From Barbershop To Mic Night: A Couple Builds Joy

Your marriage doesn’t need more pressure. It needs more room to breathe. We sit down with our friends Richard and Nibia Conley and the conversation goes everywhere we love: relationships, real-life stress, and the kind of laughter that actually keeps a home together.

Richard shares his road from the railroad and warehouse work to co-owning a barbershop, and how grief became the turning point that pushed him into stand-up comedy. Nibia talks nursing, creativity, and what it’s like to be “the funny one” when everyone expects you to carry the room. We also get into the behind-the-scenes of a comedy class, why writing matters, why delivery can’t be taught, and how two different performance styles can still build one strong partnership.

Along the way, we swap travel stories that include Monaco, Paris, and the kind of lost-luggage panic you can’t plan for. Then we dig into the practical marriage stuff: leaving work at work, leading with the highs instead of constant trauma dumping, handling the emotional load, and setting boundaries with exes and co-parenting drama. The big takeaway we keep coming back to is simple: give your spouse grace, be honest about what you need, and don’t outsource your happiness.

Follow Richard at R Conley Comedy and Nibia at Conley Comedy, and if you’re near Atlanta, catch them at Helium and beyond. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a laugh, and leave a review so more couples can find us.

Transcript

Welcome To Baggage Claim

0:00

Hey guys, what's up? I'm Greg. I hope you guys are ready to unpack and get into some good conversations today. And I'm Jess, and this is our podcast, Baggage Claim. Thank you for joining us. What's up, Baggage Claim? How's everybody doing out there today? Thank you for joining us. If you're new here, uh, welcome. Thanks for listening. Uh Baggage Claim is a place where we hope to create some community conversations around relationships, marriages, and all that fun stuff in between. Uh, if you call Baggage Claim your home, you know the deal. Grab your favorite drink, whatever that is, pull up to the table. Take a deep breath and relax, because today is going to be a fun conversation. Well, it's tonight when we're recording. Yeah. A fun conversation for us. Uh, because I have some two two dear friends here uh today. And we just invited fun. Well, we talked about fun last week. We invited fun to the table this week. So, Jess, would you like to introduce our uh two guests tonight? Yes, I want to introduce everyone in the baggage clean community to our black friends. Please welcome to the show. Richard and Nibia Conley. Thanks for having us, our guests. Is that okay? Can I do that? Oh my gosh. So thanks for being on the thanks for being here tonight. Um I think we've said we've been we've been friends for a while. Um and so I think we we m met at an old barber shop, previous one. Correct. Um but before we get into all the what you do and our relationship and all that, just tell tell the people out there listening. Now don't be I mean, don't be alarmed. We have a huge listening audience in Singapore. Really? Which is kind of interesting. That's very interesting. Yeah. So there's We don't understand it. It's like Gainesville, the city where we live, Flower Branch, this is a city nearby, and then no, there's like no Atlanta and then Singapore. Oh yeah. And now Vietnam's creeped up there. Really? Yeah, it's really interesting. A lot of listeners in India and like you know what y'all are? Yeah. No. Like noise. Um, you're bringing the jokes all the way. Okay, we'll introduce yourself, Danny, Richard. Go for it. My name is Richard Connolly. Co-owner operate the renegade barbershop. Mercy. And I promise you I'm not racist. Um, we're not gonna use our words. All right, go ahead. That's it? That's it. And I do stand-up comedy on the side. That's that's pretty much all I got. That's what I do. How about you better have? I am Nibia Conley. I am a registered north spot day and a comedian at night and married to this folder. To that guy. I got points because I knew how to spell your name and say. You did, girl. I got a lot of points. You did. Major points. So can I? I have a question. So, what do you think you can bring to the table, the organization, in two years, five years? Where do you see yourself? If you checked my resume, you know I'm quit. The first time. I'm a quench. I got haircuts. I'll cut you here. That's it. Okay, great. That's all I got. I mean, that's solid. So I I mean really what made you guys get into I'm really curious about the barber thing though,

