the one with Thomas and the one we were, the hotel was we were a little scared of. Yeah, we had some good ones in California, yeah, but for Cody, when we weren't quite sure what we were doing me mainly we looked up on one of the ones, well, one night.
Speaker 1:We're just jamming. I mean we are jamming, having a big time. We got the windows down, cody's got the music cranked. We're driving through the mountains, it's dark, it's the middle of the night.
Speaker 2:It's probably like 8.
Speaker 1:I have no idea where. I'm at Literally nothing, just up the Pacific Coast Highway Just motoring and all of a sudden I look up and there's blue lights and I was like, are you kidding me?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Blue lights, yeah, pull over. We were going so fast.
Speaker 1:I was like that's actually a great question. I don't know.
Speaker 2:We 100% don't know, and I remember you turning your phone to him. He was like you're not from here, are you? Yeah, I showed him the rental agreement.
Speaker 1:He goes you're not from here. I was like absolutely not. And he goes, all right, and we're standing there and he goes license. And so I'm giving him, I'm trying to get all the information to give the cop. So I give it to the cop and he's reading it and he's looking at it. We're having a conversation. He's very nice and I'm just like. You know what? It's a ticket. So he's writing the ticket and he goes. You know what? I'm going to give you a warning.
Speaker 1:And I was like thank you so he's writing the ticket and this dude just motors through this.
Speaker 2:It was a four-way stop Motors through the four-way stop.
Speaker 1:He literally takes the ticket, throws it in the window and is like have a good night, Never mind have a good night Runs back, jumps on his bike and takes off. After this guy I was like, well, that worked out, Okay, great. And so I think Cody actually kept that ticket in his memories. But we went into this place called Morro Bay. Yeah, we had no idea it was dark. We get into there. It was this little cool hotel and it was just the next—we wake up the next morning. It was just really—the people were super sweet that we rented the place from.
Speaker 2:Left us in a lock—our key in a lock box.
Speaker 1:and this whole thing Sweet notes to us, yeah, but we get out the next morning and I was like where are we?
Speaker 2:at. It was a magical wonderland.
Speaker 1:It was beautiful, like the mountains just were dumping into the ocean.
Speaker 2:And the bay where we were in had these giant rock formations in the middle.
Speaker 1:It just shot out of the water. It was the most beautiful, cool thing and we're like, okay, well, let's go find breakfast.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so we start wandering down through the town and lucky Cody is a huge skateboarder.
Speaker 2:Loves skateboarding.
Speaker 1:There was a skateboard museum there, so the skateboard museum was like dude, that's where we're going after breakfast. So we go down and we sit at this incredibly beautiful restaurant where the three of us kept saying is this real life? Yeah, we're sitting out there. It's like the sun's, I mean, it's coming up. It's beautiful. There's rocks, big old rocks, the ocean. We're right on the side of the ocean. Food was amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:They even had a little heater that came out underneath your feet.
Speaker 2:So I wasn't freezing to death.
Speaker 1:And I was just like, okay, this is pretty phenomenal. And then we went to the Skateboard Museum and then ultimately we wound up in Santa Cruz. The whole idea for Cody was we were going to end in Santa Cruz because he was a huge skateboard guy and we came to the Santa Cruz Board Shop If you're a skateboarder you know that's super cool. It's like a mecca.
Speaker 2:It's one of those like, if you know, you know, yeah, it's just the place you want to be.
Speaker 1:And so we went to Santa Cruz. We did a stir.
Speaker 2:And that was a super cool like half-a-day experience.
Speaker 1:And so we went to the board shop and then we did surf lessons. So we did a surfing Cody and I surfed at Santa Cruz, while Jess sat on the beach and froze to death.
Speaker 2:I did.
Speaker 1:We had a blast.
Speaker 2:It was so much fun Watching these five-year-olds frolic in the frigid water with their bathing suits on.
Speaker 1:I was freezing, so we hung out in Santa Cruz and had a blast. We jumped in, we come home. We made LAX in the middle of the night. We slept all the way home because we were exhausted. Amazing trip, fun, fell in love. I'd move back to Santa Cruz tomorrow if I could. It was beautiful. I couldn't afford it. And then the fourth one we went back to New York and Grace was like I want to go back to New York, it's so fun that the bookend trips were New York, because they were so different.
Speaker 1:Yes, very different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, erin Grace had these specific boutiques and these specific stops that she wanted to make, like Callie did. But they were very very different, but the commonality was they wanted to go see a show on Broadway.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:But the best part is that, since we knew the place where we took Callie girl for her dinner before Broadway, we took Erin Grace for her dinner before her Broadway show, and she was equally impressed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, same place.
