Baggage Claim
Baggage Claim is a space for blended families, marriage, and friendship.
Here, we dive into real-life conversations about the ups and downs of relationships, from navigating second marriages to unpacking the baggage we all bring. Hosted by Greg and Jessica, who both have rich experiences with love, loss, and family, this community is about sharing stories, learning together, and growing stronger as couples and individuals. Grab a drink and join us as we unpack, laugh, and claim our baggage—one conversation at a time
Baggage Claim
Time: The Currency You Can’t Earn Back
Do you know exactly where every dollar in your budget goes, but have no idea where your hours disappear to each day? Time—our most precious and finite resource—often slips through our fingers without the careful attention we give to our finances. In this heartfelt episode of Baggage Claim, Greg and Jess tackle the uncomfortable truth about how we mismanage our most valuable asset.
Drawing inspiration from the hit show "The Bear" and its mantra "every second counts," they explore how our perception of time evolves throughout life. That shocking realization when you hit a milestone birthday and suddenly understand the clock truly is ticking down isn't just a midlife crisis—it's an awakening to reality. But rather than becoming paralyzed by this awareness, Greg and Jess offer a framework for making it empowering.
The statistics they share are sobering: after your children move out, you'll likely spend only one more cumulative year with them for the rest of your life. Parents who pour everything into their kids' activities often look at each other like strangers once the nest empties—explaining why divorce rates spike during this transition. Through personal stories and practical advice, Greg and Jess demonstrate how to avoid becoming another statistic.
What would change if you mapped out your time the same way you track your spending? Would you be shocked to discover you and your spouse only have 45 quality minutes together each day? Small adjustments—putting away phones during car rides, making breakfast a meaningful ritual instead of a rushed chore—can reclaim precious moments for connection. The relationship between spouses forms the foundation of family life, yet it's often the most neglected when schedules get busy.
Take the challenge: sit down with your partner tonight and honestly assess where your time is going. Then start the conversation about how to invest it more wisely in what truly matters. Because unlike money, when time is gone, you can never earn more of it.
Hey guys, what's up? I'm Greg. I hope you guys are ready to unpack and get into some good conversations today.
Speaker 2:And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast Baggage Claim. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1:What's up everybody, welcome to Baggage Claim. If you're new here, thank you for joining us. If you're a regular visitor, thanks for joining back and hanging out with us tonight. We just want to ask you to just, kind of proverbially, sit back, take a deep breath, relax.
Speaker 2:I need to do that also.
Speaker 1:Baggage Claim is a place where we're hoping to create some conversations in community around relationships, marriage, all those fun things of life that just happen, and so, yeah, we're. Do you need to take a deep breath? You feel distressed.
Speaker 2:I'm going to need a lot of deep breaths. It looks like you haven't been breathing.
Speaker 3:I don't think I was breathing when you were talking.
Speaker 1:Jess is holding her breath, so we're still in back to school mode, but I just want to say right off the get-go, though, before we go any further, go Dawgs.
Speaker 2:Go Dawgs.
Speaker 1:Great first week. Go Dawgs. I mean we didn't really play anybody, but man.
Speaker 2:I mean we played like a little junior college, but it was fun to see some of our boys step up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's fun to see football back on TV. And so it's fun to see football back on TV. And so it's that time of year. Everything is right in the world.
Speaker 2:The weather is cooling off, if you're in Georgia in the southeast and I'm a different kind of girl. I literally enjoy football.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we joined the College Fantasy Football League. Jess joined and we played each other the first week and guess who won?
Speaker 2:That'd be me.
Speaker 3:What was the score she?
Speaker 1:beat me by 10 points.
Speaker 2:I beat him by 10 points. You know why.
Speaker 1:It's the freaking Alabama defense I had. I had picked Alabama defense because who wouldn't pick defense for Alabama? And I had.
Speaker 2:Ohio State's defense.
Speaker 1:And we demolished.
Speaker 2:Texas. So you know, we quote unquote my pretend defense who I own.
Speaker 1:My pretend defense never showed up.
Speaker 2:Yours didn't even go there.
Speaker 1:That was a rough one. Invite a direct message and just be like bro.
Speaker 2:I need to oh our candle's done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're out, Candle's out, so all right. So we're back in the swing of things. We are Football's going. Everything's right in the world. Weather's great if you're in the southeast. If you're not somewhere else, at least there's football on TV.
Speaker 2:We're three weeks in now for school starting here where we live Back in the whole schedule of getting up in the feels like middle of the night to go to school and then to get home, and it's just.