Meet Richard And Nibia Conley

3:40

too, because you've been how long have you been a barber? Licensed and cutting hair professionally for 10 years as of April this year. Okay, so did we meet when you first started? Yeah. Was that your first place? That was actually like my fourth place. Okay. But at the time we was living in Bradlington, and I was like, I got tired of driving to North Cross in Lawrenceville. I'm gonna see what they got here. Okay. And the men's room at the time was it. Yeah. So well, yeah. That was it. And that's where I that's where I cut my teeth in. And because yeah, because you and I met on accident, kind of like I some other girl lady had been cutting my hair. She was busy. And that place is really close to where we lived at that. Yeah, it was right around the corner from where we lived. And so um I just went in and they were like, hey, this guy's in. I was like, yeah, I'll go scroll. I didn't realize it was just that. What did you do before? Before that, I was a maintenance technician in warehouses. And before that, I was worked on the railroad. What in the world? I didn't know that. So you've been you've done it all. Yeah. Yeah. So, Nivia, how about you? How long have you been in nursing? Um, since I was 19 years old. Oh, wow. Other than I worked at Bath and Body Works for two days when I was 16. Two days. Two days. I think that'd be about to be a good thing. And then I I realized I was like, hey, I don't really care if anybody buys anything. Anything. So I'm not sure. And most of it does not smell good. No, when my friends came in and they were going to the movies, I was like, you know what? I'm going to the movies tonight. Quick girl. And that was it. Yeah. Yeah. Night. Wow. So you've been like you just found your your passion, your love. My mother's a nurse. So as a single girl, that's for the way you go make a living. I wanted to design window displays. Really? I wanted to go to the art institute. Wow, that'd be so fun. This is when I was a kid. This is I'm older. I'm 40. So my parents get the paper every day. Mama said, okay, well, you can do that. We're going to take the paper and see how many jobs there are for that. And then we'll go from there. Freaking quit being practical. So there were no jobs. No, we're being practical. That's a great strategy, but there were no jobs. She was like, So since you won't have a job, where will you try to do it? Whatever. Take the bus, but where are you going to live? I gotta go to school for something else. But that's a great strategy rather than just telling you you're not gonna make any money. As a starving artist. Right. Nice. I like that strategy.

