Baggage Claim
Baggage Claim is a space for blended families, marriage, and friendship.
Here, we dive into real-life conversations about the ups and downs of relationships, from navigating second marriages to unpacking the baggage we all bring. Hosted by Greg and Jessica, who both have rich experiences with love, loss, and family, this community is about sharing stories, learning together, and growing stronger as couples and individuals. Grab a drink and join us as we unpack, laugh, and claim our baggage—one conversation at a time
Baggage Claim
Negotiating Traditions: Blended Families, Busy Calendars, and Making New Memories
What if the date didn’t define the holiday—and the people did? We pull back the curtain on how we plan a joyful season across multiple homes, in‑laws, adult kids, new babies, and work schedules without burning out or blowing up traditions that still matter. From the “when can we decorate?” debate to the reality of Christmas mornings that look different than they used to, we share the mindset shifts and practical tools that keep peace at the center.
You’ll hear how a color‑coded shared calendar became our sanity saver, why negotiating is healthier than demanding, and the mantra that changed everything: experience over exact dates. We talk about blended family dynamics, alternating Christmas Eve and morning, and what to do when someone has to work the holiday. We also get into the heart stuff—grieving the loss of old rituals, embracing new ones (hello, Fiesta Thanksgiving), and choosing one tradition each to protect “reasonably” so the plan serves the people, not the other way around.
Along the way, we offer concrete ideas you can use this week: early planning with all households, clear decline scripts, margin for travel and rest, and small automations that lower friction (smart plugs for lights, anyone?). We revisit simple, meaningful rituals—pajamas and a new game, hot‑chocolate light drives, classic movies—that flex with changing seasons and still deliver connection. If you’re juggling blended family holidays, co‑parenting schedules, or just a crowded calendar, this is your friendly blueprint for a calmer, kinder, more intentional season.
If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who’s planning three Thanksgivings, and leave a review to help more families find practical peace during the holidays. Then tell us: which tradition will you keep—and which will you evolve this year?
Hey guys, what's up? I'm Greg. I hope you guys are ready to unpack and get into some good conversations today.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage Claim. Thank you for joining us.
SPEAKER_01:What's up, Baggage Claim? How are you guys doing today? Thank you so much for joining us. If this is your first time here, thanks for being here. If you're a regular attender, you know the drill. Grab your favorite drink, pull up to the table. If it's in the morning, coffee, it's afternoon, whatever that favorite drink is, could be, uh could be a glass of water or it could be a tea or whatever else you need it to be. But just pull on up to the table. Only in the South. So pull up to the table with us and have some conversations. Baggage Claim is a place where we talk about relationships, community, and all those fun things in between. So thanks for joining us tonight. And we're going to jump into some of the things that we're going to do.
SPEAKER_03:Let me go and give a disclaimer. If I cough, it's it's just gonna have to be okay. Because it just is happening.
SPEAKER_01:And it is okay.
SPEAKER_03:It's gonna be okay. It is okay. But sometimes a cough is gonna cough.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it is. And so, yeah, I agree. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So I just want to say I'm sorry ahead of time. I'm not trying to be easy to be.
SPEAKER_01:You coughed on the last episode, too.
SPEAKER_03:I know. This cough won't go away.
SPEAKER_01:A couple weeks ago. So we filmed it.
SPEAKER_03:It's my constant companion.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. All right. There we go.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:So uh are we ready for it?
SPEAKER_03:Question. Okay. Mine is absolutely absurd. And I'm I'm gonna laugh the whole time I try to say it because I'm already trying to laugh. Okay, I saw it on TikTok. Okay, you're ready.
SPEAKER_01:Oh Lord. Oh boy. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_03:Would you rather would you rather replace your ears with two tiny hands that clap every time you get excited? Or have when you sneeze, pretzel rods shoot out of your nose.
unknown:Pretzel rods.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, time on. I got a question about this ear thing. Like, does it mean you can't hear?
SPEAKER_03:No, you can still hear. There's still ears.
SPEAKER_00:But they're just ears just kind of like cup as ears. They clap.
SPEAKER_03:Two little pairs of hands on the side of your head.
SPEAKER_00:When you get excited.
