Baggage Claim
Baggage Claim is a space for blended families, marriage, and friendship.
Here, we dive into real-life conversations about the ups and downs of relationships, from navigating second marriages to unpacking the baggage we all bring. Hosted by Greg and Jessica, who both have rich experiences with love, loss, and family, this community is about sharing stories, learning together, and growing stronger as couples and individuals. Grab a drink and join us as we unpack, laugh, and claim our baggage—one conversation at a time
Baggage Claim
Refuel Here: How Small Habits Keep Love Running Long (part 2 with Mason )
A ballpark hot dog, a Costco food court run, and a 10 p.m. stress walk might seem like throwaway moments—until they become the blueprint for how we stay close, present, and sane. We invited our friend Mason back for a guys-only mic takeover to talk about the simple, repeatable choices that keep love running long: creating margin, communicating needs without guilt, and choosing real refueling over easy numbing.
We compare marriage to an endurance race with aid stations you can’t afford to skip. Mason shares how he and his wife protect each other’s rhythms—her early gym routine, his flexible runs—and why a shared calendar beats simmering resentment. We get honest about the addictive escape in our pockets, and how quiet, movement, and nature restore what scrolling never will. Expect practical ideas you can use tonight: kid-free pockets that don’t cost much, errand dates that turn you back into teammates, and tiny rituals that keep connection warm even when life is loud.
There’s also a mindset shift that changes everything: take the first step. Don’t wait for the dashboard light to become a breakdown. Book the sitter. Protect the morning. Walk the block. Listen without fixing when there’s no easy answer. And if planning feels stiff, think gentle guardrails—enough structure to prevent drift, not enough to choke the spark. Along the way we talk communication, unmet expectations, brotherhood and accountability, and why “choose fuel, not numb” might be the most important rule for modern relationships.
If this resonates, share it with a friend who needs a nudge, subscribe for more real talk on marriage and family, and leave a quick review to help others find the show. What’s one small step you’ll take this week to refuel your relationship?
Hey guys, what's up? I'm Greg. I hope you guys are ready to unpack and get into some good conversations today.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage Claim. Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_02:Welcome back to Baggage Claim. If your first time here, thank you so much for joining us. If you've been here through all 30, 31 episodes, thank you so much, and welcome back. We are in part two with Mason uh Rosal as our guest. If you didn't catch that, go back and listen to the other episode. You can get a little bit about uh Mason. He is a relationship guru of Sugar Hill, Georgia. Like he is the man. So if you're in Sugar Hill, you need relationship advice. Very narrow market of relationship advice. Hit him up because he's the man. And he's also in you know in some um local politics, so he's really good at that. But anyway, before we get uh jump in too far, we have um, you know, we just do some fun random questions uh to jump into it. Wherever you're at, grab that drink, pull up to the table with us, uh enjoy whatever that may be, and uh just uh jump into some fun conversations. We're talking about relationships and marriage, and this is just guy night. So Cheers to that. Yeah. The ladies gave us the microphones and said, have at it. So this is a one and done. We'll never get this opportunity. This is probably the last time that's ever happened. So enjoy this. Uh listen to this episode and take it all in like a big drink of water, because this is probably all you're getting. So all right. So my question is uh it's kind of um during this season, um are you a hot dog kind of guy or a brat kind of guy? Are you a hot dog or brat? And if it is a brat, is it certain is a certain kind of hot dog or a certain brat? Which kind? What do you got?
SPEAKER_01:Man, what a great question. So um uh as I mentioned in the last uh last episode, you know, dad of four kids, right? So um I am a unashamed huge fanboy of Costco hot dogs. Ooh, Costco hot dogs. And so with the insane amount and cost that it takes to raise children in 2025, that$1.49.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, bro, that's not as hard. It doesn't make her rather than$1.49.
SPEAKER_01:So when you're having a bad day, I mean, there are times, Greg, where I'll just say, sweetheart, I'm taking the kids, and like I'll send her a picture. And there we are in Costco, just crushing those hot dogs. You can feed a family of six for 10 bucks, Greg.
SPEAKER_02:So you're like two of those dogs, boys. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So if I'm feeling good and fancy, I love grill and brats like any other good suburban dad. I mean, it's that's hard to beat. Yeah. But a Costco, a Kirkland finest, Costco hot dog. There you go. That's my go-to. What about you, man? What are you what's your go-to?