Jobs Paths And Early Ambition

6:05

That's actually pretty cool. So how did you how did you guys meet? Online. Yeah. Really? He tried to date one of my friends. On a dirty date nap. On a dirty date nap. He tried to date one of my friends. I did. And he lied about his height. My brother and sister-in-law met. I'm sorry, what'd you say? He lied about his height. I never said I was six foot. He said he was like 5'11. Like a stand-alone. No. My brother and sister-in-law met on a dating app, and uh Thomas and Miranda did too. In a roundabout way. Well, yeah. She swiped no. She said no to me and said yes to my best friend. So it's the pilot. The pilot guy. I wanted to swipe on the pilot too. Thomas had a picture of him holding a fish on his profile. It was a good fish. That guy was not cool. That guy was not cool. Well, he'd only like involved me in the middle of the night. Now I was in my 20s, so I was out and available for conversation in the middle of the night. Okay. But when your messages are only coming in in the middle of the night, that tells a story. Yeah, I'm like, this guy's married, which he was, but that was a solid point. He worked night shift. I worked night shift. Okay. I found about the wife later. Yeah. We will talk about that. All right, let's get in with that. That sounds fun. We were separated. So it was nothing there. Okay. It was nothing there. I was talking to her. All right, so you were married before. Were you married? No. Okay. All right, cool. So I don't cool. I don't know what the hell is that. I didn't need no. I didn't need no unnecessary trauma. Yes. Brought on by no baby daddies or no other virgin. Yep. Hey, congratulations. I did some very extraneous. Very extreme research. All right, so you guys, you guys met online. How long before you guys were married? We dated for eight months. He took me to Paris, asked me to marry him, planned our wedding for a year, and here we are. I would have said yes to Paris. I don't care how long I married. You know, she didn't want to go to Paris. What? She wanted to. No, we're talking about Paris like Georgia or like Paris France. There's a Paris. Like the Bifle Tower. Okay. Like the real deal. Like the real deal. She did not want to. Well, I didn't know how much. Listen. Listen. This was Railroad Richard. This guy was different. Railroad Richard. Railroad. Railroad Richard was different. He just said to me, let's go on a trip. Okay. Okay, so I'm not sure. You thought like maybe Florida? I wanted to go to Monticello, which is Thomas Jefferson slave plantation. Exactly. Okay. And then to the skin. Exactly. And geographically, I'm from Albany, Georgia. She's from Camilla. Okay. When she said Monticello, the first thing I was thinking, Monticello, Florida, where the doll track is. So the first thing. You're gonna take me to the dog track. She was like, oh fool. Thomas, uh, Thomas Jefferson Plantation. I said, Oh, you wanna take me to No, we ain't doing that either. So my ex-wife is from Virginia. I didn't want to, I didn't want to step foot in there. But then I asked her, I said, Well, do you have a passport? And she was like, No. But she said, Yeah, dude, whatever. So either way, I said, where do you I said, where do you want to go? I said, give me two days now, think about it. I came back, I said, You wanna go to uh I said Monaco at first. She was like, Ooh, Monaco? Yeah, really. So how long have y'all been dating or whatever at that point? It had been from January to that was like no, no, no. Like my like February. Because he sent me gifts for my birthday, but we weren't like official. So pretty quick. Yeah, so we were It was a whirlwind. Like seven months. Well, I have a I have a story after you're done. So I think friends, yeah. So it was about seven months, and we did this trip on two weeks' notice. So I said, Monaco, and she was like, okay, so we got looking, she was like, I said, how far? What's another plane ride from Monaco to Paris? She was like, Where's this? So she was like, Nope. They have a six-hour train ride that would take us from Monaco to Paris by train. That's that sounds cool. It was very cool. And I was like, it's probably cheaper. So let's do that. Yes. So she sounds pretty cool, too. We booked all of this stuff two weeks' notice. We get over there, boom, Monaco. That was my part of the trip. Dude.