Speaker 1:And for you guys out there, and guys and girls who are listening, who are probably getting kids up and getting them on the bus at 6 o'clock and you're running to football practices and cheerleading practices and gymnastics practice and all the other practices that are out there Yep, you know exactly what we're talking about. You're like bro, I am exhausted. Yeah, so we're going to dig into something that just kind of hit home for us. I don't know, maybe it was last year or the year before. We're just kind of—it was something we've always been mindful of.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it just kind of—.
Speaker 2:Especially when the kids were growing up and they were in four different sports, four different directions, and then I decided to go back to school.
Speaker 2:And and then I decided to go back to school, and it's just always been a thing, and so it's something that I guess it probably came back around after most of the kids moved out. There's only one that lives at home now, and even though we don't have kids going 500 different places for example, today, when I leave for work at.20 in the morning, you choose to get up with me so that we can see each other for five seconds before I go to work, because when I get home, I immediately change clothes and go to the gym for an hour and by the time I get home it's 5.30, 5.40. We cook dinner and sit down and eat together, but it's kind of hurried, and then we clean up and I go, take a shower and I go to bed and then we go. We do it all again tomorrow, and so we started realizing that, even though it's just mainly you and I, we don't really spend a lot of time together unless we really concentrate on that.
Speaker 1:Right. So we talked about intention. We talk about relationships on here. We talk about time with about intention. We talk about relationships on here. We talk about time with your spouse, we talk about time with your kids.
Speaker 1:So there's this common denominator, this thread that runs through all of those things, and it's time, yeah, and so time is that one thing. It's crazy, we take it for granted, but it's the one thing we can't reproduce. Yeah, it's the one thing we can't get more of. We're only given a certain allotted amount of that time every day and you get to use. It's crazy.
Speaker 1:It's almost like a bank account gets refilled every night you go to bed. It gets refilled with 24 hours. Yeah, you get to spend those 24 hours ever how you want to. Yeah, you get to pick shoes, and so many times we just don't even think about that, we just go through our dude. I'm just trying to get toast and breakfast in the kids' mouths and get them out the door, like I'm not thinking about time. And so we want to ask you tonight just to kind of sit back, maybe, have a different perspective in thinking about time and how we see it, how we use it, what do we do with it and just kind of break down some ideas and some thoughts that we have around that whole concept.
Speaker 2:So there was a show that we watched it was on Hulu that our son Cody told us about, and it's called the Bear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, great show it's a super good show.
Speaker 2:I mean it's got some language in it, but it's all based in a commercial kitchen.
Speaker 1:Based out of Chicago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, out of Chicago with professional chefs like world-renowned in this show chefs. And there's a lot of talk about time, especially in the last couple of seasons, especially what was it? Season three?
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, but there was one episode where they had a clock ticking and so the whole episode it was just it would go back to this clock and this clock's ticking, and it was ticking and ticking, and every time they would be in there they would be like so-and-so, every second counts, and they'd be like, yes, chef. And then there was like this little sign that they had too.
Speaker 2:That said, every second counts.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And just because this has been a reoccurring conversation that we've had.
Speaker 1:it was like oh, wow, ok that's kind of a big deal, because that one episode really kept going back to that how every second counts, yeah, which is really weird for me because I never really saw time that way. It just always felt infinite to me. And I think when I hit 50, I hit the big 5-0, something happened in me mentally that made me go wait a second. The clock's winding down. Like we're not, this isn't a there's not a never-ending clock.
Speaker 2:Like there's, it's counting down and, whether I wanted to or not, it's counting down and whether that's a thought you've actually had, like an actual thought you've had, like it's happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it can be be like you live in one of those camps. You either look at that and you get completely depressed and stuck on yourself, or you look at it and go, ok, so how do I manage every second or every minute, every, every, every bit of time that I have? How do I manage that so that I get the full potential out of that time that I have?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you mentioned it a little bit ago when you were opening up that time that I have yeah, you mentioned it a little bit ago when we you were opening up that time is kind of like a bank account.
Speaker 1:It is. It is like a bank account and you you had to, there's one of these things and we'll get into it and unpack. But you kind of got to look at time the same way. You look at your, your budget, like if you don't know where every penny goes. I mean Ramsey would be like if you don't know where every penny goes. I mean Ramsey would be like if you don't know where every penny goes, then you're broke and so it's like that. You know money matters every penny and you have the thing where it counts where every single penny of your bank account goes.
Speaker 2:And you know exactly where you're spending time or your money. Yeah, it's the same thing with minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the exact same way, like you have this set amount of time and you're spending it every single day. So it's like look at your time that way, to sit kind of in the process.