SPEAKER_02:It's uh man, there's a there's a certain kind of hot dog, and I just for the life of me, it just left me. Um there you buy them in the grocery store, and it's a yellow packet, I think I can't remember what it is, but there's only five in a pack. Oh, you're fancy. They're restaurant style.
SPEAKER_03:Dude, when you grill those, there's not there's not a bad thing. Probably like some all Angus beef type. Yeah, probably.
SPEAKER_01:So it's just it's the quality of the meat that makes it. Yeah, it's really, really good.
SPEAKER_02:If you buy those that are red, you know, solid red, light dyed red, you're like, bro, don't eat that. I don't care even if you put it on the grill. Still don't eat that, man.
SPEAKER_01:I'm the oldest of five. I always joke I've got white trash taste. So like I I'll eat pretty much any hot dog, but I want to try your fancy five five hot dog and hot dog.
SPEAKER_02:Oh man, I'll have to I don't have my phone around, I have to Google it. Um man. What you would eat the little uh vina sausage, you're a vinyl sausage cow. Would you eat those? Dude, Thomas ate his weight in those when he was young.
SPEAKER_01:Like, I feel like that's the second cousin to spam.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it's a relative. It's definitely a relative or the uh canned corned beef cow spam is what it is. It's like it's a what?
SPEAKER_03:Stepchild for a stepchild of if you play your cards right, and you can return it to a vanished.
SPEAKER_01:Dreams do come true.
SPEAKER_03:How about you, Michael? So for me, the hot dog thing is kind of like the ballpark hot dog. Like it's gotta be wrapped up in tinfull and like the moisture from the hot dog's gotta soak into the buns. My mouth is literally walking. So that's like the hot dog for me. Um, but other than that, it's it's Brawwurst. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Dude, you go to truest parking at that hot dog.
SPEAKER_03:Oh man.
SPEAKER_02:That hot dog down there is just phenomenal.
SPEAKER_03:When I grill hot dogs at home, I will literally grill them and then put them in the bun and wrap them and put them in a cooler and let them sit for like 10 minutes before I like uh before it's dinner time.
SPEAKER_02:Thomas's wife, we almost almost had to kick her out of the family because I was grilling hot dogs and she goes, I don't want my grill, can you boil it? What? Oh yeah, it's exactly.
SPEAKER_01:So she's like a street cart hot dog.
SPEAKER_02:I was like, what do you want? Do you boil it? And she goes, No, I was like, I have a grill right here. I can grill it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, no, you I'd rather have it boiled. You gotta grill it. You gotta have it like at least a quarter percent black.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. If you're getting grill marks on it, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I've eaten a hot dog.
SPEAKER_01:It's a gas station hot dog in that time, right?
SPEAKER_02:It's been rolling. Dude, the best thing I ever had is my parents used to, they would buy and sell real estate. Well, they had this gas station they had bought and they were remodeling it. And I went in there and I was like, can I have the old hot dog roller? Oh. And she goes, Yeah, I have had it. Bro. I thought you could have, if I'd have won the lottery, I wouldn't have been even more happier. Oh my gosh. I put that thing and we used it until it broke. It literally just shut it down and quit working. I was like, dang it. That was good for the last time.
SPEAKER_03:So the question is, did you have hot dogs rolling on that thing like 24 seconds? On the weekend? Because I mean it's not even hot dog unless it's been rolling for like at least 24 minutes.
SPEAKER_01:Like behind the slides. Yeah. In college, I this is not nearly as cool, but I had one of those cereal dispensers, and I thought I had like a college guy especially in college. You can live on cold cereal here. So you just roll up to that puppy with your bow and just twist it. Lucky charm's coming out.
SPEAKER_04:That's beautiful.
SPEAKER_01:If I had the hot dog.
SPEAKER_03:Oh man. Never gonna graduate. Well, I got a follow-up question. Okay. On the hot dog. Oh, on the hot dog? What?
SPEAKER_01:Do you not use mayonnaise on your hot dog? Let's get you a mustard. That's it. I'm a pretty open-minded guy.
SPEAKER_02:I have chili, I'll put chili on there, I'll put cheese. You know what I like? You don't put anything on the bread? No. No. You put mayonnaise on the bread and then put a hot dog on there.
SPEAKER_01:We need to cook, we need to cook out and figure this out. I gotta be honest. Yeah, I checked this out.
SPEAKER_03:Ron Burgundy style, which is better.
SPEAKER_01:Um I I definitely prefer mayonnaise. I I think the follow-up question is like, do you have brand loyalty to manage mayonnaise? That's a very strong people who are mayonnaise people.