Dating Apps Paris And A Proposal

10:55

Jay-Z city. Dude, what a player, man. You go Monaco and then take a train ride to Paris? Oh, yeah. Bro, come on, man. We won $500 at the casino there, the line in college. Oh shit. Okay. And I immediately cashed that shit out and we got here. Our not as extravagant story. I known Greg for probably like four weeks, and he asked me if I had a passport. And I'm like, no, I don't have a passport. Why do I need a passport? He said, Well, before the end of the year, I'm gonna take you out of the country. And I'm like, No, you're not. I just met you. I probably said it the wrong way. I probably didn't say it the way I should have. Right. Like, hey, we can go on a trip together, not like I'm taking you out of the country. Literally, that's what I'm saying. Like trafficking you or something. We got married in five minutes, but yeah. Right. Yeah, but Jess had never left. She literally never left the U.S. No. So she had never been outside. And I was like, are you kidding me? Like you've never been anywhere? No. She'd only flown on the plane maybe twice. Yeah, the furthest I'd flown was Michigan. Yeah. Wow. Michigan and Florida. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, we gotta go do something. Wow. Yeah. So where did we end up going? Uh Belize. I love Belize. Yeah. So the mosquitoes tore my ass up. We were on a little remote island that was like literally the whole around was like a mile. It was a little dive. I don't know how we've it was so freaking cheap. Um I used to travel a lot, and so I had a lot of airplane miles. And so I was like, we'll just get our I'll get our tickets with our miles, and then I'll pay for the we spent more on our wedding than we spent on our I think our honeymoon was maybe like sixteen hundred bucks for seven days, and it was all inclusive on this island. They met us on a little boat at this marina, drove us 20 miles out in the or 20 minutes out in the middle of the ocean. You couldn't see landing. Where in the hell are we going? Get this island, and there's like, hey, there's this statue. This is where you're staying for the week. And I was like, okay. Amazing. It was really cool. We had a blast. That was the first time I'd ever left the country. That was a good place to go. It was. We look back at going to that same place. We're like, I smell it shells back from Belize. And water. I did too. And water. I smoke it back water. Water? Because it was so clear. It was beautiful. Yeah, I did. So beautiful. And so you do not come and arrest me. Do not come and arrest me. That statement is redundant. I thought I brought my malaria back on my body. You tease me about those. Girl, I was tore up from the mosquito. Oh, and it didn't activate until the plate landed in Atlanta. I just started to fall at once. It was terrible. That's crazy. We didn't run into mosquitoes there. No. But that's kind of how we that's like we she had never really done any traveling. But I mean, I didn't pull out Monaco and Paris. I mean, bro. Come on. Man, I don't want to. That's next level. I heard Jay-Z say he wanted to go somewhere where mosquitoes was not at. From somebody who from Albany to Georgia, Georgia, I didn't want no gnats, no nothing. Yeah.