Speaker 2:So as we go through this, you may be thinking there's certain variables in your day that you just can't, you can't control, you can't Well, you can Well in a sense, like I know I go into work a little early, but it's only like 15, 20 minutes early. But like when I go to work I have to be there for a certain amount of time. So I can't really control that. But after work, that's where my free will comes in and what I can do at that time.
Speaker 1:But you know what's interesting, though, the average person and it may be different for a teacher, the average person at work only spends three and a half to four hours a day actually being productive in their job that they're hired to do.
Speaker 2:I can assure you that is not the case for a teacher.
Speaker 1:It's so interesting when you look at statistically, like three and a half to four hours of actual work, that they're paid to do and that three to four hours is the top of the top producers Right. That's not. Yeah, that's the guys that are killing it. That's the best of the best.
Speaker 3:That's insane yeah.
Speaker 2:Because every second of every minute of every day that I am at work as a first grade teacher, something is happening, there's a decision being made, whether the kids are with me or at lunch, or they're at art or wherever, every single, even while I'm trying to eat, I'm still making choices and decisions and plans, and there's not a wasted moment. That's why a lot of times I get home and I'm like I don't, I don't have any words left for a little while.
Speaker 1:I need to, I need a minute so it's a, I mean, it's one of those. And then when you factor in the idea of a phone, um, man, like I don't know if you get them, if you have an iPhone, if you have an Android I don't think they do this, but on your iPhone, every Sunday, it sends you a weekly report of how long you've done what, how long you've been online or playing games. Sometimes that is incredibly insulting and shameful. It is for me anyway. I look at it and I'm like oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:You did recently go back into the game world.
Speaker 1:I did. My name is Greg and I'm addicted to games on my phone. You are.
Speaker 2:I was so proud of you that you spent a lot of months game free.
Speaker 1:That was like a year or more.
Speaker 2:I know.
Speaker 1:Just no games. And then I downloaded this game and I had the thought this weekend. I was like this is dumb. I don't even like that. This is dumb, so it's gone.
Speaker 2:You're such a big boy I'm deleted it, I'm so proud.
Speaker 3:You just have to find a new game now yeah, see, that's the problem.
Speaker 1:I'll find a game that I don't even care about it should be stupid stacking blocks and I'll be like you know, oh, I gotta get to level a thousand or something and I'm like what, what? It just doesn't. But anyway. So we spend our time and really a rat race. We spend our time doing all kind of crazy things, sometimes useless things. Sometimes we just want to veg out and watch TV. The average person spends four hours on their phone a day and I know a lot of people I love it when we use it. As adults, we say, oh, but I work on my phone. Oh, it's for work, it's work. And then you realize, if it is for work, then just delete Instagram and Facebook and TikTok off your phone.
Speaker 2:And then see how much time you spend there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see how many times you pick your phone up. Then it's like if your phone's really just email and phone calls, that's all you need it for. Yeah, because I mean we're so sad. The other night we were laying in bed and we're just scrolling through TikToks just one right after the other.
Speaker 2:We were showing each other funny ones.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I was intrigued about some dogs like AI dogs, talking at a dog park and I just had to like that's what we're filling our lives with.
Speaker 2:That was just last night and I was trying to tell you goodnight because I needed to go to bed and you're like but wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, watch, these dogs are going to talk. I'm like okay, it's so funny. It really actually was very funny.
Speaker 1:So it's like we have all these things but we don't really stop to go man, where's my time going? Like, where's this going? Because the clock is ticking and it is crazy for us because can we agree maybe everyone in this room, can we agree that healthy relationships take time?
Speaker 2:Well, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So it's like okay, that's a given, if you want a good relationship, you've got to put time and you can't just show up once every now and then and feel like, oh yeah, well, you know, hey, what's up, everything's great. Yeah, let's go. Let's keep rolling on. Those people who try to do that have really unhealthy relationships. So if that's the case, then the big question is okay, so how do we do this Like? How do we, like we realize time is this variable that we can't really control? No, like we can control it, but we're only given so much of it.
Speaker 2:And the idea that there's an expiration date. It's kind of like yikes.
Speaker 1:You know what's interesting Like if you say you go to say you pick up the creamer, we have creamer in our fridge, you pick up the creamer. If the expiration date was last week, are you going to use that?
Speaker 2:I would smell it first. You smell it, I would smell it first yes, see, I don't even smell it, I just use it.
Speaker 3:I don't live with expiration dates.
Speaker 1:You don't Nah, you think it's a suggestion. Yeah, it's definitely a suggestion.