SPEAKER_02:That is a I don't eat a lot of mayonnaise. We don't I don't have a whole lot of mayonnaise. Jess eats it on a burger. I don't. Oh, I definitely eat it on a burger. Yeah, I don't eat a whole lot of mayonnaise. But if we do in our house, it's dukes and you can't have anything else. Yeah, I like Dukes.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, honestly, all the good brand names are good though.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, Dukes, Elmond, they're helmets. Yeah, they're all decent, but I mean Dukes, this is what her grandmother used, and so that's what we're doing.
SPEAKER_03:Jess is hardcore.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah. Yeah, she will not use anything in the middle of the case.
SPEAKER_03:If you were talking about making a pulse ball the other day, and I was like, what do you want mayonnaise use? She's like, Dukes? There's nothing else to use. Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking about? Like, they don't do they make something.
SPEAKER_01:That's some brand loyalty. She might have like a Dukes tattoo. You know, she could have tattooed. She probably hid that somewhere. I'd be like, what'd you get that? Have y'all have either of you ever done uh chips on your burgers or your hot dogs? I like doing that. I like the crunch. Yeah, the crunch is.
SPEAKER_02:Especially if it's the um sour cream.
SPEAKER_01:Oh come on, brother. Yeah. Sour cream?
SPEAKER_02:I've always just done plain chips. I've never went flavored. A classic.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like my culinary horizons are being expanded by my own.
SPEAKER_03:Peanut butter jelly and like a plain lace chip. Absolutely. Nothing is better with peanut butter jelly.
SPEAKER_01:I gotta go try this stuff out.
SPEAKER_03:I gotta go eat.
SPEAKER_01:I usually make my kids lunch. Like, Dad, what is this?
SPEAKER_02:Hey, producer Michael said, rock the world, so yeah, just try it. All right. We'll talk about it when you get home. We've got to get an update on that. That is like I feel like next episode you and Jets are just crunching P V J and C's. Yeah. One thing I realized though, like I was watching uh TikTok the other day and people were doing food reviews and they were eating the food while they're talking. I cannot, it I can't stand it. It drives me nuts. I'm like, don't eat, don't eat. I don't want to see you eat it. I don't know, but it just hit me. I was like, I just can't on. I don't want to watch you eat food. So I don't want to watch that. I don't know. Maybe it could be jealousy deep down in my heart. It could be. It could just be mad. It'd just be like, I want to be eating that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Going back to the hot dogs, I saw a reel just like two days ago about a grilled cheese hot dog.
SPEAKER_01:Oh.
SPEAKER_03:Go what? Cheese?
SPEAKER_01:The bun's grilled cheese? What it's like? Is the bun grilled? Yes. So what they do is they have to take the hot dog all day long.
SPEAKER_03:And they do basically do like cross-hatching on the hot dogs so that it like opens up and like splays out as you cook it. Yep. Um, but then they don't take a hot dog bun, they take a hoagie roll, butterfly it, and put butter on the grill.
SPEAKER_01:How butter you get? I know. This is ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03:Then they put it down, so you're basically like grilled cheesing the hoagie roll. Then they put like, they had like probably a pound worth of cheddar cheese on it, then put it back on the grill so that it melted into the bread. Then the well-grilled hot dog gets put in the hoagie roll, and then you eat that. Like it can't be held as like a heart attack on a in one meal. I like things like that.
SPEAKER_01:If I'm gonna die, I want to go out with a bank. Yeah, that's right. Enjoy it while you know it, you know? Why not? Good grill. You know what's funny about grilled cheese? My so I grew, I'm almost a five, and my mom cooked. She was the cook, right? The one and only thing I have any recollection of my dad, quote unquote, contributing in the kitchen was he can make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. And so, like, I What do you use on the bread?
SPEAKER_02:Did you use butter or mayo?
SPEAKER_01:Butter.
SPEAKER_02:Butter on the bread. You know, you can do you can do mayo.
SPEAKER_01:Apparently, you can put you can brush your teeth in mayo, you can like use it as milk in your cereal. My fault has like I said horizon is more used.
SPEAKER_02:The podcast is like a food podcast.
SPEAKER_01:Here's 45 uses for men, and it's like take notes, listeners.
SPEAKER_02:So all the women are like, oh, please help us. We're jets at. We need jets right now.
SPEAKER_01:We did much better in episode one. Sorry about that.