Travel Chaos And Lost Luggage

13:50

And I just wanted a really nice trip. Yeah. And we get there and they lose our luggage. And I'm fat in a foreign country. I'm fat in a foreign country. Well, that means I ain't got no panties. No panties. No panties. No panties. As she had this short haircut, and she had to use the panties that she had on. I had decisions to make. Decisions to make. I don't mind. You didn't need them anyway. I know Downs were tired of me calling them. I was calling them every 15 minutes. What the hell is my bag? That's one thing we got over here. Ain't no clothes and ain't no panties. Everybody over there is tiny. Everybody's shiny over there. We never lost luggage, but when we got rerouted from Mexico to Denver, I did not trust that our luggage was going to meet us there. Well, I knew our luggage wasn't going to make it. With our connecting flight, when we sat down, I said, there's no way our luggage is on this plane. We ran to the plane in New York. Because we flew from Atlanta to New York to New York to Paris. Yeah, gotcha. We ran to the to the plane. And by that time, it was like, whatever. Yeah. I just watched what I had on and wore it a couple days. Oh my. So so how did you guys get in? So you you met, you're you're nursing, you're barber. How did you guys get into comedy? And when did that start? And what kind of led you to

Comedy Sparked By Grief

15:10

get into that or travel down that road? And who who started it? That was me. Okay. Right. So 20 uh November 2022, I had my I guess I can kind of say it like my my comedy comes from the tragedy. Okay. Because November 2022, I lost a really close family member. My little cousin, three years younger than me, he passed. And I had to deal with that. A couple of months later, his dad had a stroke from just dealing with everything. Last time I saw my uncle was March 18th, 2023. He died that August. So in between that time, she was sitting there and she was like, I couldn't tell anything wrong with you. So Father Day is coming up. My birthday is in August. And I was like, She was like, what do you want for your birthday? I didn't, well, Father Day. And I was like, I didn't know. So I just got online and just kept looking. I ordered his book offline called How to Kill in Stand Up Comedy. Okay. Now I'm not a I'm not a I can't read a book and learn something. I'm not that guy. I'm a visual. So I found this comedy class in Atlanta and I signed up for it. And that's kind of how it went. So you just literally stumbled across that book. And then he kept talking about that class, and I gave it to him as a gift. Okay. So initially I was like, I want you to do this with me. Okay, no, no, no. I don't want to overshadow what you're trying to do and da da da da and all this stuff. I was like, I'm not worried about that. This is something that I think we do together. So she was like, whatever. So of course, my wife being my wife waits two weeks before the class starts. It's like, hey, you think he'll let me in? I said, call him. So she called him and she got into the class. Now, the first week, uh, we do the introduction and all this stuff. She's in Belize. I was in a hammock. So we were in a hammock so much in Belize on the front porch of our little hut thing that we brought one home. Yeah, I bought that thing. Brought it home. But dude, we got pulled out, we got pulled to the side when we came back from Belize. They like took all our shit out. And went through all our stuff when we came home from Belize. Yeah, it was weird. We were lost. That's never happened to me. Wow. It was weird. They thought we had something we didn't need. And I had that water and I went straight through. I had a hammock and some seashells, and they tried to they kept us for two hours. I did too. That's why they stopped you. That's what it was. We looked guilty. Thugs. Sorry. Didn't mean distracted. So the class comes up. You two weeks ahead of time said, I want to go to the class. I want to go do that. I'm going to go do the class with you. Okay. We get into the class. Now I've had three months to promote this thing. Uh-huh. Now y'all know everybody who knows me. Well I told him I said, I'm doing this thing. Everybody was like, we coming. It don't matter. But mind you, in the class, we're we sit together the entire time. Uh-huh. And I'm naturally like introverted and quiet. Me being funny is like a girl. It's easier for me to be quiet than for me to speak. I mean, it is me too, though. So it's it's almost like a defense mechanism. Really? Yeah. You would never know. No, I would never know that about it. It's unbelievable, but trust me. It is very unbelievable. She is quiet. I am too, but we're sitting in this room with these people, and we're sitting together. We're our our partners. And I'm watching them and I'm like, this is tragic. This is not gonna go well at all. Terrible. This is this is gonna be bad really bad. Really bad. And they're thinking, like, I don't know what they're thinking about us because we're just talking to each other the whole time. And I'm like, I know that I'm really funny. I know that he's funny, but y'all are not funny. This is not gonna go well. And so they're like the final rehearsal. I remember the instructor telling me, like, you're gonna have to get that together by that night. And I'm like, sir, I'm not gonna say none of this shit that night. Right. No idea. And and so it that that was it. So basically we go, the class is six weeks long. Every week you have to show up with a different joke, and that's how you build a set. Okay. And they have these writers that'll come in and they'll tweak your stuff. So hold on. You you you have your you have your script. Yes. And then you bring it in and they adapt it or change it or tell you what you need to change. Really? Wow. Okay. And I hated that. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That sounds hard. It was terrible. Okay. Like the jokes that I want to tell, they wouldn't let me tell because they're like, that's not a graduation night joke. I'm like, I'm like, what are you talking about? So now we hear everybody's set while this is going on. Right. Now this is like the fourth or fifth joke we get to, and I was like, I think this is funny. But they was like, no. We're not gonna do that. You have performed with these same writers. Yeah. And they're not funny comedians. Well, yeah, I was just about to ask, who are these people that are telling each other when we turn this camera off? We're not gonna say names on here. We're not gonna say names on here. When we turn the camera off, we'll tell you. So, and we kind of go through this thing. I'm getting mad at this point because you won't let me be myself. Right. And I have a railroad joke, and they want me to get out there and say in front of my family that I'm a transporter who is loading luggage and doing this thing and wearing this black suit and all this stuff. Where I didn't do any of that on the railroad. I refuse to. And we go through this thing, and I looked at her. The last plan, I'm like, this ain't gonna work. You know, we're gonna get up there, we gotta let this fly. And so it gets down to graduation night, and I go fifth. She goes twelfth. So I get up there, and now the first four people go, you know, to introduce, hey, I walk