SPEAKER_03:And they're like on both sides. Or when you sneeze, pretzel rods fly out.
SPEAKER_01:Ooh, does it hurt when the pretzel? I'm gonna go with the sneeze because I don't sneeze that much, and I think having another set of hands on my head would be weird.
SPEAKER_03:Two sets. One and one other.
SPEAKER_00:I would go with pretzels unless the pretzel like hurts. Right.
SPEAKER_03:I would go with pretzels also because I teach first grade, so I get excited about a lot of stuff all day long.
SPEAKER_00:That might help be excited though.
SPEAKER_03:That's true. But that would be a lot of little flappy hands all day. Is that not the most ridiculous question ever to be?
SPEAKER_01:That is extremely ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00:All right, so I got a question. Okay. Okay. How early is too early to start decorating for Christmas?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, we have had that conversation so many times in our family.
SPEAKER_00:I know. And is it like is it like unacceptable or just like not okay?
SPEAKER_01:There's stuff popping up on my for you page now for Christmas. Like, people are putting up Christmas now. Yeah, people started putting up Christmas shoes.
SPEAKER_03:Like, I had did you see? It was on probably not, but it was on my for you page on TikTok. Um, Dollar General has a whole Dolly Parton Christmas line that they're carrying.
SPEAKER_00:I did not see that.
SPEAKER_03:Ooh, I'm excited. I gotta go to Dollar General. Dollar General.
SPEAKER_00:People are already selling Christmas stuff though.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Really? Where?
SPEAKER_03:Everywhere. Hobby Lobby already has Christmas.
SPEAKER_00:Hobby Lobby's like decked out.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah, but they could they start like 50% off Christmas, like three weeks before Christmas.
SPEAKER_03:That's our favorite time to upgrade some or some of our stuff.
SPEAKER_01:Getting that wrong.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Well, that was actually a debate in our family for a lot of years because we wanted to decorate for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. Is where we originally started.
SPEAKER_02:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:But we would always go out of town on Thanksgiving with my dad for a few days. And so that felt like it was delaying the Christmas season. But it also Pop is what they call my dad. Pop's trip was a Christmas kickoff. And so it was like, okay, do we want to decorate before Thanksgiving so that when we come home from the Christmas kickoff, it'll already be Christmas at our house.
SPEAKER_01:So then it just was like I'm a I'm a after Thanksgiving. Have Thanksgiving because I think Thanksgiving deserves its own time. Yes. Like don't be stealing from it. Uh if you just love lights that much, then put some Thanksgiving lights up. Get a few minutes.
SPEAKER_03:Don't give me ideas. Um We're about to have some Thanksgiving lights, everybody.
SPEAKER_01:You have a snow tree. Like when we take down the Christmas trees, you leave these little white trees on the I redecorate with silver quote unquote Christmas trees.
SPEAKER_03:Trees. They're Christmas trees. They're silver Christmas trees. It's winter and snow trees.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So I'm not ready to let go.
SPEAKER_01:But I say after Thanksgiving. You guys learn to let it go. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:That's what Elsa says to be.
SPEAKER_00:I think there was, yeah, there was a lot of life lesson in that one. Yeah. It's about an hour and a half long. So how about you? What are you at? I'm back and forth. I'm normally always an after Thanksgiving guy. Yeah. But one, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving at my house. It's normally like at my brother's house or parents' house. Right. But I also, and I do say this because I lead worship, so like I'm already listening to like Christmas music prepping and preparing.
SPEAKER_03:Way ahead of time, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And this it feels weird, but I'm not gonna lie, this year I kind of gotten in in the Christmas spirit. Ooh, so you're going early. I'm I'm honestly about ready to get a Christmas tree. I like till you gotta wait until Halloween. Last year though, I'm like ready to start decorating stockings out.
SPEAKER_03:I know, right? We decorated the week before Thanksgiving, but we were really excited about everything last year because we our first grandbaby. It was her first Christmas, even though she was she was just literally two and a half months old. But we were so excited for everything.
SPEAKER_01:I like I like having the Christmas slice though because you turn them on like at night when you're just watching TV or chilling. Or just relaxing. It's just always nice.