Speaker 2:Yes. Amazing People are amazing there, and it was literally on Erin Grace's birthday, and it was so cute because the staff knew that it was her birthday and they obviously didn't know her name. So when they sang happy birthday to her, they said happy birthday, total stranger. And it was such a good memory.
Speaker 2:We went to Phantom of the Opera that night we did, and it was the final year of the showing and we got to see some touristy sites that Erin Grace had on her list, that Callie did not have on her list. It was just so fun.
Speaker 1:Well, we went to the One Tower.
Speaker 2:We did go to the One Tower when we tried to go. One World Trade.
Speaker 1:Yes tower. We didn't go to the one tower um where we tried to go trade yes, and we went to the museum, the 9-11 museum. We tried to do that with callie, but this got snowed out yeah, when we went with aaron.
Speaker 2:Phenomenal at that amazing and I feel like that was kind of a god moment too, because at that point when callie was going, it was just obviously because of what had happened to our country and just, you know, honor and memoriam too. But when Aaron Grace was going, Thomas, our oldest son, had already started on his firefighter journey and so seeing that then was very it just brought it to life of what one of our kids had chosen to do for his own career.
Speaker 1:Yeah. It was just a whole different experience of what it would have been four years prior. You got to go see those things you do. I mean go to the South End, go to the park, you can look at Statue of Liberty down there. All those things are amazing. The One Tower was just phenomenal.
Speaker 2:It was. It's life was just phenomenal.
Speaker 1:It was it's life-changing Such a cool experience we went to—she wanted ramen noodles from Chinatown, so we rode the subway to Chinatown got ramen noodles.
Speaker 2:One of the things on her list at that point in her life was a specific boutique, and so as we went from Chinatown to get the for-real ramen and we went to the boutique and you were waiting outside.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wasn't about to go into the boutique because I was boutiqued out. That's what Erin wanted to go into every clothing. I was like I love you, sweetie, but I'm going to wait outside. Well, I'm out there eating these noodles and I guess I look like a local because I was wrapped up and this couple came up and they're just like hey, where's so-and-so? I had no freaking idea what they were talking about.
Speaker 2:And then, what did you pretend like?
Speaker 1:I gave my best New York accent. That I thought. I mean, I'm from Georgia, so I tried to do my best New York accent and I was just like oh, you go down here about two streets, take a right and then you take your first left. It's right there on the right and they're just like oh, thank you so much Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:I was like you guys have a great day Just eating my noodles. I had no idea. Bless For you couple. I'm sorry. It was fun but it was a lot. But anyway, we did Subway.
Speaker 2:We did all the things we had so much fun. Well, at that point we kind of toyed with the idea of like, what if we do a trip when they turn 21?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it yeah.
Speaker 2:But our oldest two got married when they were 21. So it was like okay, that changes things yeah.
Speaker 1:It was when we came home with Aaron. It was a week later when everything shut down in New York For COVID For. Covid, and it was like everything hit from that.
Speaker 2:So everything changed. It was literally the same week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hit from that, so everything changed the same week. Yeah, it was like, yeah, like seven days later. So it was crazy, yeah, crazy time. But what's we say? That to say? I mean, those are our fun, fun trips we did yes but we also had very, very intentional small things we did with our kids on a uh like a weekly basis that weren't huge, that weren't massive. You don't have to spend because I know you're probably out there going, bro. I'm not spending money to go to New York or California.
Speaker 2:I mean, there were some stories that we talked about that we haven't even talked about now during the recording of, like, I had girls' days with the girls where we would go and get our nails done and we would go shopping and things like that on a regular basis. That I would just do for Girls' Day, and you had Boys' Days and guys' time.
Speaker 1:And Boys' Days, we would either go fishing and then we would go eat some really trashy food that the girls would never eat like crystals or somewhere that the girls just were like, eh, that's gross. So we were like, yeah, we're going to go eat there. Our first trip to crystals, corey Anderson was with us. We went fishing, went to Crystal, and Thomas starts crying. Bless his heart. He hates this story and Corey's like why are you crying? He goes, my mom never lets me eat crystals. And Corey's like just shut up and eat that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Corey was not. He was younger.
Speaker 2:They needed to have kids, yeah but I mean, I feel like you probably backed him up on that. And so it was funny, I had been a single mama for a long time and I thought Crystal was gross. So of course I'm not going to take him to Crystal.
