We Call It Safe Space and It Gets Messy. Finding deep rooted adult friendships.

Real friendship is easy when life is easy. The test is what happens when the story gets complicated: divorce, remarriage, blended family dynamics, babies, exhausting work weeks, moving houses, and the slow drift into routine that can make a marriage feel like a roommate situation.

We sit down with our best friends Michael and Ashley and talk honestly about why our friendship has held strong for more than 16 years. We trace it back to shared history, a “no judgment” kind of love, and the choice not to pick sides when life got messy. We also get into the practical realities of adult friendships: how most of us default to work friends, neighbors, church community, or our kids’ sports circles, and why it takes real intentionality to keep deeper relationships alive when time and energy are limited.

Along the way, we unpack what friendship does for your mental health and physical health, why isolation can be so dangerous, and how even small connections and casual relationships can lower stress and remind you that you’re not alone. We also talk marriage advice for different seasons, from parenting little kids to empty-nest life, and why the best foundation often starts at home when your spouse is truly your best friend.

If you want stronger adult friendships, a healthier marriage, and a tighter sense of community, hit play, then subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find Baggage Claim.

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Everyone

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey guys, what's up? I'm Greg. I hope you guys are ready to unpack and get into some good conversations today.

SPEAKER_04 0:07

And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage Claim. Thank you for joining us.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

What's up, everybody? How are you doing out there today? Welcome to Baggage Claim. If this is your first time here, thank you for taking time to listen to us. If you're a regular, you know the deal. Grab your favorite drink, take a deep breath, pull up to the table with us because we're going to get in some fun conversation today. It could go off the rails. It could get crazy. Who knows?

SPEAKER_08 0:41

It could stay on. Yeah, who knows?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

It could get crazy here. I see that becoming a more recurring pattern on our episode. It is. It's happening more than it used to.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Is that a decline or an incline? Yes, it is.

The Beach Trip That Bonded Us

SPEAKER_02 0:55

So baggage claim is just a place where we have conversations and hope to create a community around relationships, marriages, blended families, all that in between. And so today we have You've probably heard some new voices. Yes, we're having, and Miranda's just tearing the studio apart right now as we speak. We're we're having uh we have our our some of our best friends on here with us because we're talking about friendships. And so we've been in each other's lives. Michael and Ashley. Yeah, go ahead and say hi.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

Hello, guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

We have been friends with them for we were just discussing this. I think it's right at 15 and a half, 16 years.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Yes, Greg and I met. Oh my god, Greg and I met, goodness, on a uh beach trip was the first time I met Greg, and I got to see Greg for who Greg was.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You did not see that.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

You just dove in the stupid. Let's hang out with that guy.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Okay, so let me let me give you a little bit more backstory to that. It's not my highest moment. I I I was in the gutter. Uh just went through divorce, everything was just kind of done. And uh Damon Sinamar Oak, I think, just felt sorry for me. It was like, I'm not leaving this guy alone for a week.

SPEAKER_06 2:08

He doesn't need to be alone for a week. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

So he's like, You want to go to the beach with us? I'm like, sure. Um I I just to tell where I was.

SPEAKER_04 2:17

You were already vacation.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

We intoxicated at 8 a.m. when we all got together.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

So that's I'm just saying, when you met me, it was not at the peak of my performance.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

Um it was like I want to know more. Yeah. What's driving this guy?

SPEAKER_02 2:33

And so yeah, I spent the week. They they literally just made sure I made it back alive.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Just babysitting.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

So yeah, I was I would sleep on the beach sometimes. They would come out. So it was it wasn't the highest point, but that was the first time.

SPEAKER_03 2:46

But that's when I was like, you know what? No judgment. We Yeah, everybody.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Everybody was just nice to me and loved me. The fitts, Brian Fiddler was.

SPEAKER_03 2:57

Probably like a year and a half, two years before? Before you and I met.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Yeah. And so then we met in heaven, Ashley.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

We've just been friends.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

And then uh annual beach trip, which we're going to I'm going to do an adult. And make it happen. Because that was probably our highlight of just adults go to the beach for a week in the house and just had a blast.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

No kids.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Yeah. And so the next time I went, I carried Jess with me. And just when you guys met and we share bathing suit.

SPEAKER_03 3:29

We did. We haven't we haven't looked back since then. We share bathing suits in our deepest, darkest secrets. She tried to bring out this one piece, and I was like, girl, she didn't come in my closet. Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Jess, uh this household was a little different, right?

SPEAKER_04 3:47

Super, super conservative. Like a true southern bell.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Woo! So we want to talk about friendships. And so we were thinking about let's talk about friendships and what that looks like, how that is as adults, because as we get older, friendships get really hard and they get difficult. And sometimes they're just it's hard to find friends because the idea came out with Jess and I. I was listening to someone, they're like, show me your five friends and I'll show you what your future looks like. And I was like, oh crap. Like, okay, is that is that a good like but I was like, but as an adult, the people I hang out with is kind of like either I work with them or I'm on a ball team with them or my kids know them somehow. It's just an interesting place for that.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

So before we get into that though, thank you, Ashley. You're just you know what time it is.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Sorry, I've got excited about talking about friendship with y'all.

Marriage After Kids Leave Home

SPEAKER_04 4:41

So let's know what time it is, everybody? Question time. Okay, I gotta get my glasses.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Okay, that was that was good.

SPEAKER_04 4:51

That was the best question for you.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

Thank you, Ashley, for pulling us back on the rails. I was already getting excited and went somewhere. Oh, thank you. Yes, also too. So Ashley and Jess are teachers, so they get their teacher talk together and he gets a little out of control.

SPEAKER_04 5:03

Yeah, we both teach first grade. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

So hold on, what was your question, Michael? You had a question.

SPEAKER_08 5:09

This is something I wanted to ask on the 50th episode anniversary or whatever. So you guys are for all intents and purposes, empty nesters.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Yes, pretty much so. 98% there.

SPEAKER_08 5:30

Okay, okay, I'd agree with that. Yeah. So I was thinking, like, what do you guys do with your marriage during the week when things are a routine and just moving along rolling along? What do you guys do to keep things exciting?

SPEAKER_02 5:47

You know, it's it's interesting you ask that because people think about when you have kids, you're in a routine and you're just going, going, going, going. Well the same thing happens when kids leave. It's like you fall into your patterns, and it's almost like Jess and I just had this conversation a long ago. I was like, I feel like we're roommates.

SPEAKER_04 6:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

And not like a couple. But it's so quiet. It is quiet. It's so different. Yeah. And so we actually said the other day because I was like, we're becoming homebodies.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Like we want to stay at home. We have friends that are like, come to the square, go do something like I already put my pajamas on.