SPEAKER_03:We have a few Christmas trees. Not we well, the house we lived in before this house, um, I had eight Christmas trees.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, like a whole size?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Well, yeah, actually, yeah. It was a lot over the top.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I mean, when you start unplugging, I mean I've made with one night, it takes forever. Forever, like plugging every hour to process.
SPEAKER_03:I haven't told you yet, but I want to add a Christmas tree this year.
SPEAKER_00:I'm sure you do.
SPEAKER_03:It's Lulu's tree.
SPEAKER_00:Which you know you can get Wi-Fi enabled power plugs for like little or nothing, like a pack of two or three for ten bucks. Yeah, but the push of a button and it turns all the lights off. Yeah, maybe doing that. Or set it up on a schedule, that's what I do, so that they turn on at like 6 a.m. so that I wake up to Christmas lights.
SPEAKER_01:That's where you get the feels going. Because I leave my I leave our Christmas lights on a lot on the tree.
SPEAKER_03:And we have one in our bedroom you like to leave on all the time. And I can't because it's like I have a spotlight in my eye holes.
SPEAKER_01:I can sleep with the Christmas lights on. So you can turn the lights on, I'll sleep. No.
SPEAKER_00:Speaking of Christmas and wintry wondery lands. Can uh can I just acknowledge the fact that we get to have the AC on now? Yeah. It's okay. So we're 30 plus 34.
SPEAKER_03:Today's 34.
SPEAKER_00:I think this one yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I'm point pointing at the number that I wrote.
unknown:Good deal.
SPEAKER_01:Thirty-four episodes in, and we just realized we could leave the air on because we have a when you do the editing, you take out the background noise, which is But I never heard it covered the AC.
SPEAKER_00:And last episode we left it on by accident.
SPEAKER_02:I did.
SPEAKER_00:And then we turned it off because it gets hot in here. It gets really hot. Yeah, we've been sweating it out for three.
SPEAKER_03:We turned off the ceiling band and we turn off the air conditioner because we just knew that you guys could hear it. Um no.
SPEAKER_00:So now we're gonna record podcasts in comfort.
SPEAKER_03:We're not gonna air conditioner.
SPEAKER_01:Man, if we figure this out in 34, what are we gonna hit? When we hit 60, it's gonna be right. It's gonna be mind-blowing.
SPEAKER_03:Life-changing backup.
SPEAKER_01:Well, that's a great it's it's a great transition from talking about um holidays. Holidays and Christmas trees into what we're talking about. And because we are right on the edge of the holiday season. So when this episode comes out, it'll probably be close to right at uh Halloween or the week thereof or week at. So this is crazy time. If you have kids, if you have large families, even if you don't, even if you're newly married or you've been married for a long time.
SPEAKER_03:And if you're single, but you've got a lot of siblings who are married and you're trying to blend in with all that in your own family, that's a lot.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. When you yeah, there's just so much. Like and so everybody has these Everybody has traditions, everybody has these things they go through through the holidays, whether it's Thanksgiving, whether it's Christmas, whatever those may be. Everybody has these traditions and they just sometimes they're a little overboard with making sure that you stick with those traditions. Um and so we're gonna talk about scheduling uh with kids, with uh the chaos, the craziness. We we did this through blended family. Yeah. Um and then so we'll talk about that aspect, but also too, if you're just a family and you got lots of things, there's this is something that you may find something in. So there's something for everybody a little bit in this. So we're talking about scheduling and traditions and the whole idea uh through the holidays. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So one thing I learned right off the bat that I was not good at, that it's about negotiating.
SPEAKER_02:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:And that you I had to learn I could not have everything I wanted.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Well, there's there's one thing. Um I was talking to a guy one time about we're talking about blended family, and he asked me, he goes, if you could give me one piece of advice on blended, like like leading or being a part of a blended family, then I would say don't be selfish, it's not about you.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like if you can grab that concept of you you're it's not about you, then you're gonna be just fine. But yeah, it is a negotiating. Because when you start, I mean, every especially if you're new into it. If you've been into it for a while, here's here's the thing. It doesn't matter if you've been in like your traditions for 10 years, things change. Like I'm so sorry. You have to quit smoking.