SPEAKER_02:But you put instead of the butter on the bread, you put mayo in Winnie Grilla. It's it actually. Again, I'm open to you. It's really good.
SPEAKER_01:No, no problems here. I would do it.
SPEAKER_02:We have the we have the air on too. So look at us. Eric can be a little bit more. Yeah. It really is. Have you guys heard that loud noise? That was our. We're really being efficient tonight, y'all. Yeah, we are. We are off the radio. All right, let's talk about a relationship. See how that goes. So in uh episode one or the one before this, not episode one, but the episode before this, we were talking about we actually did talk about relationships. Um and we were talking about marriage, but you you made this statement. You said that um you've realized that in order for you to be the most efficient, like you find what refuels you. Yeah. And when it refuels you, you that that helps you kind of be better at because we talk about here all the time. If you want to be the best uh husband or best um part of that relationship, be the healthiest version of it. 100%. And so I firmly believe that. So it's always the idea of like, okay, so find out what helps you get there. So for you, what is that? How did you find that?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And what does that look like on a on a weekly basis with four kids and a wife and a job?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, exactly. It's that that that chaotic trying to spin all the plates and running hoping that they don't they don't crash and burn. Um, you know, I I think for me, um, and you kind of you tease this out a little bit, but it's just that idea of like if you're gonna lead others or or you know, bring value to your marriage and to your parenting, it's like you gotta be able to lead yourself, right? And so um everybody's different, but I think um kind of knowing what the things are that like fill your bucket and making sure that like I like to run, for instance. And so I'll use kind of like a running analogy. When you do a long race, there are strategic aid stations along the way.
SPEAKER_04:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:And one of the biggest mistakes that I've made in running and in marriage is when you're feeling good and you're kind of going at a good clip, saying, Oh, I don't need to stop at this aid station. Right. Right. And then mile three, turns to mile six, turns to mile nine, you're cramping and feeling really bad for yourself and you know, boo hoo, that sort of thing. And so I think the same thing can happen is um when we get caught up in the busyness of um, and it can be good intention, right? We're um we're spending so much of our time trying to serve and elevate others. Our our wife, our kids, our boss, our customers, our, you know, our friends, all these relationships where you're pouring yourself out. If if you're not taking a refuel stop, um, that can be really detrimental, um leading to burnout, crashing and burning, just like that that lack of bandwidth you might have in your relationships, where it's like, why am I so short with my wife? Or why am I so short with my kids?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And for me, it was kind of learning the hard way that like I'm not doing a good job of like taking care of myself and doing those things that refuel me.
SPEAKER_02:So how do you how do you do those things on a weekly basis? Or do you are you still working on it?
SPEAKER_01:Or I would say I'm still working on it, but I I no longer view those things as nice to have. These are neat to have.
SPEAKER_02:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and so for me, um I'm definitely an extrovert. You know, having having relationships and investing in relationships with people that are not tied to my business and revenue or not tied to like my obligations, that's important.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and so you know, maybe it's uh like I love being outside, like you, like that's something we like common love that we share. And so it's realizing that like I have to create and protect margin in my weekly schedule, my daily schedule, my you know, weekly rhythm, whatever term you want to use.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So that if Greg calls me and says, Hey man, I'm gonna go hike this, you know, do you want to go with me and do that? That it's not completely impossible and out of the picture because I know that those are the things that fill up my bucket and kind of make me come alive.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:And if I'm doing those things, then I bring my best to my marriage with my wife. I bring my best to my parenting as a dad to my four kids, it carries over to work and that sort of thing. And so what I've done just practically speaking is making sure that I'm like prioritizing and protecting time on my calendar, have the margin, that I'm being proactive and doing those things that I've identified that help me to lower that pressure or that is that pressure release valve.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um and then also being aware of like kind of pacing out those aid stations. So it's it's great to say you did it, but if it's been two weeks, three weeks, four weeks since you've done something for yourself that fills your bucket, that should be probably a concern or something to be aware of. Right. Does that answer your question? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Do you um we always say probably the I we always say I think Jess and I are both on the same page and saying most I guess uh fractures in relationships happen around either two things, communication or unmet expectations. Uh whether it be at work, whether it be in marriage, whatever it is, usually that's when they fracture and things go sideways. So in those things you're saying for yourself. So you've communicated that with your wife, Brandy. She knows those things about you. So when you go to say, Hey, I need some time to go hike, or I need some time away. Have y'all had conversations around that?