SPEAKER_04 6:20

You know, it's six o'clock.

SPEAKER_07 6:21

That is four o'clock.

SPEAKER_04 6:23

Yeah, I totally get that. So one thing that's new for us, we started going to the gym together.

SPEAKER_06 6:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 6:28

We've not ever done that. Like we've always like worked out separately.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 6:32

Um, but we joined the gym together, and that's part of our daily routine now. And it has been so much fun.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

It has been fun. I think trying to be intentional, like we've had to be intentional about doing stuff together outside of the house and with other people. Because people are just like, hey, let's go grab a drink or let's go hang out. I'm like, bro, text me. Literally, when we're at home, I could be it could be the day of and be like, all right, we'll meet you.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

But too, like in our phase of being grandparents, like our our world, every thought, every plan revolves around like when do we get to have Lucy?

SPEAKER_06 7:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:08

So that's the fun, easy part right now. And I think the not easy part is like, no, I need to have fun with you, Greg. Like us have fun. So that's a good question because it has become very different in another new intentional way.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

We can kind of relate to that though. I feel like as parents, we get so involved in being parents, yeah. That we have to super like talk it out, plan ahead, and you have to be really mindful of like, okay, we this involves a babysitter, this involves a babysitter that maybe a few hours, or a babysitter for an overnight situation. So like when you guys invite us over, sometimes it's like uh it's really easy for us to just say no because we got the kids and all their stuff at home. But let's let's make them uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_08 7:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

Because they do.

SPEAKER_08 8:01

Yeah, I mean, on the on the drive over here, um, I brought the folder that has like our budget in it, and like the next month's calendar, and like her calendar looks different than mine, so we try to like mesh them together, and we didn't talk about it at all. We had fun dancing to music. Yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_04 8:21

My parents it's like, yeah, we don't have to listen to Miss Rachel. For y'all though, you're in such a phase because you have a oh my gosh, he's almost six. What almost six and three-year-old, and it's like you're mommy and daddy. I mean, that's your role, like pretty much always. So you have to remember that you're also husband and wife.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Yes and yeah, because as crazy as it can I know, I know as well.

SPEAKER_04 8:49

I know.

SPEAKER_02 8:50

Because as crazy as it is, I mean, you're literally you're gonna turn around and Tatum's gonna be graduating high school and going to college. You're gonna be like, what? It's gonna happen really, really fast.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

But I think that also goes with our topic too, like what we're gonna talk about, friendship, the importance of friendship.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

And good to have friends that can help you stay connected and remember.

How Humor Shapes Our Couples

SPEAKER_04 9:08

I had a question picked out for question time, but then Michael's is better than what we'll hit yours, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

I'm gonna hear what they have to say.

SPEAKER_04 9:15

So the question is how, like this is for this each other, spouses, the couples. How would you describe my sense of humor? And and how does it make you feel when one of us makes the other laugh really hard? I'm scared. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:35

So how does it be like that? Yeah, go ahead, Michael. You got it, you got it?

SPEAKER_08 9:38

Like, I see that I see the grin on his face. I'm like, yeah, go for it, buddy. I'm excited. How do I say it nice? Uh Ashley's sense of humor is incredibly irreverent.

SPEAKER_06 9:47

How do you do that?

SPEAKER_08 9:48

Even dirty with a U. Yeah, you are T Y.

SPEAKER_03 9:51

I would agree. Um be proud of that. Hey, it's just you, girl. Just okay. It's just who I am. Yeah. Sorry, I'm not sorry.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

There you go.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

Okay, how would you describe Michael's sense of humor? Michael's sense of humor. Um I think Michael's always gonna be funny in like a serious moment, whether it's a serious, like with our kids, something bad's happening, or or I feel like it's bad as a mom, and he's like, Well, he's like, Well, hey Ash, hey Ash, how much for it? And I'm like, stop. We have kids around. Yeah, like this. No, but it can be sometimes inappropriate, but it brings light to a serious situation. So I don't know if there's a word for that.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

We have a group text that we all are in.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

It's called safe space.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

It is called safe space. And I think just because we were mocking each other and saying this is a safe space, but you can say what if you want to. Which we usually do anyway.

SPEAKER_06 10:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Um but Michael is so quick-witted in that. Yes, it's hilarious. Like he'll say stuff that I'm like, okay, that's funny.

SPEAKER_04 10:57

And actually, sense of humor is how Michael described it, but also you laugh at your own jokes. I do laugh.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

You laugh when nobody else laughs.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

Her own self. Michael's like, do you ever realize that your face that you can make when you laugh? It's like, so it's funny. It's yeah, your eyes get really big and everyone like I'm like, this is gonna be a big one. Yeah. And then it's not cool at all.

SPEAKER_04 11:22

That's that's how would you describe my sense of humor?

SPEAKER_02 11:25

It's um, it's very godlike.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

I do.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Uh you have like your humor is so like based around stupid movies. Like I could say something from a movie, and you just mix like it's the next line, you just throw it out there, and I was like, Yeah, it's so easy. It's just easy, it's just fun to be. Because then we just we went off the other day and we were on a whole script of just one liners from it, and we're we're I was like, it's just the two of us.

SPEAKER_04 11:53

It was everything.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Yeah, and I was like, What is we're such a weird couple, like we're so weird.

SPEAKER_04 11:59

Every your humor goes like from like intelligent, like I have to think about why it's funny, to middle schooler. Like, you are very wide range, your humor. Like, sometimes I'm like, Can you help me understand why that's funny? Right now. Michael can be so studious.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

I'm like, I've already got it. Michael's comedy's that would be like that. Yes, I don't get it. So it's not funny.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

That's why I like some of it. I'm like, okay, this is well thought out. That was really good. Yeah, that's funny. Let's make a joke about Iran.

SPEAKER_04 12:30

And you will and can, and it's funny. Yeah, and then it's like, oh, should I? Iran from the cops. Okay, so perfect.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

All right.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

So I mean, you can already hear like our friendship is pretty tight, the four of us.

Staying Friends Through Divorce

SPEAKER_02 12:44

So it's it's interesting from question time leading back into our discussion. Uh this is just a question I have that I'd be curious to hear your all um interpretation of it. Why have we remained friends over 16 years? Because there's a lot of I mean, we're in completely different places in our lives. We talked about that, which is crazy. You guys, I don't know if you mind me saying, but you guys were married, then you got divorced, and then you got remarried again. Um we were there both of it. Uh you officiated the second wedding. I did. I did. The first the first wedding was one of probably my I don't know if it's my highlight moments or my low light moments at y'all's wedding. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:26

Um it was a highlight of when I met you. It was kind of the same situation. So Aaron Grace was like, what, nine or ten? Our youngest child? Yeah. Who's like nine or ten, and we were all just dancing, literally, all of us, the whole friend group, and you were still. I was hanging out with a bunch of guys.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Yeah, the guys just chilling.