SPEAKER_03:Right, Peck. I don't smoke everybody.
SPEAKER_01:I'm kidding, she doesn't. But if you've been in those traditions, times change, things change. Like kids grow up. Yeah, kids move off to college, they come back from college, they get married, they have their own families. There's so many.
SPEAKER_03:And when they get married, they have to fit figure out the other the in-law part. Like it's just a lot of moving parts, especially as kids get older. Yes. Um but uh our past experiences, like when we put this whole circus together, um they weren't all bad and they weren't all good. But one thing that was actually very helpful, um, your ex-wife would do a um, it was like a Google calendar. Yep. Um it was color-coded um for what her family, what they were doing with her, and then she would ask us for things that we were doing, and then it would have their like Callie and Cody's like technical days of where we were switching, because we'd have we would have to take turns with Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, and it would alternate each year. Um and that negotiating part came in there.
SPEAKER_01:Well, yeah, because there were certain things we wanted to try to do. We were trying to activities we wanted to do with the kids. And so understanding too, because Thomas, I mean, you're you're from a a family. Um TJ's family too.
SPEAKER_03:We still would do stuff with them. Yes and then Thomas and Aaron would have plans with his second marriage.
SPEAKER_01:So your mom wanted to, then your dad and your stepmom wanted to do something.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so just me all by myself, I'm pleasing three parents, three sets of parents. TJ's mom, who's still very much in our life now and was very much then, my dad and stepmother, and then my mother. That just me by myself. Then you add in your family.
SPEAKER_02:Yep.
SPEAKER_03:And then we would have things with your immediate family, but then we also had several things with your extended family, too. That was just a lot of just me and you parts. And then you add in for Callie and Cody doing all the stuff with your ex-wife's family. Like that was just that was a lot.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And our kid our kids kind of we we had the schedule and we would print that out and put it literally on everything.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Um, because bless our hearts. They they didn't know if they were coming or going, especially like during the in general, yes. It was a very predic predictable schedule. But during the holidays, it just got wacky.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. November and December were just crazy.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Um they were just always, always all over the place. So it's that whole negotiating, knowing like what are what do I what do we really want? What are the things we really, really want? What are the things that we're kind of willing to give on?
SPEAKER_03:And there were heartaches on a lot of those occasions, too. There would be things that we truly wanted them to be at. And when the other parent is not always willing to work around those things, that that's hard that hurts.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's hard. That's a hard it's hard to think of swallow. And because if you're not careful, you allow that. You get frustrated, you get upset, and you bring all that stuff into when you actually do the activity with them, or if you get to. Um it's not the kids' fault.
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_01:Um but I'm not saying like I'm sure there were times where we did things uh that didn't work out with her schedule, and she would get frustrated at us. So it goes back and forth. It does. Uh you it's it's literally a negotiation where you're just going, um, what do I'm willing to give home? What do I'm willing to stand on? Because if you're like, nope, I'm getting everything I want to do.
SPEAKER_03:It's not gonna work for anybody.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's just no, yeah, it's gonna blow up and because you have to also too keep in mind, and we try to, we try to remind ourselves, keep in mind the kids. Yes. Like Callie and Cody, Thomas and Aaron do all of this. Yeah, nobody asked for this.
SPEAKER_03:Right. None of the children and I mean you and I, none none of us asked for this. Right. So one thing we learned pretty early on, I wouldn't say that we learned it right away, but um, we learned that whatever the holiday is, it's as special as you make it.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Even if it's not on that specific day that you I have to have the kids that day. Okay, well, you you may not get to have them on Christmas Eve at three o'clock when you want them.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_03:So if you get them on December 22nd and you have them the whole day, well, that very well might be your Christmas.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And December 22nd's on Christmas this time.
SPEAKER_03:So hypothetically speaking.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:It's it's as special as you make it. The experience is the important part, not what day of the calendar it's on.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's that's huge to keep in mind. That's a good mantra for you as a parent to constantly tell yourself through the holiday uh this is about the experience. It's not about the day of the day when we're doing it. Like it's okay to, hey, these are the the the way things work, and you may have to change those around and figure out different times to have different things.