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And that's that is a great point. It's not enough for you to be like self-aware and say, like, I need this, but you your spouse needs to be aware of that too, so that it's it doesn't feel like a burden for them to support or carry the load for the family for you to do those things. Yeah. And so for Brandy, for instance, she is she she's the opposite of me. We we joked about that in the previous podcast. Yeah. But she's very regimented, very routine. She likes to have a plan, likes to follow that plan. And so for her, also as a morning person, as an introvert, having time every morning to start her day off at the gym has been really, really important. And it's not about the gym, but it's about that time of being able to say, I can start with some quiet, being around some people that like I know and I trust and like you know, know me on a deeper level. I can, you know, put my best foot forward here, I can feel good about myself because I've done a hard thing and kind of conquered that to start my day. And I've done it with routine over and over again. Whereas like for me, running is a great like decompression. But I don't care if it's six in the morning, six at night, at lunchtime, whatever, it's more so I just need to get it done. Right. And so for us in our marriage, we figured out that like we need to protect that time for her in the morning. But for me, there will be times where I'm like, hey, hey, babe, I I need to go for a run. Um and she was like, Yeah, I gotcha type thing. So again, to your question, it's great if I know it, but if I don't communicate it and we don't have clear expectations with one another, you're not where you want to be. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, 100%. I think that's an easy like Jess knows sometimes like uh my last job got got to a point where it was just extremely stressful. Yeah. And I was like, I just I need to go walk. And she knows that that's my decompression. And she was she we have life 360. So I have my phone in my pocket, headphones on, and I'm just listening to music and I'm just walking. When they say I know I'm three miles from the house, I'm over at the end. She's like, Wow, you really did need to walk. Yeah, and she's like, she texts me, my phone goes off, where are you going? I was like, Oh, I need to go. I was like, and look, she's you know, watching me on Life 360 to see, because it was 10 o'clock at night and I live in downtown Gainesville. So I mean it's not that dangerous of a place, but um, you know, it's just that we've communicated and know, just hey, I need some time to just I gotta get away and let my mind think, and uh, this is what I have to do to kind of refocus a little bit. So um because I'm usually not an alone guy, but there's sometimes where I need to, it's just good for me to be alone.
SPEAKER_01:At times, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And I think if you're not helped, if you're not okay being by yourself and being quiet in that, like turn your phone off sometimes just and just be quiet. It's it's a kind of a cool thing. Like I got in this habit one time where I would get in the truck and I would turn the music off, my phone or nothing, just sit in the truck and just it's just quiet. It's actually really nice sometimes. It's like, oh wow, look at that. It doesn't happen much when you got young kids. No. And so you're just like, well, you hear that?
unknown:It's quiet. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:It's been four years since you heard that sound. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, it's it again, too, it's that whole finding what you refuels you, finding what fills that tank for you so that you can be not so this is the problem with that though, is that if we're not careful in managing that, it becomes every and then we fight for that more than we like we we lose sight of, no, that's to refuel me so I'm a better husband, a better dad, a better world, and then it just becomes like just so much of like, nope, I just want to go do that, that's it. Right. Every every spare minute I have, I'm gonna go do that. And it's like, but why? Yeah. So it's it's interesting to find that balance and figure it out and know the reason behind why you're why you're doing it.
SPEAKER_01:So yeah, I I think the balance too is um and I look I this is I I've been guilty of this too. It's like, how do you how do you have accountability and clear expectations with your partner about what you need to kind of be the healthiest version of yourself, but not taking advantage to the point where you're escaping.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I think something that we do a poor job in just this point in time that we are in society is um I'm trying to get on my soapbox too much with this, but like just that idea of um we carry in our pockets, all of our pockets, a very quick and addictive escape. And you said the importance of quiet. I don't care if you're introverted, extrovert, I you know, purple, green, orange, yellow. Like everyone needs that.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and I think what happens is a lot of times instead of choosing the harder right, we settle for the easier wrong. Um, and the distraction is there. It's there, it's convenient, it's numbing, it's whatever. And so we use that as an escape as opposed to saying, like, with the way that I'm wired, with what I need, what are the things that truly like are an aid station for me that refuel me, not just numb me. You know what I'm saying? Because like if you're on a long run, and marriage is a long run, yeah. When you get to an aid station, you need good fuel, you need electrolytes, you need, you know, water, obviously, that sort of thing. You might need to stretch, whatever. Make sure your shoes are good, that sort of thing. I think in marriage, like the same thing. Like, you need to have those regular routine, like check-ins, those date nights. We talked about like a kid-free trip every once in a while. If you can do it and afford it, or you know, you can do some of the stuff on it. It can be a staycation at home, like get the get the friends or neighbors to watch the kids and have time. Yeah, excuse me.