SPEAKER_04 13:43

And then your baby child walks up to you and says, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

Pulls me on the like, taps me on the leg, yes.

SPEAKER_04 13:48

Yeah, pulls his jacket.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

Yeah, I heard the bartender says the last call, and all of my friends looked at me and I was like, I don't know if this is shape or if this is like carabies. And I was like, Thank you, honey. And they're all she just walked away and I was like, Do y'all want to drink?

SPEAKER_04 14:05

I don't know what's anything like that. I love those wedding video anyway, but what there's so many like little snippets of Thomas and Aaron just dancing their little self silly at your receptionists. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

And they were not there for our second wedding. So we didn't want to break them.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

What's kept like what would you guys say has together? Yeah, because there's been a lot it'd have been really easy for us to just kind of go our separate ways.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

I mean, rather we were friends first, but you could have seen it from his perspective or mine. Um and you guys didn't do that.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Well, because when we were friends, I always wanted Michael to know and be like, bro, just because y'all aren't married, like I still I still like you. Like I still like I I'm concerned about you. I want to make sure you're okay.

SPEAKER_07 14:55

Um because we were separated. Right. And I would still get like the uh excuse me.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

I think it's a rite of passage.

SPEAKER_08 15:12

I would still get these check-in texts, you know, and uh Greg like, hey bro, how you doing? Sometimes it'd be like good. And sometimes it'd be uh I'm not a depression.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

Here's all the things.

SPEAKER_08 15:26

Yeah. Um that was really big. Like, no, yeah, nobody was choosing sides.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

Um Well, I didn't never want you to feel the way that I felt when I went through my divorce. Like I had a lot of friends who just bailed bailed on me and never said anything. I was like, I was friends with them, and I'm like, I never wanted you to feel that way. Like it was so it's it's it doesn't one of those weird hard things for people to navigate and we should talk about some point on here.

SPEAKER_04 15:54

It's like, yeah, you became our friend because you dated and then married our Ashley, but no, we truly genuinely like you and love you as a person, not because you're you.

SPEAKER_08 16:03

Yeah, and and so Greg would even um convey that through text like, hey, me and Jess are rooting for you, you know, even as an individual person. We're rooting for Ashley too, you know, it's like cool, we wish the best for each other. A year and a half went by, we reconnected, and there was a stigma about that too. Like going to hang out with like other friend groups, certain things were gonna just kind of awkward, yeah, you know, and um I'll never forget like Greg just again, just gave me a big hug and he goes I think the dogs are gonna do it this year. And they didn't, they didn't know. It was a rough years for us. Um just uh that like we picked up where we left off. Yeah, like no judging. Yeah, uh we noticed we'll notice a lot, but there was no judgment. Um that was just really big for me and us really as guys, I feel like, but also the fact that I know that there's like a back into this that like Jess is also rooting for me, Jess is also rooting for Ashley, as my ex-wife, you know. Um and then yeah, it all kind of came back together in this like weird, sort of beautiful story. But as far as like being friends goes, one of the hardest times was like also one of like the best times for our friendship.

SPEAKER_04 17:42

Yeah, it was a very sweet time. Yeah. I mean, it it was very bittersweet. I mean, it was the true definition of that.

SPEAKER_03 17:48

Absolutely. It was like it was like a loss for all of us. It was.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

It's like when we go for me, man, when we go to the lake house and we sit out by the fire and we you break out that propane thing and almost burn us all to the ground.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

It's a flamethrower. It's a little bit more.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

But when we light the fire, it's it's so easy to hang out with you guys and just be real. Like you guys see the for real who we are, like no. There's no, there's no, there's no mass, there's no nothing. It's like, and we love you guys for who you are, all the you guys love us for all of our crap.

SPEAKER_08 18:24

No judging, we notice now, like I noticed the hell out of that or whatever, but like no judgment, no judgment. Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:32

I have a I've found a Bible verse that kind of I feel like really encompasses our relationship. Um, and it says it's Galatians 6, verse 2, and it says, carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. And that is so true. I think you guys really showed that, not only through our separation, our divorce, but also when we started bringing littles into the world. Um, you know, and our our schedules got different. We weren't hanging out as frequent as we were, but we knew that when we did hang out, yeah, we were gonna pick right back up where we left.

SPEAKER_04 19:06

We always said that Tatum and Catherine were our practice grandkids. It's true. And they call us our grandparent names. Like they like we're G and JJ to them too.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

Yeah. And those little guys, they're and that's what like we even had a conversation. This is this is what our friendship is. Like we even had a conversation the other day. We were all together and we're like, hey, if we see one of the kids doing this, is it okay if we're yeah, what do we do? Like, is it okay if we say something or don't say something? What do we do? Like, I don't want to overstep my place, but you're like, no, you're part of our kids' lives.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

You are our family for us and for them as well. Um and there's a there's another famous quote. Um, I think let's say I'm fine. Albert Herbert Hubbard said, A friend is someone who knows you and all about you and still loves you. So, like, you guys know our dirty, you know the some of the struggles. We went through premarital counseling with you guys when we before our first marriage.

SPEAKER_08 20:04

Yeah, way to go, Greg. Yeah, that word railed in it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:07

Hey, but you patched it up on the second round, babe. You didn't. You were the uh, but um, and I just mean for that.

SPEAKER_04 20:16

We've talked a lot about your story too, but like we've been through your crap raising our kids. Like it's not been easy and four kids as a blended family though, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 20:26

Um that that's a huge thing for me. I I never really grew up uh witnessing that. Um and so I try like as a father to model myself, like after God first, after Christ first, but like seeing the way like you and Greg navigated that is absolutely just amazing.

SPEAKER_04 20:51

Oh thank you. But and now it's my turn to get emotional, but you truly love all of our kids. Like you love them and you you know them. Yeah, and like that's that's huge to me. And you're doing the same thing with our granddaughter, like this you just genuinely I don't know, just like feels like oh kumbaya, but we genuinely, the four of us, love each other and our families. We we truly do, and we treasure time together and well it's because for us, like when we started going to River Bend and you guys weren't really going anywhere, and we were constantly like, hey, let's invite Michael Nashley.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Let's invite Michael Nashley. We just kept inviting you because we wanted you to come be a part of that, and then you did. I could feel I feel kind of bad because then it fell apart, but that's a different thing.