Speaker 2:Some things. It is just a suggestion.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, like bread's easy when it's got green stuff growing on it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is easy.
Speaker 1:yes, milk is easy yes, milk is easy, like milk when it's clumpy and it's clogged.
Speaker 3:The true form of bravery is testing milk that's expired.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but all of the people except for me that live in this house are lactose intolerant.
Speaker 1:I just don't like milk.
Speaker 2:So we don't have milk here ever.
Speaker 1:Well, it's just the other day Erin Grace found some ham turkey in the fridge and I don't even remember buying turkey, so it was like.
Speaker 2:I did because it was still in the summer, and that tells you.
Speaker 1:And she's like will you smell this? And as soon as she walked out, thomas goes that doesn't even look good. Whatever it is that looks bad and it smelled. I was like that's a weird smell, so it was a no go, but it's. I mean everything, everything has a shelf life. Uh, trends have a shelf life. You know, tiktok used to be dancing. Now it's not even that. It used to be funny videos. Now it's just something else.
Speaker 1:It's like ai now yeah, and instagram was at one time this and now it's something different. It's like everything changes and everything has a shelf life and it moves to some it moves on to the next step. That's just the way life works.
Speaker 2:Well, speaking of moving on to the next step, like you told me something not too long ago about once your kids move out of your home, whatever the age may be. Sometimes it's for college or just adulting. The the amount of time.
Speaker 1:Talk about that when you were oh yeah, I, I found this statistic and it really blew my mind so I had to dig into it a little bit just to try to, and then I tried to do it with us and our kids. Like um, it says, you will spend the first 18 years of the kid's life if, if they're living at home, you spend 18 years up until the age of 18. From the time they move out, the average person will only spend one more year cumulatively with that kid the rest of their life. So which sounds insane.
Speaker 2:Yeah, at first we were like there's no way, that's real.
Speaker 1:But then we started sitting down thinking about how much time have we spent in the last year with Callie and Charles.
Speaker 2:Who live out of state.
Speaker 1:Yeah, who live in Pensacola. It's like how much time have we spent with Cody?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Who I mean? It's just, it's just crazy. When you start thinking about it, you're adding up your life.
Speaker 2:Even the one kid that lives here. I mean that fits in that scenario too. We just have one child and Thomas and Miranda with our granddaughter Lucy, and I know that Lucy is the anchor. They're the ones we spend the most time with, but that's an intentional kind of thing, because we want to see our granddaughter every time we can.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:However, there'll be times where that's not the case too, and that was such a scary thought of how is that real? Yeah, like you said, once we started kind of thinking about it, it was like actually, no, that's real, that is so sad.
Speaker 1:It really is. I mean the whole idea. It came about too when I was reading another study of a guy. He was talking about time and taking advantage of your opportunities and he's like as an adult, he was like I was going to see my dad who wasn't feeling very well, and he said I was going to see my dad who wasn't feeling very well, and he said I spent some time with him during the holidays. He said I figured it out. I'll go and see him at least four times a year. And he's like my dad was getting up there in age and he's like he's probably going to live another eight to 10 years. And he's like, say, he lives 10 years at best and he's like four times I'm only that's the only amount of time that I'm going to see him. So it's like you don't have that many. Because you may think, hey, you would say, oh, I have 18 summers with my kids before they move out. That's best case scenario.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's if you don't have to share them with you know, another parent, or if they don't have, like, all of ours have always, always had jobs and all of ours have always done extracurricular activities. So it's like no, you whittle that down and it keeps whittling down, and whittling down, and whittling down, until it's like nothing.
Speaker 1:Well, that's why I say know your numbers, like, know your time, like. We want to talk about this idea of like, no, no, no, they live in the same house with me and be like okay, then tell me how much time you spend with them each day out of the day. And it may be like, oh, okay, 45 minutes. So in a quimic of like you spend seven hours over a week with them. Right, you spend that at one day of work. So it's like you start looking at it in that sense it's like, no, how much like. And then it makes makes you, it makes you start to look at the whole idea is like you have a shelf life with your family, in the sense like there's a time when seasons change, they move out things, they're different. Yes, um, someone may get sick, they may not. Um, do you have?
Speaker 3:something. Yeah, no, I was just gonna say it comes along the same sense, though. We put that time into work because we know what we get out of it right. We put that time into work because we know what we get out of it Right.
Speaker 2:We put that time into work because we're like oh well, either one, I have to do it, there's direct results or two there's an expectation from a boss or something like that, right?