SPEAKER_02:If you're saying I can't afford it, it's like you can do stuff really, really cheap, almost virtually free. Like figure it out, be creative.
SPEAKER_01:Well, exactly. And this kind of comes back to the idea we talked about in the last episode where your marriage is worthwhile. Yeah. But it's not you're not doing it wrong if it feels hard because it's worthwhile and it's uphill. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And so just like this long endurance race where it's like it's tough, it's taxing, there are like, you know, uphills or downhills, there's like all this other stuff. Like, it's a journey. But make sure when you go into those aid stations, you're going at it in a smart way. And you're actually refueling and not just filling up on junk to numb yourself. Or like, oh hey, I got here, my legs are killing me because I've run 20 miles. So I'm just gonna pop a bunch of you know, aspirin or whatever, and just like try or whatever, and just like numb myself. Yeah. And um, so yeah, I I I I think what you do matters. Communicating that to your spouse matters, and making sure too, we talked about in the first episode with like a healthy relationship kind of being that race to the back of the line. Right. Make sure that you're seeing how long has it has it been since my wife has been to an aid station? How long has it been since she's had that time and proactively doing the things so that not only she's able to do it, but she doesn't feel guilty for doing it.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I think when you got young kids, that second part can be really hard. Yes. Because it's like, yeah, I need it, but like I can't leave you with the kids. It's like, no, you can and you need to.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Those kids are you're right. Yeah. It is so hard, especially when like for her right now in this season of her life, she is staying home, she's the primary, like she's with them all the time. She has so hard.
SPEAKER_01:My opinion.
SPEAKER_02:So when she's not with them, she's feeling guilty going, oh, we should do that. We why don't we do that? I need to and it's like, no, no, no, no, I got it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, well, we may t we may tear the house down, but we'll be okay. Yes. You know, we'll figure it out when you get back.
SPEAKER_03:So, Mason, if I may interject, um you talk about this earlier in the previous episode. You talk about calendarizing, you're talking about all these things right now. Do you ever set out a game plan? Meaning, like when as a dude, like if I got a project I'm gonna build or something I'm working on, I'm gonna lay out a game plan. If I've got uh a new task at uh at work or when I'm going to a new job, like I'm laying out a game plan of what my goals are, what I'm going after, but most importantly, the steps that get me there. Do you ever do that with a relationship? I know we talked about the calendarizing. Yeah, but uh one, is that a weird way of looking at that? Because I know we're talking about a relationship. You don't want to uh take away the relational part of that and the personal side of it. But are there ways that you go about that so that you stay focused, you stay on track, and don't let kids' busyness take you away from that?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's such a good question, Michael. Um I would say that's something I don't do very well, just naturally, because I'm not a planner. And so if I could kind of go back in time, um I think I would do a better job being intentional about the direction that I was trying to head in. Because I think in probably the first, I don't know, let's say five years of our marriage, um, there were probably it's kind of I think my my progress or my journey was more of like the stove's hot, ouch, let me not touch the stove again. You know, and like going through iterations of that of like, ooh, wife not happy, me want to do a better job, not make your wife unhappy. Um, and um, as guys, I think we naturally like you talked about this at the beginning of this episode, but just that idea of like us being problem solvers, we're trying to problem solve and knowing like, was this like a problem that you want solved, or just like you want a companion in that journey? Right. Um but we compartmentalize things, and so we're like, here's a problem. So the solution needs to be in this box. Whereas I think our wives oftentimes, and I'm generalizing here, whoops, um, I'm definitely generalizing here, but there's a lot of things that are interconnected um with that. And so the idea of like setting a plan in place is is evolving for me. And I think I have slowly, my wife would probably say very slowly, um, gotten hopefully better at that, of being like proactive and um, you know, this is what I want my marriage to look like, this is where I want us to be, that sort of thing. But I mean, I I took the probably the dumb marriage advice that all of us got that was like happy wife, happy life when it started out. And it was very just like simple. So like it would literally be like, is she happy? I'm doing a good job. Is she not happy? I'm doing a bad job. I need to change something. Um, but yeah, I think um, and that's not an excuse. If you're a guy like me that's not good at planning, that doesn't mean we get a pass. It just means it's it's gonna be more of an uphill in that process. Um but I I think as you pursue your wife, hopefully, you learn some things. And as guys, as you know, as dumb as we can be sometimes, hopefully, as we go through those cycles, we learn also and say, you know, I don't want to touch that stuff again. Um, or I see I see how my actions or my short-sightedness and not thinking about how things are connected impacted my wife. And like I don't like that. So I hope that answers your question.