SPEAKER_04 21:36

Okay, we're in a happy place.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

But it fell apart, but it it's a big thing.

SPEAKER_04 21:38

Yeah, we're going to church together again. And I think we got to we you invited us. We invited you together.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

And so it it basically like I learned even through that, I think we were when you started River Bend, uh Michael and um Johnson were working, our producer were working together, and he's like, Hey, you know Michael Minton. I was like, Yeah, and he goes, Dude, he plays bass, and I'm like, What? I was like, I've been friends with you for how many years? 10 plus years. I had no idea. And he goes, Oh, yeah, he's pretty good. He's really good. And I was like, what? And so then you started playing, and I was just like, well, I had no idea. Decent to adequate? No. Decent to adequate. Stop. It's pretty good.

COVID And Moving Through Chaos

SPEAKER_03 22:19

50-50. But we also got to live through one of the world's kind of crazy times together, COVID. We did, we did. And I was eight months pregnant with my first baby, and that to me, we all got COVID together. We did. We're gonna quarantine, we're gonna quarantine the four of us. This is gonna be a thing. We're not telling the world we're not gonna hang out with other people.

SPEAKER_04 22:42

So you and I would have to teach at home from home in the mornings. Um, and then the rest of the day was just ours. Whatever we wanted to do.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

We would hang out on the back deck or hang out on y'all's back deck.

SPEAKER_08 22:53

Cook was a wheelter at the time. Yes, I was. And so we were selling our house, the best worst decision we ever made.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

Poor Michael. Um, yes, so sad with me.

SPEAKER_08 23:04

Yeah, it was just funny. Like, you know, all the virtual baby showers started showing up at the house. That was so weird.

SPEAKER_04 23:11

That was so weird.

SPEAKER_08 23:12

But all the boxes started showing up, and I was like, uh, I was like, we need more space.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

And that's all I needed to hear. It's a pregnant line. You were like, I was like, I got this.

SPEAKER_02 23:22

Yeah, boom, within two days, like and you know what I said? I was like, you won't outdo me, and we sold our house. For no apparent no reason at all.

SPEAKER_04 23:30

And we closed on our next houses on the same other day together.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

Like, we had a great house. I loved our house, but we were like, eh, we were gonna be somewhere different.

SPEAKER_08 23:39

And so we the cool thing about uh those situations though is so we're going through this, y'all are going through that. Like buying and selling a house is a process, as you know. Um, having a kid, it's a process. Um probably more so for the female than the male, but um I mean, yeah, it could be equally, but physically for the male. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:06

Michael Tro told our nurse as soon as I had Tatum, oh, that wasn't so bad. And I was like, oh bro, you need to stop. No, she was like, Don't say anything else. Thank God, someone's on my team.

SPEAKER_08 24:19

Yeah, but like through that entire situation, um, you know, as friends, we're like just wishing nothing for the best for each other. And so it's like at some point, it's like we're carrying a lot of baggage, all of us. And it's like almost like I see Greg with like two big ass suitcases, you know, and I got two big ass suitcases, and it's like all right, man.

SPEAKER_04 24:44

It's like high five worth of suitcases, yeah. Here we go. Yeah, do you have to do that?

SPEAKER_08 24:47

Take them over here, and then we turn around and you know, uh are still connected. But uh I think the main thing through all that situation was just improvement, like for y'all, your space, your life. Um for us, our space, our life. Like we got a home now, right? Yeah, it's not a house, um, it's not Ashley's house. Yeah, you know, before.

SPEAKER_06 25:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 25:12

Um like we have a home, you guys have a home. Um we're here in a a bungalow. Our podcast bungalow.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

It's like a lawsuite or something.

SPEAKER_08 25:27

So it was like, yeah, it's these like stressful times, but also like the most meaningful times. Right. And when whoever the guy was that was mad because I pushed the safe out of the uh the downstairs closet, Ashley's mom is like vacuuming upstairs because it's it's moving down. Quick turnaround time. Yeah, it was. And you call me and you're like, what can I do to help?

SPEAKER_03 25:53

And I was like, I'm moving stuff in already, it's not our house yet.

SPEAKER_08 25:57

Everything or nothing. Like, you know, I was like, just let me yell at you on the phone for about three minutes.

SPEAKER_06 26:06

And so I did that, you know, and uh it was cool.

SPEAKER_08 26:09

Nothing personal. No, that was all business. And then after that, boom, here we are, like eating pizza on the floor.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

That your deal was one of the probably handful of times Jess saw me lose it with someone was with the other you guys, and I I kind of go out. Like, I always take care of my clients when we're doing real estate, but even for you guys, even more. I was I I went into like a a not good place mode.

SPEAKER_06 26:39

Yeah, and I was like, Yeah, we're not doing this.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

Like, you're not, and I just I got so ticked off.

Why Adult Friendships Feel Hard

SPEAKER_03 26:45

Um as I'm driving to the closing, and I'm like, bro, we're done. Yeah we're signing papers in an hour.

SPEAKER_04 26:54

Having friends as adults, well, making friends as adults is really hard.

SPEAKER_03 26:59

Yeah. I'm in my experience.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

I agree.

SPEAKER_03 27:02

We get in our comfort zones and we're like, I've got friends. I don't need to make more friends. And then I'm like, but I've got these good friends. Do I introduce these good friends to other friends that I'm trying to make? And will it all mesh and mingle?

SPEAKER_02 27:13

And then if you guys, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 27:15

It's okay. I was just gonna say in our separate experiences, divorce, loss of a spouse, like we both both lost friends that we thought of the stuff. You will lose friends through divorce. A thousand percent. I mean, even in my situation, I talked about on a previous podcast. Like, I'm like, how did I lose friends in that? Like, I don't understand. It's not your fault. But then, like, with what you guys have been through too, like, what if Greg and I were not able to still love you separately through that? Like, that I think that just says a lot about it.

SPEAKER_02 27:45

Well, because you guys are gonna still gonna go through like right now, you have friends too, because of the proximity that you live around. Like you have neighbors and you guys all hang out together. And so that's probably I mean, I'm not being the debut downer here, but I mean those times will change. Somehow get jobs, they move off. Uh Tatum starts playing travel ball or playing some ball that you're at the ball field.

SPEAKER_04 28:07

You'll make new friends.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Catherine does that and is like, does that become my new friend group for now? Do I hang out with them? Because that's typically how it works. The way it works, there's people we work with. Um, and I'm not saying that's a good or a bad thing. I think it's intentional. Like we have to be intentional.