Speaker 3:Or even if you own your own company, you know, if I don't do this, there is no return, right? You know? Yep, but how often do we go through life and we don't treat our relationships the same way? Yeah, either one. We've never thought of it that way, cause, I mean, we budget money, we budget work, we work through, we do all these things, but we don't consider our time with family and our time with friends or time with a spouse the same way.
Speaker 3:Then, when things fall apart, we're like what happened? Where did we miss it? You've not been investing in it.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, because most of the time, you could probably look back at your calendar, yeah, and be like, okay, let's talk about what this last two months have looked like. How much time have you invested in this or that you know?
Speaker 1:Well, when you're honest, like when you're really, really honest with yourselves and you can sit down and it takes a third party, like somebody sitting down with you, and go, okay, tell me your weekly schedule, tell me what you do, and for them to hear their perspective, and you may be thinking well, everybody's like this or this is the way it is, like, like, it's not, it's not always that way, like, and so it's so true. Like when families are growing up, it's so easy and parents do this all the time and it's really. It's really really sad to see because parents start attaching so much time to what their kids are doing, because they want to invest in their kids and they say the idea of I want my kid to have better than what I did. So that's sometimes when we give so much time to work, because I want to make more money, I want them to have it better than I did. I want them to not have to work as hard as I did to get here.
Speaker 1:I get that, but in a sense, too, you became who you were because you had to do what you had to do to get there. So it's almost like are you helping your kids by doing that? But in the same sense, you and it's just a question, I'm not, don't roast me whether I'm wrong. I mean, for some it may be right, for some it may be wrong, but the idea is like what's your goal? Like, what's your goal for your kids? What's your goal for your family? Yeah, like, what is that going to be?
Speaker 1:Because you have these parents who get kids so involved in sports and they get their lives are so, and so everything evolves around. We're doing everything around that. Every weekend, every spare minute we have, we're doing those activities. Well, then, all of a sudden, one day, sports are done, they graduated school and they're like well, I'm not, I don't want to play sports at collegiate level, or I'm not, I can't play sports at collegiate level. And then, all of a sudden, you have parents who look at each other and they don't even know who each other are, because they've been on, they've been chasing this dream with their kids forever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and They've been chasing this dream with their kids forever. Yeah, and it's that whole thing of time with kids and time invested in what the kids want to do and letting even kids' schedule kind of dictate. Your life is not ever going to pay off in the end if you're not careful to make sure that it doesn't outweigh time invested in your marriage, because, like you've always said, the kids are going to leave and it's going to be me and you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I mean, we told our kids many times it's like you guys are here because we fell in love with each other and we are married. Yeah, like if we weren't married we wouldn't be a family and y'all wouldn't be here. Yeah, so the idea that we're all in this together, like I'm investing in her so that I can invest in you guys, and so I think it's completely okay to to to leave kids at home and go on a date sometimes. I think it's okay to leave kids, if you can, and go on vacation, go away for a few days, like I'm not saying you have to do that all the time. There's times where it's needed. You need to reinvest, you have to.
Speaker 2:I go back back to, though you have to look at time in a very I mean, it is what it is like you're spending it.
Speaker 1:The way you're spending so much, right, and it's like you can. You can make excuses as much as you want. You'll be like well, I sleep for eight hours. Yeah, okay, you can sleep six hours if you want and save two more hours to do something else, if you want. I mean that's. I mean you can like if you're like. I don't. Most of the time I don't sleep eight hours.
Speaker 2:I was just going to say sleep is not like high on the priority list for you.
Speaker 1:No, like it's really not and it's weird, but sometimes I really enjoy. Like I crawl into bed this week because I've been gone on a golf trip this weekend, and I crawl back this week because I've been gone on a golf trip this weekend and I crawled back in our bed and I was like, oh my gosh, it feels so good, it just feels good to be in your bed back home, but it's like I don't know Sleeping is. I don't sleep. Well, I think.
Speaker 2:But back to the whole kid and time thing Like what's sad and true because I mean statistics show it but after you just pour your whole life and all this time and energy into what the kids are doing and then you forget about your spouse in the meantime I mean once the kids grow up or get to a certain age or even leave the home, that's when a lot of divorces happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's because you've forgotten what it means to actually invest in your marriage.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Of that time I mean. Any good relationship takes time.
Speaker 1:And I'm not saying sports and extracurriculars are not called for.
Speaker 2:Our kids did all the things, yeah.