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. I think it's yeah, that's that's good stuff. That's good advice. I think there's um it's like you said, there uh things are interconnected. Like I said with Jess today, we went outside, we just it's a beautiful, beautiful weather right here in Gainesville, Georgia, right now. It's yeah, and so we're just sitting outside, we got some music playing, and she's just uh downloading work. And there's a there's you know, she's just talking about everything. She goes, I'm sorry for word vomiting, like right now. And I'm like, No, no, no, it's okay. So I I want to know what's going on in her life because if I sense frustration or or shortness, I know that the source of that it may not be me. It's coming from somewhere else, yeah. Maybe something else right now. So it's almost listening to those things and trying to to figure it out. It's not always a problem to solve, but sometimes it's just to listen and just to take it in. Because I I can't solve that issue for her, you know, and she's like, I don't know what to do. And I was like, just keep moving forward. I don't I don't know, I don't have any advice for that. Like, I don't know. There's nothing to do.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um that's really hard. I I think that's really hard for us as dudes.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like, cause even just like you saying that, like I like I'm uncomfortable being like, yeah, what like what do you say in that? And like, and and maybe it's just like, yeah, I'm sorry that you're going through that. It's just weird. It's like we don't really have like words or framework for like, I don't at least have an idea or suggestion of like how to solve that.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:Um, so yeah, just being aware that's a blind spot for us, probably.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. And yeah, it goes back to us. We're talking about warning sounds in the one before. Like that's that, you know, that's it's maybe it's just a low air pressure in the tire. Just put some air in the tire. You know, maybe it's not, or maybe you're just like, I I don't, I don't know what that is. I don't know. I like I had uh Like I had one of these lights pop on my truck the other day and it was like four the brake light came on and the skid thing came on and some other light and I was like, I've never seen that before. What does that mean? I had no idea. So it was kind of, you know, it was interesting, figured out what it was. So um, yeah, well, it's uh marriage is not always a like, oh, we'll just fix that. That's easy. Let's just do that. Let's just do this. No, it's a it's a process. And you and as guys, we always say, Well, we're just I'm just not a good communicator, so you just gotta have to figure it out. Like, and I'm like, that's that's a lame excuse and it doesn't work. Like become a better communicator, yeah. So figure it out.
SPEAKER_01:And you know, as as guys, I mean everybody's like this. Like, we have a just God created need for community. And I think that's another thing where like we can mess up as guys sometimes and just be like, you know, I'm a lone wolf and I do this whole thing. Like I've gotten a lot from like having guys that I can trust that I know that like are kind of in my tribe, um, that I can say, like, hey man, like I'm I fumbled the ball in this. And even sometimes it's just like, oh yeah, me too. And it's like, oh, okay, we all suck. Yeah, yeah. Okay, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_02:I'm not by myself.
SPEAKER_01:But but just like kind of talking through that and having that community. And so, like, we we didn't talk about that much in the the previous conversation, but like I I deeply believe we weren't meant to do this thing alone. No, I agree. And just how there can be a community, you know, kind of that that micro of the family, also figuring out guys that provide, you know, sound, sound advice and not just like we're all complaining about our wives, that's not good. That's not helpful. But like some sound advice and and encouragement, I think it's been good for me.
SPEAKER_02:So we always like to have a a section on baggage chain where we always just say, hey, we unpack. Like we all got baggage. Yep. I don't care who you are, where you're at, where you come from, you got baggage. Uh, you either choose to unpack it or you choose to not. Um, so many times as guys, we don't unpack our bags and we don't uh look at those things of how we act, how we do things, how we because if we feel like for some reason it makes us less of a man, which is a ridiculous statement. Um, but at the same time, being the best version of yourself, sometimes you gotta unpack those things. So that being said, unpack. I mean, you got uh you you got folks all over the place, all over the United States. I mean, heck all over the world, there's some people listening, no matter where you're at. You have an opportunity to jump up on your soapbox and say the one thing about marriage. Hey, give me one, uh, maybe two things. It can be just one, uh, on your soapbox of hey, unpack here's one thing you do this week, uh, marriage. Like, this is it. This is my this is my chance.