SPEAKER_08 28:22

I will say this about our friendship though, is um there's a flexibility and like a fluidity. And then, hey, we're hanging out in the green space with the neighbors, like y'all can come join us. Come join us, and you do sometimes. Um we're hanging out with my grandpa and his girlfriend, wife, you know, whatever. Like, cool. Yeah, you know. Um, we'll be there. We love that guy.

SPEAKER_04 28:52

Yeah. That's so true. That's so true.

SPEAKER_08 28:55

Like, like, hey, Dalton's coming over, whatever. Like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:58

We go to your mom's house, go swimming. But like with your butt like you and I, we will go, I mean a couple of weeks. Or yeah, a week or so and not have talked to each other at all. And but the guys all day every day.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

We do text, we do text a lot, dude.

SPEAKER_08 29:13

We had our conversations. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 29:16

Yeah, we're like, actually and I every now and again will just text one another and be like, I miss you, I love you, hope you're doing okay. Are you okay?

SPEAKER_03 29:24

But I think that's also a difference in dudes and girls. I mean, because we're both busy and we're both living the same life away from life. Yeah, our jobs are the same.

SPEAKER_04 29:35

Um But I think that's kind of opposite though. I think girls usually talk more than the guys do for this, not for me.

SPEAKER_08 29:41

Greg's oil chains costs$48.99.

SPEAKER_04 29:44

I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

I think Michael's just intrigued because my life is so weird. Like he'd be like, What are you doing today? And I'll send him a picture of me on the roof, and he's like, Wow.

SPEAKER_06 29:53

Really?

SPEAKER_02 29:54

And then I mean, what picture? I'm like painting something random, or I was tearing down a building one day.

SPEAKER_08 30:00

It really is fun. I wake up every day, and the first thing is like, okay, try to go with gratitude. Like, thank you for my family, thank you for my wife. And I'm like, What is Greg doing today?

SPEAKER_03 30:11

Yeah, you hit the top three. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

It's so random. Like, and I always, when I'm doing something really random, I always have to think, I haven't seen Michael a picture. Like, here's where I'm going to do that.

SPEAKER_04 30:20

You don't even know what you're doing every day. I think Michael is probably more aware of your daily activity.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

Like, hey, I'm in the lift like 30 feet in the air. Look at this. This is cool.

SPEAKER_08 30:29

I was like, can I still do that?

SPEAKER_04 30:30

Yeah. There'll be days like I'll be three quarters of the way through the school day, and I'll text Greg and be like, what even are you doing today? I don't even know. He's like, but Michael knows. But Michael knows. Yeah. He knows where to find you.

SPEAKER_08 30:41

The best part about that is like we have these text conversations, y'all have these text conversations, and then at like 3 p.m. on a Saturday in our safe space text. It's all like burgers tonight? Absolutely. What time do we come out of this one? Thumbs up.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Yeah. So it's I would be curious, Michael, uh, other Johnson producer, Michael, and assistant producer, like as your adults, um, friends. What's your thought on that? Like, how do you get friends? How are you making friends? How are what are your friendships right now? If I said who's your friends and what does this look like?

SPEAKER_08 31:18

MJ doesn't have friends.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

Ouch. Ouch.

SPEAKER_03 31:24

No, uh he's my friend.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 31:26

He's our friend. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_04 31:28

He's our family. He's part of our family.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

We are literally.

SPEAKER_04 31:31

Michael Johnson's not just a friend. You're a family member at this point. Basically.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

No, for me, friends kind of have developed over interest in things that I'm currently doing. You know, being intentional to uh I don't know if I would say stay active, but but rather being out there. Yeah. Like putting being open to things when a group's going bowling and you're like, oh my gosh, this is, you know, Thursday night, which is like my Friday night, where I'm like, I finally get my first night off of the week. I'm like, I just want to chill, but why not go enjoy time, even if it's just an hour and a half, two hours? Um, because I look at those kinds of things over the past three or four years of my life, which have been incredible groundbreaking years for me, just personally, where I'm at. I've developed numerous friendships through that, you know.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

You know, Michael used to hate Georgia football. Like he didn't well, he didn't. I didn't hate it.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

I was just completely like, gosh. There's the only part. Yeah, I didn't really care.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

So every Saturday we get like when Saturday rolls around in fall, it's perfect time of year. And so we have the TV in the garage.

SPEAKER_08 32:42

A true gathering of friends. Yes. And we just talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

Well, dude, my walk by times do we sit and just talk music, life, anything while we've sat at those Georgia football games.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

How many times have I got to sit and talk with Thomas and Miranda? You know, because Greg, you and I, we worked together for a few years and we we still do quote unquote work, personal projects together all the time. But you and I have spent so much time together because of that direct involvement. Right. But when it comes to Jess, Ashley, Michael, Miranda, Thomas, AJ, all these other people that I love and get to be a part of with this family, all those relationships have been building over one Saturday at a time coming over to watch Georgia games. And you were dude, you were kind of like reluctant at first.

SPEAKER_02 33:33

You're like, okay. I was, dude, I was showing halftime.

SPEAKER_04 33:38

And now he's like, I gotta say bought you first, Georgia gear. Yeah, he showed up with Georgia Gearies.

SPEAKER_08 33:44

And so it was just kind of his new era.

SPEAKER_02 33:48

More like Thanks Marshall. Yeah, thanks. Well, Miranda Miranda was the same weight, though.

SPEAKER_05 33:54

Like you didn't even know I never watched football really before you guys. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

But it was our common denominator, really, just to pull people together. Yeah. That's the whole idea.

Sacrificing Time To Stay Close

SPEAKER_03 34:04

Well, you guys are really good at that though. Because you are welcoming, you're not judgmental, and you're not seeking something out of friendship other than the quality time with people, gathering with people.

unknown 34:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:20

Um, so in this conversation, it kind of made me ha spark the questions like do you have to make sacrifices for friendships? Yes. Like as adults, as you know, even without kids, without, you know, a spouse, with kids, with a spouse.

SPEAKER_04 34:37

Well, a really big piece of it is what as is time. You do have to sacrifice time one way or another.

SPEAKER_06 34:42

Yeah. Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_04 34:45

And especially according to what season of life you're in. Sure. I mean, for you guys, uh it is a big sacrifice of time. Like, I mean, right now, even like you're away from the littles, just to do this with your friends. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 34:57

It's it's it's a sacrifice of time, um, but there's also a growth, right? Um so we we all have time. We all have 24 hours in a day. And at the end of the day, we may have two or three hours.

SPEAKER_04 35:14

Together. Maybe as a family.

SPEAKER_08 35:17

Well, together with the kids. So we might have four to four and a half minutes, you know, together. But like, you know, it's all about time, but like it's like who you choose to spend it with. And I think at the end of the day, with everybody's time, like Miranda's time, you know, MJ's time, if we have a little bit extra, we choose to spend it with you know with each other.