Speaker 1:We carried, like Thomas, mountain was mountain biking, but we carried our entire family. Some of them did not like it, but we'd have to go stay off for a weekend. We'd get a hotel room All over the state of Georgia and we would pack in a hotel room for that weekend and we would mountain bike. But we all did it together and it was fun together, it just. But then I look at it and I was like Thomas learned a lot and I think it was good for him. But it was a couple weeks ago. His bike was sitting out, propped up on a building. Some family members were getting in a mountain bike and I was like, hey, you guys want Thomas' old bike. And he's like, really, I mean, we put shocks on it, we put new wheels on it. We dumped a lot of time and energy.
Speaker 2:All it needed was a little tune-up and some cleaning.
Speaker 1:I was like you, just need some love and some cleaning and a little tune up and you'll be good to go. But it's like it reminds me of like we were so invested into that and it was financial, a big financial investment, not just time and it wound up with being a bike that was propped up against the building.
Speaker 2:That's so true. Outside and this was like that was a lot of years of our life and a lot of time for the other kids too.
Speaker 1:It was great because we built great relationships doing it, had a blast doing it. I love the people we were doing it with.
Speaker 2:And the rest of our kids. They had a blast doing it, just because we made sure.
Speaker 1:But we tried to do that as a family, even though that was something we were doing.
Speaker 2:Directly for Thomas. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I think that's the intentionality behind time. It's like be intentional, know that every second counts. While I'm cooking breakfast, I remember, uh, in the mornings, I was in charge of breakfast at our house, and so I always taught breakfast as a hype session, like I'm gonna hype everybody up.
Speaker 2:It was a party in the kitchen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like they come in, we'd have music playing.
Speaker 2:I was getting ready and fixing the girl's hair. They would, you and the boys would have it going in there already.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just loud, like having a good time, just like, hey, what are we talking about today? Let's talk about something today. What's going on? Like just get excited. We got the day ahead of us and I used to call it the Festival of Learning. So I was like we're about to go to the Festival of Learning, so let's get ready. And so we had a great time and I always remember like for me that was very intentional with that time to go. I'm going to be direct and get some fun, good time with my kids in the morning, because I know in the afternoons and I remember I always remember Cody walking in and nobody was really a morning person really. Cody would entertain me sometimes, but he is less of a morning person. Now Callie got better. She did. It took her a morning person really. Cody would entertain me sometimes, but he is less of a morning person. Now Callie got better.
Speaker 2:She did.
Speaker 1:It took her a little while, but she was good.
Speaker 2:Thomas and Nair never got on the morning train?
Speaker 1:No, thomas was like the walking dead in our kitchen, but Cody came walking in and was like I was like. So what are we talking about this morning at breakfast? And Cody's like I'd like to discuss monotheism versus the like and like I'd like to discuss polytheism. Yeah, polytheism versus monotheism. I remember I was going.
Speaker 1:He was like really yes and I was like, hey, here we go. It was, uh, it's like being intentional about just even breakfast, being intentional about going in, like if I was off or I was able to, I tried to go pick them up from school. I was trying to be and I'm not saying I had it all figured out and it's perfect, because it's not.
Speaker 2:We are not like trying to say, oh, we have all the answers. Here's the thing, or we know exactly what you need to do to fix this or that. Or we're the experts, we are not.
Speaker 1:No, and that's why I'm saying this is not one of those episodes where you're going to be like, okay, give me four things to do and I'm going to go do those. This is a. I'm going to give you one thing to start a question.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's going to be different for everyone.
Speaker 1:Right a thousand percent.
Speaker 2:All we want you to do is just start talking about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have the conversation with your wife or your husband and say can we talk about the time and how we spend it? We talk about our budget and we talk about that. Let's talk about our time and how we spend it.
Speaker 2:Going back to. We're not saying we know everything, but, like our definition or our answer to the time question, it's changed over a lot of years. Yeah, and we had to revisit it because it changed. I mean, we've been together 13 years now and this change, we've had different phases, We've had different seasons of life. I mean it's just there's a lot of change.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean date dates used to be Starbucks before we went grocery shopping at Kroger, and that was it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now it's like we come to the realization. When I come home, I'm like I have you for 45 minutes before I lose you. So when we get home, it's like do you want a glass of wine? Do you want to sit down? Can we hear some things I want to talk about? Yeah, let's go sit outside where it's fun and hear some things I want to talk about. And here's some things I want to talk about, right Like, and we usually just roll through some of the day. It's not that you had to be so programmed, but the thing is is if I'm not intentional in watching that time to make sure it goes, there won't?
Speaker 2:be any.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just going to be gone.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so the whole idea is to go just, I want to pitch the idea and get you to think yeah, there's a clock ticking right now, like it's been ticking since we started this episode and we're probably 28 minutes into this and in that 28 minutes there's a lot of life that's happened. Yeah, a lot of crazy things in the world have happened, and it just not to be morbid, but hey, the clock's running down, it is. So it's like what are we going to do with the time we have?