SPEAKER_03:I remember a few years ago, um, it was Christmas Eve, and our older two were married and with in-laws that on Christmas Eve. Um, Cody was with his mom, and Aaron Grace was with a boyfriend doing something for Christmas Eve, and it was you and I. We were like, hold on a minute. Wait.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:How how did this happen? Yeah. Why are we alone and we've got four kids and not a single one of them is here. It was weird.
SPEAKER_01:It was weird.
SPEAKER_03:It was emotional. We both cried, I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_01:Then we we broke up, we broke open a bottle of wine and watched old Christmas movies.
SPEAKER_03:Our black and white movies that we save some special days. We stay up way too late watching It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And sometimes if you give in, we watch White Christmas.
SPEAKER_01:I like brands. I like the newer miracle on 34th Street. I don't like the old one.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you don't like the old one.
SPEAKER_01:I like the newer one.
SPEAKER_03:But we watch a wonderful life. That's a non-negotiable on Christmas Eve, and we both cry every time.
SPEAKER_01:And we always watch our our traditions for that is we watch Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation. That's the first one. That's the very first thing. It's the first one every year. Yeah, we watch it after Thanksgiving. Yes. We watch that and then it kicks off.
SPEAKER_03:You remember that year when your sister hosted Thanksgiving and we watched it after Thanksgiving dinner and they projected it on the side of the house and we all watched it outside. It was out there.
SPEAKER_01:That was fun. That was really cool.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. But anyway, it's about the experience, not what day it is.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:That's a hard pill to swallow.
SPEAKER_01:It really is. It seems really when you say it here sitting in this room.
SPEAKER_03:It's like, yeah, of course.
SPEAKER_01:It's like, oh, why would you not? Like, that's so dumb. But dude, when you get in the like that that Christmas. Remember the Christmas morning we woke up and everybody was gone? Like, I think Aaron was working, Thomas was already married. Cody was off school. Callie was married.
SPEAKER_03:Aaron did have to work one Christmas morning, yes, at the dog place.
SPEAKER_01:We were there and we're just like, What do we do? I was like, do you many cookie breakfast? It was really, I was like, okay, we can't do it. Because when they were little, I was like, I don't know what to do. I think it's the first time we ever watched a Christmas parade.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Well, when they were little. When they were little bitty and growing up. You know, our family, we do cinnamon rolls. Used to, my dad and stepmom would bring cinnamon rolls to our house because they wanted to see Santa with our kids. I'm gonna cry talking about these sweet traditions. And so when the kids got a little bit bigger, and my brother had kids way after we had kids.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And so that, you know, obviously the focus shifted to Santa time with Emory and Easton. Um, but it was like cinnamon rolls is still our thing. That's what we do on Christmas morning, and nobody was there to have them.
SPEAKER_01:So we ate a whole bunch of cinnamon rolls. I mean, the kids showed up.
SPEAKER_03:It was more like brunch with the kids by the time Callie and Cody, like all the things. There's just so many moving parts.
SPEAKER_01:And the the crazy thing is though, like you have to keep in mind, like, when we talk about negotiating events, like it was it two, three years ago, it may have been three years ago. All our kids were grown. Like they are, I mean, it's probably two. I think Thomas and Miranda were dating or about to get married. Or I can't remember. But they wanted to have, they're like, let's not do a traditional Thanksgiving. Let's do a fiesta Thanksgiving. And I was like, what do you mean by that?
SPEAKER_03:It was three years ago, it was right before they got married.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, they're like, let's have tacos and nachos and taco bars and all kinds of, and we'll have margaritas or whatever, and we'll just have it. And I was like, okay, I guess it's our Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's kind of like the kids banded together before Yeah, they they came with a plan. They did, all of them. Yes. And we were like, okay, so we're gonna have a Thanksgiving fiesta, and it was a blast.
SPEAKER_01:We had so much fun.
SPEAKER_03:And so then it's kind of been like if we get to have our Thanksgiving here at our home, um, which we are this year, woo! Um, because Callie and Charles are coming up from Florida.
SPEAKER_02:That's right.