Speaker 1:And so. But guys' days consisted of my family had a lot of land, so sometimes we'd just go shoot skeet, yeah, just go hang out, like we would go do just fun guy things, anything sound fun. Sometimes we'd go to just you know, just any kind of thing that sounded fun as guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, same thing for us when I had the girls, just me and Aaron, and sometimes it was simple things.
Speaker 1:Like we were in the backyard.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And the boys would just hang out while you ladies went and done something simple.
Speaker 2:So it's not about We'd go shopping or go get our nails done. It's not about a big thing, no.
Speaker 1:We did our 16th trips because we wanted those to be something big and memorable. But the idea is being intentional with every single moment you have, whether that's on a daily basis, on a weekly basis, not just when they turn 16. Don't wait for that one moment. There's tons of moments. You get to embrace those and have those times, yeah.
Speaker 2:So to kind of bring us to the unpack portion of this, we've had a great time retelling our stories, because they are fun.
Speaker 2:But the intentionality behind the stories is what makes them so memorable for us and the kids, because all four of them still talk about this many years later. They still talk about their trips because it was just them, and they all four still talk about even just a regular quote, unquote everyday things that we would do with them, like crystal or swimming or fishing, or when I would take the girls to go get our nails done or go shopping or whatever. It's not just like one more thing to do on your list of things to do, because if you're in the thick of a blended family, like we were at that point, it's more than just one more thing to do.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Would you agree with that?
Speaker 1:It's the thing to do, right? Would you agree with that? It's the thing to do? I don't mean it to be that and one of those ways. I watched a TikTok the other day and it's so interesting, but it just hit me right where I was at it was a lady speaking and it was like I can't wait till my kids can bathe themselves. I can't wait till they move out. I can't wait till they do this. I can't wait till my kids can bathe themselves. I can't wait till they move out. I can't wait till they do this. I can't wait till they do that. And it showed her with her adult kids and she was basically like don't be happy where you're at, in the moment you're at. Don't wish for the happiness to come. Be happy where you're at. And I think that's the intentionality behind it is like you get to decide. You get to make those decisions. You get to be targeted for the outcomes with your kids. Enjoy them, whether it's you're at a ball field, whether you're at a cheer competition, whether you're traveling, whether you're not, whether you're just. You get to spend some time being intentional about how you're spending your time.
Speaker 2:um, and who you're spending it with, because people say it all the time but you don't realize it till after the fact.
Speaker 2:So I don't mean to join the choir of the people who say, oh, you just don't realize what you've got till, it's gone, but it's so true it is so, so true, because I know you and I both have talked about it multiple times like we feel like we did the best we could and we enjoyed it the best we could when our kids were little. But it's kind of like would I like to go back and do it again to make sure that we enjoyed every single second. Well, yeah, I would, but I feel pretty confident. Not in a boastful way, I don't mean to sound like ugly when I say that, but I feel like we tried really, really hard.
Speaker 1:We did. We didn't make it all, but I mean we did the best we could.
Speaker 2:We did.
Speaker 1:Anything else to add?
Speaker 2:Mainly just kind of like what we've been talking about this evening. It's like it's not that you know it, it's the one-on-one foundations, or their one-on-one attention to um little things. That sets the foundation for like kind of everything and that feels like a big statement to say. But like our grown kids who are in their mid-20s now, it's wild to say they.
Speaker 2:I feel like they would kind of agree with that. Like, as hard as we tried to make sure everything was equal or, you know, blended as best as we could, there's those little bitty things that we made sure to kind of point out or support. There are the big pieces of who they are as people.
Speaker 1:Now, so wrapping it up, thank you guys. So much for listening. If you haven't like subscribe to our podcast, please do so. We're just doing this for the fun of it. We're just trying to spread the word. Thank you for sharing, thank you for listening. We finally got someone internationally listening too Australia. So, yeah, we jumped the pond, which is kind of fun.
Speaker 2:Who do we know in Australia that listen to us? Can you please message us, because I'm fascinated by that.
Speaker 1:And so I would just love to say, and all of that saying, thank you so much for following us. I want to hear your stories. I want to hear something intentional you've done with your kids that you felt like was a home run that mattered. Go to our social media. You can find us on Facebook, instagram. All those good things. Go there, share your story, because I want to hear it, we would love to hear it, and other people too would love to have some ideas, some things they can help build, some intentional, fun ideas around, wherever they're at. So please share. Thank you for liking, thank you for subscribing.
Speaker 2:Yes, thank you.
Speaker 1:And we'll catch you guys in the next one. Thank you.