Speaker 2:That's what I want to ask.
Speaker 1:Let's unpack it, okay.
Speaker 2:I'm not good at unpacking right now, so I'm going to try my best, Like literally in life right now. You didn't unpack from the trip yet that you just got back from. Okay. I did get back Literally.
Speaker 1:I did. You have not unpacked. No, I got back Monday. It's Tuesday.
Speaker 3:Today's just Tuesday. Yeah, it's Tuesday, you still got time. Yeah, it's not bad, you still got time. You got at least like 48 hours before it starts getting weird, like it gets weird.
Speaker 1:Is there a time limit on when it's weird?
Speaker 2:It would only be weird if like Is it a?
Speaker 1:week from now.
Speaker 2:Well maybe.
Speaker 1:Hey, I packed that this weekend, though I took it out of my bag for you.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:That pullover you have on.
Speaker 2:Oh what I'm wearing. Yes, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:But my bag, literally, is sitting on the bathroom counter. I unzipped it and took the toothpaste and my toothbrush out.
Speaker 2:It would be more weird if I needed stuff from what you have not unpacked from your bag, like I don't care, you do you?
Speaker 1:That's your side of the bathroom I don't care, I literally don't care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so pile up all your crap so figuratively not figuratively, but literally. I'm not great at unpacking sometimes, and so for unpacking, let's refer back just real quick to like just kind of think of your time as how you, you budget your money. Um, hopefully, but and so if yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1:No I was gonna say this is the unfun part. Yeah, when you sit down and literally like sketch out and maybe do this at night, at the end of the night go. Okay, what do we do? Like write out your day. You don't have to be, you don't have to be specific. The more specific you are, the better it is. But don't be weird about it, yeah don't be like three minutes and 45 seconds doing this or four minutes and four, but no sort of journal.
Speaker 2:Out your day, it gives you a really good look of okay, wow, because I mean one of the first times we talked about after I come home from school and I want to go to the gym and this and that and the other, and the evening unfolds. Whenever we talked about it, finally, I was like okay, like you said, we get literally like a good 45 minutes together each day.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Of like actual time, and that's if you know the grandbaby's not here, or if we don't have a house full of friends, or if this and that and the other yeah.
Speaker 2:And so I was like, okay, that's actually very eye opening. So I which made me be even more mindful of like I'm going to get everything at work done, that I need to do at work and leave it at work I don't bring like anymore. I did in the beginning when I first became a teacher but, like long story short, I make sure that I don't bring stuff home that takes even more time from you when I get to literally be with you. But that took a really good, like really hard look of how are we spending our time.
Speaker 1:Now husbands out there, this is not just a wife. This is not just a wife exercise. This is a wife and husband together exercise. Sit down and do this. This gives you a reason to spend some time together. Sit down and do it together Wherever you're at at home, whatever, at what time of day. Once you get the kids down, it's quiet for a minute. Yeah, map this. This is very, very important that you figure out where your time is going now, yeah, and then, once you do that, you start looking for the areas where you can improve. Yeah, like, where can we maximize that time? Is it riding with the kids? Maybe I'm riding with and we're in the car. Maybe, as a spouse, you don't look at Instagram. You say I'm going to put my phone in the cup holder. That's what.
Speaker 2:I was going to say we don't have all the answers, but I can give you one big suggestion, and you're the one that brought this to my attention, and I got really sassy with you about it for the first couple of months because I didn't want—you're not the boss of me, but—i mean you are. But it's okay, don't say that You're the leader of our family. But you brought something in my mind. I'm like I'm sitting still, I don't have to do anything, but just sit here and I can look at social media. Meanwhile you're driving us to wherever it was and you were thinking, oh, I am sitting here and I have time with just her, because most of the time, if the kids were with us, they were not paying attention to what we were doing. And so you said you know, can you please work on that habit of not being on your?
Speaker 1:phone. No, I think the first way I started is we were getting there and I was like it has been so fun spending time with you and your phone on this trip.
Speaker 2:I was trying to say it nicer.
Speaker 1:And you just looked at me.
Speaker 2:I was kind of ticked but I was going to say nicer and you just looked at me, I was kind of ticked but I was just like that's why I got sassy about it. But I was trying to be very nice about it just then and paint a prettier picture.
Speaker 1:I'm just trying to be real. Okay, fine, I was going to be real.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were not nice about it the first time you said it.
Speaker 1:I wasn't because I was ticked off.