SPEAKER_03:But it's kind of like we intentionally don't do Thanksgiving food because they're gonna get their fill of it literally everywhere else.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, they eat Thanksgiving food. Like we figured it out. I think we ate like four or five Thanksgiving meals one time.
SPEAKER_03:It was a lot.
SPEAKER_01:I love dressing, but bruh. I'm done. I can't eat any more dressing.
SPEAKER_03:So one thing that is hard to keep in mind, and it's easy to say it looking back, but you have to keep in mind that things are gonna change even if you don't want them to.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, they will, yes.
SPEAKER_03:Because everything has a season. I mean, at one point we had a season where we had four little kids and going 5,000 places and it was busy, and Callie and Cody had to go twice as many places, and we were trying to keep up and go and do and drop off and pick up and at the same time trying to teach them to enjoy the season and you know, all the things. Um but that childhood's portion, there's a shelf life because it will end.
SPEAKER_02:Yep.
SPEAKER_03:And then you're gonna transition to another portion of life, whether it's like they move on to you know, getting married or college or whatever, everything is going to change.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um schedules change, times change.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um kids start getting jobs where I mean, where they have to work on holidays. So you're trying to figure out the thing.
SPEAKER_03:And now Thomas is a firefighter. Like, you know, thankfully he was home for Lucy's first Christmas last year, but this year he works on Christmas Day.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So they're gonna have to write a letter to Santa for Santa to come a day early just for Lucy.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And so also so that means that we are going to have Christmas morning a day early. So it's like you got you gotta go with the flow.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you just I think that's the thing, though. Like you sometimes you get so stuck in these traditions that you you love the tradition more than you love the experience with the people.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, that's a good one. Say that again. I you forgot what you said already.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I didn't forgot it.
SPEAKER_03:That sometimes you love the tradition more than you love the people that you're doing it with.
SPEAKER_01:Right. I mean, that was the whole reason you start the tradition, to make people come together for a certain reason to celebrate and have fun. And then we get so stuck that if everything is not perfect the way that tradition should go, we get torqued up when it's like, no, no, no, the look who you're with. Like that's the important part of it, I think, to keep in mind.
SPEAKER_00:Well, and one thing, and when we talk about this all the time when we're talking about leading teams, is we we see a great experience that we've had in the past, and we think that the recipe to get that back is to do the exact same things over and over again. So if it's well, if we didn't all meet at Granny's house, or if this group of cousins didn't come, or if this it's not gonna work out because it's not we didn't have the same recipe, quote unquote, to get that result. And it goes back to what y'all said earlier, it is what you make it.
SPEAKER_02:Uh-huh. Right.
SPEAKER_00:It's what you make it. So realize that what got you to that point before may not be the exact same thing that gets you to that point again. Yeah. It may be something entirely different. But again, don't let the traditions outweigh the people that you're experiencing.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, it's the same truth for marriage. Like when you're if you've been married longer than seven years, you've probably changed. You're you're probably not the same person you that you like.
SPEAKER_03:Your wife and realize you've been married long for one year. I mean, people change.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's like you change, you go through seasons, you learn to love each other through a different place at a different time. Like it it looks different. The same is true with any of this. Um so it's good to keep those things in mind. But also, too, like come up with some new traditions. Like something that kind of works.
SPEAKER_03:One way that we did that with developing a new tradition in our family was when the kids were little, we would Sorry, excuse me. Um we started doing a a Stone Mountain tradition when they were young. Um we would try to go early in December because we knew it was about to get crazy. And so we would choose a a day, and sometimes it was actually during their school break, and we would go spend the day at Stone Mountain, do all the Christmas stuff and the train ride and they started because our kids loved Christmas lights.
SPEAKER_01:So there were times where we would um there were nights where we would have the kids, all for the kids. We would load them in the car.
SPEAKER_03:After dinner, they would go get their showers, put their pajamas on.
SPEAKER_01:And we would go ride, look at Christmas lights.
SPEAKER_03:With hot chocolate.