SPEAKER_06 35:42

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_08 35:43

Um and not saying that like you're cutting other things out or whatever, but it's like, yeah, we could we could be folding laundry, we could do this. Um we should have to look at our budget. You know what? No, we're gonna rock out, we're gonna hang out on the way to live this house.

SPEAKER_03 36:02

You know, we're gonna be mom and dad. So I think at some point, yeah, we're gonna be Michael Ashley. That's true.

SPEAKER_08 36:07

It's not like the the priority, but you guys are also a priority because um you drive us to be better people. I think at the at the end of the day, you know, why do we all hang out with each other? Like, why do I still text Michael all these stupid things? Because Michael makes me want to be a better man, and he makes me want to be a better follower of Christ.

SPEAKER_04 36:29

You know, all six of us sitting in this room right now, we truly do want the best for each other. And if I and well, case seven, Thomas is imaginarily here, he's at the fire station. But like, we truly do all want the best for each other.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 36:41

Yeah, and we and I know and trust and have confidence that I could call any of you in a time of need, and you guys would be there.

unknown 36:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:50

I think that we but how do we maintain that like people out there that don't maybe don't have those kind of relationships?

SPEAKER_04 36:58

Podcast Ashley.

SPEAKER_03 37:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 37:01

She's turning it over there to the unpacked portion already. Look at her. So I did a hair flip too. She did a hair flip. I'm kind of like Greg, and I think that's why Greg and I guys are very similar.

SPEAKER_03 37:15

Are you know close. It's like we are we are thinker people. We'll talk with talker people. Like we wanna we wanna drive conversations with questions.

SPEAKER_04 37:25

Very true. You and Greg are very similar.

SPEAKER_02 37:30

Uh for me, I uh it honestly it comes down to being intentional. Like you you have to be intentional about about your time. What you were just saying, like I have this time, I have this a allotted amount of time I get to do with it what I want.

SPEAKER_04 37:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:46

I gotta be intentional with it. Who do I want to spend it with?

SPEAKER_04 37:48

Well, I was just thinking about Thomas and Miranda. Uh you haven't talked very much today though, Miranda. But like Thomas works a lot and you're a stay-at-home mommy. And so that consumes you. Being Lucy's mommy right now consumes you, and Thomas's jobs consume him most of the time. So then the little bit of time that you two get to be a couple, to be Thomas and Miranda, is sparse. And then you still have to figure out how to have friends. You know, how do y'all it's for me?

SPEAKER_05 38:16

I feel selfish when I tell people no to like hanging out when it is home.

SPEAKER_08 38:22

That's the most unselfish thing you can do though. Right in a weird way.

SPEAKER_05 38:28

We're lacking on the friendship side of who we are as people. Sure, sure. And that's hard to navigate right now. Yeah. Yeah. With having a one and a half year old working part-time, him working over multiple time, yeah, all the time. Like it's just hard right now. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:50

But you're you guys are so young. If you're not careful to make sure you do that now, it'll be so much easier later to just bypass that part of who you are as people.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

And I don't want you guys to miss out on what we have. Yeah. Because you're gonna need those people.

SPEAKER_08 39:07

Yeah. But also, how many times have we texted each other on a Friday and none of us are doing anything? And we've decided to stay in our homes and do nothing. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 39:20

But then you guys too have been so gracious, too. Like you include Thomas and Miranda in our our friend group, too. Right.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

Like, but they're family. No, they're just older kids that are family. Yeah, you know. But we don't have to parent them now. We can be like friends with them.

SPEAKER_04 39:35

You guys, yeah, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_08 39:38

Yeah, that that's interesting too. Um, because obviously, like we've known Thomas longer than we've known you.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

He didn't even know my name when we met. Yeah, she was Malibu when he introduced us to us, and we're like, who? Like, that's standing in your kitchen, standing in your kitchen.

SPEAKER_08 39:56

It's like, it's too good to stick around. And you know what?

SPEAKER_04 39:59

That was during the city. It was during COVID. Yeah, he was standing in your kitchen and saying, like, yeah, I went on a date with a girl, and here's and we're looking at the city. What's her name? I was standing there.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

And he had no idea what her name was.

SPEAKER_04 40:18

Bless your heart, except for Miranda.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

And so that's that's when we started calling you Malibu.

SPEAKER_03 40:23

Yeah, she's wearing a shirt that has Malibu on it. So I feel like she's embarrassing.

SPEAKER_08 40:28

It's even been short to each other. They're not Eboo.

SPEAKER_04 40:32

That's what you're doing.

SPEAKER_08 40:33

Like that, that's one of those fun things. Like, so friendship, like, here we are, we're doing this.

SPEAKER_04 40:39

Like and it's extended.

SPEAKER_08 40:41

Our kids are our kids. Um every victory, every every heartache, too. We've been through some of those, right? Yeah. Um we feel those.

SPEAKER_03 40:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 40:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:53

We have those side conversations with each other. It's like, oh my gosh, what happened? How do we fix this? How can we help them? How can we help the kids?

SPEAKER_04 41:00

Would you would we all say what we have collectively is rare?

SPEAKER_03 41:07

It seems that way, but I don't want to accept that it is because I want other people to have what we have. And and I even think about that for Miranda and Thomas. I'm like, where do they find that couple friends?

SPEAKER_05 41:21

AJ to get a girlfriend.

SPEAKER_03 41:23

Right. And you know, that we have to be in the same walk of life because we're not in the same walk of life, but we have that genuine Yeah. We have that genuine.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

I do. Like even Thomas's buddy AJ, I swear he feels like one of my kids.

SPEAKER_08 41:36

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 41:37

Like I actually was sending him reels.

SPEAKER_08 41:39

He's like one of my stepkids.

SPEAKER_02 41:40

Yeah, I sent him a reel the other day of this dude proposing to his uh girlfriend in the cockpit.

SPEAKER_04 41:47

In the airplane. Right.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

He's like, baby, this is emergency, we gotta figure this out.

SPEAKER_04 41:50

We need to pull out the emergency manual trying to page this.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

And he proposes to her. Dude, that's pretty cool. I sent him, I was like, This is how you gotta do it, bro.

SPEAKER_04 42:00

Like, this is it. Just leave the carpet. Fred showed it to me yesterday, and we both were crying.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

But like AJ's the guy, like I called him the other day when something was happening with Miranda. We were recording, things start happening. I call AJ and he's like, hey. And I was like, Are you are you okay? He goes, bro, I just landed the plane. Like he's like, I still got people in the back. He's like, I gotta go.

SPEAKER_07 42:24

And I was like, not illegal?