Speaker 2:I'm like I'm driving, for me to drive. It's true. Those are both true statements.
Speaker 1:So here's where we're at. So, again, this is not a we're going to unpack and we're going to give you answers. The tool I'm going to give you and the thing I'm going to say that I really, really want you guys to do as a couple is, whether you've been married for five minutes or 15 years, map out where your time's going and have a conversation. Yeah, start the conversation around this.
Speaker 2:And don't be sassy how we spend our time.
Speaker 1:And try not to make passive-aggressive, sassy comments. I mean, I'm the king of that, but I'm trying not to be. So that's it. That's kind of in a nutshell, because the clock is ticking, and it is ticking right now, and so, um, wherever you're at, maybe wherever you get to, um, whatever you're doing maybe not not while you're driving, but just text your significant other and just say I love you and I want to have a conversation about our time, how do we spend our time and then just you can start start this conversation, that simple Yep, and then just see where it goes.
Speaker 1:So we're going to do something really, really fun, real quick, because we're supposed to do it at the beginning but we don't do it at the end. We're going to do a it's just random questions Question time, just question time. Fun kind fan, a brilliantly dumb bob does sports. Those guys, bobby fairways, uh, joy, coca, all those guys I mean I love fat bread, all those guys love them. Um, and so they do like buy and sell. They do a bunch of fun stuff on the podcast. But it made me think I was like we need something fun on our podcast. So we're just gonna do random question time.
Speaker 2:So I forgot what we said earlier, so here's mine no, the random.
Speaker 1:Okay, you go ahead, and then I'll remember the random question.
Speaker 2:Tacos hard shell or soft shell?
Speaker 3:Oh soft.
Speaker 2:Every time, no matter what.
Speaker 3:Every time, no matter what.
Speaker 1:Unless it's a cheesy cookie to crunch from Taco Bell. Then it's both Flour over corn.
Speaker 2:Okay, I mean, I'll eat corn, but flour is where it's at Mine is based on the meat that's inside of it, because if it's like shredded chicken, it's always more like there's more sauce, and so it needs a crunchy taco shell because it bleeds through the soft one.
Speaker 1:It just runs out the ends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it breaks it and falls apart everywhere. Ground beef is either or.
Speaker 1:No, I'm crunchy all the way, every time, every single time. I like the crunch.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 1:And I like eating like you.
Speaker 2:Take one bite off the back corner but you have to go to the other side.
Speaker 1:No, then you get off the top and then you go back to the bottom. You work your way up and back and forth, so it's top, bottom, top, bottom, top, bottom.
Speaker 3:But then you get uneven bites. You do Because like the top bites, like nothing but lettuce.
Speaker 1:The top you get a lot of lettuce and cheese and other stuff, and then on the bottom you go back to just straight meat and taco and you go back up to some lettuce and so you mix it all in there together.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So my question is are you a violent, loud throw-upper when you throw up, or are you really quiet when you puke?
Speaker 2:Wow, I'm quiet and I cry every time.
Speaker 1:Like emotionally cry.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Like your eyes don't water like my eyes don't water, it's not like your eyes just water up.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. It hurts my feelings. I don't throw up very often. It makes me sad.
Speaker 3:It hurts your feelings. It does. Your feelings are hurting, you're throwing up, it makes me sad because it doesn't happen. Very often I cry every time your own body hurt your own feelings.
Speaker 1:Yes, it makes me sad. I am extremely loud, like out of the nose out of the oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I can't help it. It's like you, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:It starts and feels like in my toes. It's like your body's compulsing all that. It's like my ribs hurt, my stomach hurts.
Speaker 2:It's like a— but you do, you yell.
Speaker 3:I have literally tried to not be loud and it's like impossible to not be loud.
Speaker 2:I've tried to not cry, but it's not possible. I cry every time.
Speaker 3:That's so new. I've never heard of anybody.
Speaker 2:It hurts my heart.
Speaker 1:Dude, after you throw up and you get that cold washcloth and you wipe your face off. That's like beautiful, it's so refreshing.
Speaker 2:Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 3:We're talking about the nap afterwards, like if you're going to sleep Anyway, okay.
Speaker 2:I was just trying to wrap y'all up.
Speaker 1:What a beautiful way for a random conversation or just question time, question time. So thanks for joining us. Make sure to like, subscribe, share the podcast. Oh my, but thanks for joining us tonight. Love you guys. Anything to say before we go?
Speaker 2:No, sorry, we talked about throw up.
Speaker 1:All right, go Dawgs, see you later. Bye, bye, see you later.