SPEAKER_01:They needed hot chocolate. And so we would just ride around. There were lots of places that just had Christmas lights, and we would get teary out. We would just go do those things for for fun. And we did that like a couple of times because it's easy. You just ride around the car. Yeah. Um, looking at Christmas lights. And you know, certain subdivisions have lots of Christmas lights. Yeah, so you decided you just go check them out.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, then that's what led us to Stone Mountain. And then as they got bigger, and we had to wait a little bit because our youngest Aaron Grace has always been really small. And so we had to wait till she got big enough to ride rides, and we'd go to an amusement park, six flags that's near us, and they would always go overboard.
SPEAKER_01:The lights or Christmas were insane.
SPEAKER_03:Amazing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's really, really good.
SPEAKER_03:So that was something that we did.
SPEAKER_01:We did ride roller coasters and till you got sick. Yeah, I would usually get sick about the fourth or fifth upside-down roller coaster.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, in a row. Yeah. So that was one thing that we did, keeping in mind or trying to help ourselves keep in mind that things change, seasons change. Um, and like my dad, we mentioned my dad earlier. Um, the TJ passed away in September of 2010. And so that neck that following Thanksgiving right right away, my dad was like, let's start a new tradition. Let's I'm gonna me and uh my stepmom, uh, we're gonna take you and the kids to Cherokee, North Carolina. And we're just gonna have a few days after Thanksgiving to just relax. We would go to Santa Land little pitiful amusement park that's so cute. And so that was our tradition that we did two or three times, and then when it was just me, and then when you and I got married, y'all started coming, of course, obviously. And so then Callie and Cody fell in love with that trip, and so we did it a few years in a row. Um, and then I don't know why we just quit doing it, but then last year you and I were like, you know what? We're gonna pick up Pop's Christmas kickoff and we're gonna do that with our family.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Um, because it was such an intentional time that we could it wasn't on the holiday of Thanksgiving, it wasn't on Christmas, but it was such a good time to just spend those few days, and it was only two or three days. Yeah. That was just because it's family.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:And that was something that we became intentional about too. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And so it's always being mindful of I mean, for me, I'm a Thanksgiving guy because there's no presents, there's no gift exchange, you don't you just There's no expectations.
SPEAKER_03:Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You just cook food and hang out.
SPEAKER_03:Other than good food.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you you eat good food, you hang out together, you watch some football, you play in the yard.
SPEAKER_03:Uh it's just Callie broke my finger one year we were playing football.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you hadn't let go of that, actually.
SPEAKER_03:I can't.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And so she really did.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. She threw the football at me. I wasn't ready.
SPEAKER_01:It was it's just it's just fun for me. But like even around you can come up with traditions around Thanksgiving, come up with traditions around uh Christmas, come up with traditions around the new year. Do something fun for the new year.
SPEAKER_03:Keep in mind it does not have to be that day.
SPEAKER_01:No, like any time you pick the day, and again, remember that who you're doing it with is what the important part is. Yes. Like we had a tradition where the kids would always get um pajamas and then we would get a new game. And so on Christmas Eve, we would always play this new family game and we would have pajamas. Well, the kids always knew they were getting pajamas on Christmas Eve. And they did.
SPEAKER_03:And then the times where we didn't have Callie and Cody, um, Thomas and Aaron Grace wanted to wait till Christmas morning when they would come home. They would all open their gifts, they would all put on their new pajamas on Christmas morning, and we would play the game on Christmas morning. Yeah. So it wasn't about what day it was, it was just that, oh, we're all together, let's do it.
SPEAKER_01:And so now it's just as our kids are getting older and their lives are developing and it's just harder and harder to get everybody in the same place.
SPEAKER_03:But I'll tell you the truth though, before we unpack. Um I th was it last year or the year before, um, I still wanted to buy a family game because that was part of their tradition when they were little and growing up. And then they all were it was kind of overlapping time where they all were here and it did not add up to enough time to do all the things I wanted to do. And I had to let go of that, which was really, really hard and my heart hurt.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But I'm like, okay, well, that's over. Like, we can't do that anymore. And so I'm like, now saying it sounds like, well, yeah, there two of them are married and homeowners and like one's out of state. It was like, of course it's different. But I had to let go of that finally.
SPEAKER_01:Well, it's again, we go back to remember who you're with.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Remember why you've you started those to have fun together.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And fun may be different. Now it looks different, it is different. And so it's some things to keep in mind. This is a I mean, just remember, make a calendar. That's very, very important. Like, make a calendar, put all of it on there, all the things that you gotta do, you need to do. Sometimes that can be overwhelming.