SPEAKER_01:Ma'am, what would it be? That that's a big question. Um it is, yes. Yeah, that's quite the lead up. Um I would say maybe just don't be afraid to like take the lead. Like be the one that takes that first step.
SPEAKER_02:So um I was trying to say unpack that a little bit, that statement, if you don't mind.
SPEAKER_01:I don't I don't think any of us are like blind to the fact that there are always gonna be some you know light on the dashboard that's flashing. And we have a choice as far as do we kind of ignore it or delay our response to it, or do we address it? And we all know this is as guys, and I think like a big thing, like you know, we're gonna be uncomfortable, we're gonna like, you know, embrace the suck and that sort of thing. It's like, well, put your money where your mouth is. Like this is this is a really good opportunity for us, I think, to be the ones that take the lead here and say, okay, I see something that tells me that this may be a concern, or just I don't know what this really means. Right. Instead of just like, well, let's just let it play out. Yeah, maybe it's I'm gonna take the lead and I'm gonna schedule, I'm gonna figure out a babysitter, whether it's, you know, my mom, my mother-in-law, a friend, you know, high school or whatever, to watch the kids so that my wife and I can have time and just spend some time to like, you know, reconnect or whatever like that. Um, you know, maybe it's maybe it's time where it's like, man, it's been a long time since I've like taken a day off from work. Um, so that we can do stuff, even if it's just running errands and things that we have to do, but doing it together. Right. So that we're not so independent ships passing the night. You know, I don't know. But I would say that's that's a practical encouragement. Um, you're not alone. We're doing this together and we're all trying to figure this thing out. Yeah. But let's not wait till the light, till all the tires blow up, or that we have that uncomfortable conversation where it's like we've talked about this, you know, 50 times, or I can't believe you haven't seen, or like whatever. It's like, let's kind of cut it off at, you know, at the pass and say, hey, Friday night we're gonna go out, or let's, you know, I I went ahead, we don't have anything planned next Friday, but I took Friday off and we're gonna spend time, you know, getting stuff done that we've you know meant to do and and just kind of doing it together.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um nice. So I don't know. That's yeah, hit me with a hard question. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That's a good one. Because I mean, if you if you and so many guys do this, if we ignore the things and just say the whole idea, well, let's see how it plays out. Yeah. Um, you do that with your car. If the temperature gauge uh maxes out, engine lots come on, you're just gonna be like, I see how this plays out. I can tell you how it's gonna play out. The engine's gonna blow, yeah. You're gonna lose your car. It's gonna cost you a lot of money to fix it.
SPEAKER_01:But that's the difference. In the car, it costs you a lot of money to fix it.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:This is way more this is.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it's way more costly.
SPEAKER_01:We're guys like, let's throw money at the problem. Like you can't do that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, you can't throw enough money at this. Yeah. And so it's just like I I think that's great advice, just to basically take the first step.
SPEAKER_01:Like be the lead and take the first step, uh, no matter how comfortable that may be. Or how small the step is. Like yeah. I I I really I'm a believer like something's better than nothing. Right. You know, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so just yeah, and I agree with you. I think it could be something as simple as let's go run errands together. Like it doesn't have to be a we're taking a weekend trip away somewhere. No, uh you know, it's like we're just we're just gonna start small and see what happens.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um, yeah, just to chase her, pursue her. Um, she's worth it. So well, well, I feel like, I mean, we've we've had a lot of fun. We talked about a lot of really fun stuff. This first, if you listen to the first this episode, you got a lot of food things you need to go try.
SPEAKER_01:Um kids to marriage to mayonnaise and hot dogs.
SPEAKER_02:We name it, we covered it. So yeah, this might be the last time guys get the mics without the ladies going. Yeah, but anyway, uh, thank you guys for for joining in and and listening with us. Um, if if your wife out there and you listen to this, you're like, oh Lord help us, uh send it to your husband, let him listen, uh, hopefully get something out of it.
SPEAKER_01:Um at least you're not as dumb as these guys. Yeah. Look at these two guys.
SPEAKER_02:You're doing great, honey. Not a boy. Yeah, you're doing great. So, but thank you for joining uh baggage claim tonight and joining the table with us for some fun conversation and hopefully some helpful conversation. And Mason, thanks for taking time out of your crazy uh life. Just uh, I mean fun crazy, um, but just to come sit with us and have some conversation tonight. So thanks for having me. I had a blast. Awesome. Thanks, man. And uh talk to you guys later. Have a good one. Go dough.