SPEAKER_02 42:25

And I was like, is everything okay with Miranda? And he goes, I think there was he explained it really quickly. He's like, Hey, I gotta go. I'll call you when I get out of here. And I was like, Okay. So it's just like he's literally like one of our kids, but he was just a friend that came in. But it's a conscious decision that you including him. Yeah, like Thomas and I went and spent the day with him over his apartment in Woodstock and just hung out and had a blast just to build that relationship.

SPEAKER_08 42:51

About AJ they too talking about like extended, extended, extended family friends or whatever. Like AJ's number is in my phone. You know, and but that's for a reason, though. Like, if something ever happened, or I don't know, if I was in Woodstock and needed a Gatorade or something, like I don't know. I don't know what I would call it. He would be so happy to do that. He would be so happy. We have such this massive amount of support around us. We're all trying to bring each other up. Yeah, yeah, we've been with AJ through breakups and whatever celebrations. Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:27

Um but it all goes back to that core friendship and establishing that core friendship with and then the tentacles that go out from that.

SPEAKER_02 43:37

Right, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 43:38

It's almost and we owe it all to Ashley and Greg. High five to that. I know, right?

SPEAKER_02 43:44

In the beach trip. Bless your heart, bless your heart. Because I was I didn't even like being around myself at that beach trip.

SPEAKER_08 43:49

I would say that what we do have is rare, um, just because it runs so deep. Yeah. Um and everybody Can find that.

SPEAKER_03 44:01

Um but it's gonna require intentionality though, like we've been saying a couple of times. And honesty. Honesty, yeah, realness. Like if I'm being a terrible parent, I love thinking like, what would you do in this situation? How would you have handled this?

SPEAKER_02 44:15

I remember when Tatum was little, and we would come down there, and you'd be like, I don't know what to do, I can't do anything. And you would literally just hate him to jest.

SPEAKER_04 44:23

He was a baby and just waited to me. His stomach hurts, he's burping, you know, he would have been screaming for five hours and I would walk in the door. But then also that we're I I mean Tatum, we had it down. We knew. I had the touch.

SPEAKER_03 44:39

I had the judge when he has this little attitude. I'm like, what would you do? Like, I don't want to send him to his room, but I know I got to like help. She's like, you're doing this.

SPEAKER_04 44:51

Smart little guy. Eat his face off.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

Well, okay. So friendship is one of these things that's so large and it's so but it's so incredibly encouraging and helpful as adults. Like, but it's one of those things we don't talk about a whole lot. We just we either become friends with people we live next to, we play our kids play sports with, or we work with. Um, but being intentional about surrounding yourself with people who really care about you and want the best for you is is huge.

SPEAKER_08 45:19

I think that's the big thing. Uh sorry. Um I think that's the big thing with us. You don't always have to look to like the proximity situation or the uh the convenience situation because for us it's not convenient. Like I said, we're drastically different places in our life. Yeah, we don't live close together, but we're still intentional about spending time together. Yeah, right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:42

I agree.

SPEAKER_03 45:43

So I forgot what I was gonna say, but I had a thought.

SPEAKER_02 45:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 45:47

It'll come back. It's okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 45:48

I'm sorry. Uh no, you're good.

SPEAKER_03 45:50

If it's not back, just interrupt, Greg. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:52

So any anything else to add to that, Miranda MJ, producer MJ?

SPEAKER_00 45:59

I've been listening and doing some research.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 46:03

Um, there are there are some stats just in in general about what friendship does to you as an adult. Um one, they say it can reduce depression by 50%, like almost immediately due to emotional health, mental health, reducing of stress levels, things like that. And I even remember back we talked about this one time on a uh episode where we talked about isolation. Yeah. How we were trying to get away with the technology that we have, we are more isolated as individuals. Um, and I I I would have to go back and make sure this number is correct, but if I'm not mistaken, they said if you are living in isolation, it recruit it increases your chances of dying in the next seven years by like 30%. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's unhealthy. So like we're talking about friendships and reminiscing on great memories and all these things. And and for listeners who are listening to this, like it's not just simply a a feel good. Oh, we have friends, we go get to do stuff. No, it actually changes you physically. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:09

I I remember what I was gonna say, and it it goes back on that. Like I I grew up with friends that I hung out with, you know, middle school, high school, college, even. But I don't have the deep-rooted friendships with them that I have with you guys. And so it just it goes to set it goes to show that like you can spend all your time with these people and still be light years apart from them if you don't have those things in common. You're not you're not willing to put in the work, you're not willing to be intentional of being. I mean, goodness, we would go out on dates when even when I had Tatum and he was little, we had Tatum and he would just come along with us because he was such a chill baby. Like we didn't we didn't let that having a baby interrupt our friendship. Right.

SPEAKER_08 47:54

I think at the end of the day, like it's like a god thing. Um with with just kind of like who you mesh with. You know, like I said, stories light years apart. Uh me and MJ light years apart. Uh and Thomas and Miranda also like have like a separate friendship. They went over to her house. Without all you know, hanging out, yeah. Um I truly do think like there's such a thing and uh as MJ was saying, just a unity, like a community, um being part of something bigger than yourself, yeah. Whether it's a friend group or whether it's a church or a team or whatever it is, um, I think that's that's something that uh that people discount often. And uh that's something that like we have just benefited so much from and have been able to also benefit others from.

SPEAKER_03 48:49

Yeah, right. We don't have to put on a face for you guys of like, oh, we got it all together. Like we've shared our deepest, darkest times, and you know, things that we even still struggle with, you guys know about or are the first to know about.

SPEAKER_04 49:02

And vice versa.

SPEAKER_03 49:04

Right. I mean, we're not perfect, whether it be relationships or circumstances, we're no judging.

SPEAKER_08 49:09

We just notice anyway. You know, like I said, yeah, I noticed that a lot of people are. We listen and we don't judge.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

And it's not a it's not a well, I got friends you don't kind of thing. For me, it's like I'm very, very thankful that we have you guys and we have, but also too, I'm like we've also both made the decision, you guys and us, to say, we're not just gonna let this go. It's like a marriage. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm not, you're not gonna run me off. I'm gonna stay here and keep going. We've tried, Greg. Yeah, we have tried a couple times.

SPEAKER_06 49:41

Okay, we have certainly tried. We've come close.

SPEAKER_02 49:44

We've come close, but we we hang in there.

SPEAKER_04 49:46

You guys can come back.

SPEAKER_02 49:47

Anything else to add, Michael? What did you you have some more stats?

SPEAKER_00 49:49

Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_04 49:50

Yeah, your face is lit up back there. I can see.