SPEAKER_03:It can be.
SPEAKER_01:But that's probably a good indication of maybe we need to like But I'm still learning though.
SPEAKER_03:I'm not say I and I promise you, I'm not saying this stuff as if, oh, I'm the expert and this is how you do it. I'm like, we're still learning, we're still walking through it. And thank God, our precious daughter-in-law, she gets it. So she has already, like two weeks ago, started planning Thanksgiving because we she with Callie. Yeah, she was talking to Callie, her sister-in-law, our oldest, and Callie was like, We're coming up for Thanksgiving this year. We haven't even told anybody yet. So then Miranda, our daughter in law, started immediately texting everybody like, these are the days, this is what we're doing, this is the day that we're doing it with them. Everybody be there. And I'm like, she gets it. Thank goodness.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Anyway, so how do we unpack this, babe?
SPEAKER_01:Who uh before we unpack. So we talked about have the have the schedule. The other thing is is to to have have have reasonable expectations.
SPEAKER_03:That's so hard when you want to be selfish.
SPEAKER_01:I know. But this especially as the bigger your family gets, as your family grows, this just gets harder. So take some time, map it out. Uh I think unpack. I I have one thing. Yeah. Um I would say. Um at least you or your wife pick one tradition you would like to keep, one thing you would like to hold on to. Maybe during Thanksgiving, maybe during Christmas time, maybe New Year's, whatever that is, one thing you want to hold on to. And then she picks one thing that you want to do. And they may be new ones. It could be, I don't know, it could be an old one. Um, but have that and try to reasonably reasonably work those into your schedule.
SPEAKER_03:That's the key.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Reasonably. You only have uh so much time, you only have so many days that everybody can do together.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But the reasonable part is where I have stumbled of not getting my feelings hurt when it doesn't work out. I have to be reasonable with my expectations. Yeah. I'm still learning that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So that's mine. Do we have anything else for unpack? That's it.
SPEAKER_03:No, that's it. So think about big one, though. Yeah, we've got to be a little bit more than that. At one, that's hard.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And so spend some time. Talk about it. Uh, talk about your calendar, talk about new traditions, old traditions, things you loved about them, things that you could change, how could you adapt? And remember, above anything else, man, you're you're about to jump into a really busy time. But as you get so busy, just remember to tap the brakes and remember what all this is for, anyway. You're celebrating each other, you're celebrating family, you're celebrating so many different things. Keep that in mind. Take a deep breath and just relax and enjoy. Um, because there'll come a time just like us. We're sitting there on Christmas Eve, and it's you and I, and we're like, uh where's everybody at?
SPEAKER_03:Why do we not have toys flying everywhere and you know, nerf guns or you're not putting anything together.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:There's not crayons and markers everywhere. It's it's it's it's bittersweet. It's what life is supposed to do.
SPEAKER_01:Yep.
SPEAKER_03:And you gotta go with it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, exactly. So anything to add to that, producer Michael? All right. Well, well, thank you guys for joining us uh today as we talked about the crazy holiday season that's coming up. I hope you enjoy it. I hope you have some time. If there's something you would like for us to talk about, discuss, uh, unpack together, uh feel free to shoot us a DM.
SPEAKER_03:I was literally just about to say, yeah, I was just about to say, if when you have this discussion with your spouse, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever the case may be, if it's difficult and you can't see eye to eye and you'd like for us to help you walk through that, send us a message. Like we can FaceTime each other, we can help you walk through it.
SPEAKER_01:We'll jump on the phone with you.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, we'd love to have a conversation.
SPEAKER_01:So, yeah, I mean, we're that that ultimately that would make us extremely excited to do that. We would so um that that's what we want to do is is help you unpack and work through these things. So and the topics that you're struggling with or dealing with, so yep, uh let us know. Um keep liking, keep sharing. Um and we keep growing and we'll keep doing these.
SPEAKER_03:So yeah, we love you and appreciate you.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, thank you guys. Have a good night.
SPEAKER_03:See you next time.