SPEAKER_00 49:52

Well, there's two. One, when you're when you live in isolation and don't have close friends, and they're even saying like weak ties, like knowing your barista by name, right? If you go to a coffee shop, that also increases or decreases stress, anxieties. So, like, even if you have no deep tie connection to anybody, just simply going out and having casual encounters with strangers. I feel like that goes back to community though. Yes, connection, yeah, yeah, very much so.

SPEAKER_03 50:24

Knowing that you're not alone.

SPEAKER_00 50:26

Like, they say that if you uh if you live your life in isolation, it's basically the health equivalent of smoking 20 cigarettes a day.

SPEAKER_03 50:36

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 50:37

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 50:38

That is the So my question would be like, why do people want to do that?

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Because why would people it's effort? Like it's it's easy to turn up. But sometimes it's easy to make excuses. In today's time, like you got people working two, three jobs. That's true. So I mean, you you got single parent families, you've got grandparents taking care of grandkids, you've got all these things. I mean, like, I know what it's like when I'm working double jobs. Yeah, like you get home on a Friday night, the night everyone wants to go out and not commune because you've got to be a little bit more. Oh, I just want to go home.

SPEAKER_04 51:10

And you've used up all your words for the day.

SPEAKER_00 51:12

Yes, I've used up all my emotional capacity for the day or for the week.

SPEAKER_04 51:16

My eyes need to be closed.

SPEAKER_08 51:17

That's also that's probably a whole other episode, but shout out to the single moms and the single dads out there. Oh gosh, absolutely. To the couples who are like, no, we won't invite him or her. Um single daddy. We don't want them to feel weird or feeling like that. Single mom is not either. Yeah, like man, that that's that's rough.

SPEAKER_03 51:38

Um well, and Greg and Jess have both lived in that era of single dad, single mom.

SPEAKER_02 51:43

I went to a concert with you and Damon and a bunch of people. Y'all invited me, and I was like, all right, cool. So I showed up and went with y'all, and then I left with another people. I mean, yeah, y'all were still my friends, though.

SPEAKER_08 52:00

I was like, experiencing it, single dads.

SPEAKER_01 52:07

It was it was amazing.

SPEAKER_03 52:08

But the first question I asked when I realized what was happening, I was like, Is he okay? Is he safe? Like, is he gonna be okay? You have always been concerned for Greg's sake. Can somebody call that guy?

unknown 52:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:23

All right, so I got one more stat here. Okay, um, and this is all from the American crap. I'll say it after because if I scroll, I'll lose my spot in here. But it says that uh an article, a study was done in uh 2014 that life satisfaction was scaled twice as high among people who said that their spouse was one of their best friends. Life satisfaction, just fulfillment in general across all areas, mental health and all that, um, it was twice as high if someone could say that their spouse was their best friend. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:07

I feel like No, Michael and I, I mean, obviously, with our circumstances of you know separation, divorce, we had to kind of relearn that. So I feel like we got a second chance.

SPEAKER_08 53:18

We did it right the second time.

SPEAKER_03 53:19

Yeah, so true. We got a second opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

Wow, it's hard to talk. American Psychological Association.

SPEAKER_04 53:27

We Greg and I have talked before about like if for some ridiculous reason we didn't work out, like I feel like I still he like I still like for some reason if you left or just something didn't work out, I still want to be friends again.

SPEAKER_01 53:44

Yeah, I still have to be friends.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

Like I still want to call you on Friday night and go, you want to grab Mellow Beers? And I wouldn't. Let's go hang out.

SPEAKER_04 53:51

I can't imagine you not being my friend.

SPEAKER_02 53:53

Yeah. And it it is true, but also.

SPEAKER_04 53:56

But also it's really easy for us to get in friend zone and forget that we're just friends. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

It's so I would say, though, like friendship starts with, if you're married, starts with the woman that that you live with.

SPEAKER_00 54:07

Or your spouse.

SPEAKER_02 54:08

But then it's too easy to forget. Yeah, it is be friends with them. And then that friendship, and then allow yourself to because it's so easy to go, well, I work with this guy, we have stuff in common. I'm gonna go play golf with him on every Saturday and spend four hours of my day. As opposed to hanging out with my wife and spending four hours with her. So it's like figuring out what that looks like. Like, Jess is my best friend. Like when something fun or good happens, I'm texting her. When something stupid happens, I'm texting her.

SPEAKER_03 54:36

Something bad or texting Michael when something stupid happens. Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_02 54:39

Yeah, I'm like, bro, look at this. Um it's just it's you know, it it it starts there in the home. Yeah, but it's gonna expand out. And I think there's so the reason we would give a whole podcast for this, because I think there is so much value in good friendships, because like we've said, these roots run so deep throughout our family and our friends, and we're all connected, and it's so powerful.

SPEAKER_04 55:05

Well, I mean, there's correct me if I'm wrong. Is there not a Bible verse that talks about how sweet sweet friendship is like honey to the soul? Yeah, I think it is, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:14

Yeah, it truly is. It really is.

SPEAKER_02 55:16

But it takes work. It's just like your marriage or anything else, any other good relationship. It takes work, and you just gotta be willing to put the work.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

Yeah, yeah. I think that's good.

Spouse As Best Friend And Closing

SPEAKER_02 55:25

So wow. All right. Of course, this was so funny. Yeah, thank y'all for being on the podcast. And again, for all you guys who are listening to us, you can follow us on all the socials. Uh, they're all out there. Patreon is something you can go to. Go check out our Patreon account. There's some different levels there. We have some new fun stuff coming out.

SPEAKER_04 55:44

Go on our website. We have merch now.

SPEAKER_02 55:46

Yeah, go to our website, buy some baggage claim merch.

SPEAKER_04 55:49

Unpacktogether.com.

SPEAKER_02 55:50

Yeah, unpack together.com. Go to the store, buy something.

SPEAKER_04 55:54

I knew the website.

SPEAKER_02 55:55

Yeah. Thank you guys for sharing. We're still growing. We're still uh we're hitting new countries, new cities. Um Singapore. So excited for uh all the fun things that are happening. And so it's just cool. And so thank you guys.

SPEAKER_08 56:12

We've been listening. It's amazing. We've been rooting for you guys, and uh it's so fun.

SPEAKER_02 56:17

I'm so glad you guys chose to do that.

SPEAKER_03 56:19

Thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_02 56:20

So and uh thank you guys for listening. Uh hope you got something out of it. If you did, like it, subscribe, uh, and join us. Anything else? Go dogs. Go dogs.

SPEAKER_01 56:28

There's always go dogs. Don't even say don't say it. No, Michael.

SPEAKER_08 56:35

He's not gonna go.