Stand-Up Class Writing And Ego

21:05

on stage, the place goes crazy. I got clients sitting up front, I got the entire barber shop sitting over here, I got my mom and them, my in-laws, everybody here. I walk on stage and I high five, my guy, and I go through these jokes, and it was really good. I was like, I'm happy. And then we get the 12th. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Blew the roof off the place, right? So we got, and she was like, I don't even know what to talk about. We get home and I don't know what to talk about. I don't know what to talk about. So I said, Well, talk about this, talk about this, talk about this, talk about this. And so she was like, But why do I gotta talk about that? You telling me you have nothing to talk about. It's like telling me you have nothing to wear. Right. Right, oh yeah. Right. Anytime uh the the the what works for us with with jokes It's very toxic. It's very so if I bring it to him and he shoots it down, that means use it. Oh, okay. So that means it Using that's very simple. Because I've I brought things to him, and he has been like, that is not going to work. What we got from backtracking, what we got from our comedy class is how to write. Okay. Not how to execute it. Because nobody can teach you to be funny. That's not something that you can be taught. Absolutely not. Your delivery, nothing like that can be taught. And I'm like, I put people on like the worst days of their lives. And I still find something to laugh about. Right. And I say it in the same cadence. I behave the same way all the time. And to be when you say, okay, I'm gonna be the funny girl in the room, that is a taxing job. That means no days off. If I show up and I ain't got shit to say, everybody's like, oh my God, what's wrong with that? We don't like it like this. What's happening? So it's a it's a big responsibility. I can see that. Huge. So was the the the stand-up thing was like it was second nature, and we really did not need the class. We didn't need it. We didn't need it. It got him in his head. Yeah. But definitely got him in his head. Thinking too much. So I didn't I didn't like that for him. Well, we went to one of your shows here at a place where we live. It's kind of an interesting place. If you're engaged, it was like a highlighter in there. I was completely out of place. Greg and I were completely out of place in there. I felt weird in that place. I know you had to. I did. I had to. Where did you bring me? What the hell is this? Nick and freaky in there. It's not like hard rock concert. That place is weird, dude. It's its own vibe. It's its own vibe. We have a dedicated community that really love it. All leather. Yes, yeah. Yes. Yeah, but the four of us sitting at this table are not part of that community. Absolutely not. No. No. No. I'm in because we literally were having dinner, and I was like, we're going to see Richard Nibia. They are literally performing two blocks from here. We're going to watch them. We'd never been to this place before in our lives. And we walked in, it was like everything. He had a friend that was like hosting the show. And so I'm like, I knew. I'm like, I'm never doing this again. Absolutely. I'll never be back in here today. And that was the first time I had met you in real life. Like we had heard a lot about each other, but that was the first time I met you, Nibia, in real life. Really? Well, I guess so, yeah. Yeah. But and I I'm sorry, Richard. But um after the after both of y'all's sets, I ran into you when I was going to the ladies' room and you were backstage, and I was like, with all the love in my heart, Nibia is funnier than you. And I I always say the same thing. We got a droid banking account. If she makes a million dollars, I'll make a million dollars. Yeah, that's exactly right. 100%. I mean, but you know, we like to say it's two different styles. It is very two different. I was like, but I don't when people say I'm like, she she's the better performer. I'm the better writer. Yes, I can see that. Yeah, 100%. Because I'm not gonna tell a joke until it's like 100% Perfected. Perfect. And I'll be like, let's ride. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And see, that's and like she said, that's what that class did for me. It made me feel like I had to read from the script, and that ain't who I that ain't who I am. Right. Well, it's like we talked about the story you talked about, the um the mannequin or the the blow-up. The sex doll. The sex doll, yes. Uh we talked about I we still talk about that. It is hilarious. We were walking back to our car just laughing times. I was like, there's no way that's a true story. And I was like, that is freaking hilarious. Like it's so funny. And I think that's what makes comedy so good is like, hey, I'm just sharing life. Like this this shit really happened. When it's relatable. And his thoughts are organized. Like he tells a story, and I'm literally like all over the that's a great way to describe it though, because you definitely tell a story and there's a buildup to the the punchline or whatever the case may be, whatever the words are, I don't know.

Marriage That Runs On Laughter

26:05

You got it right. And then and then you tell the rest of the story. You definitely, Nibbya, are just like pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. Yeah. Okay, so comedy is something you guys connect with, correct? How does that work in home like is that a is that a good thing for your marriage? Is that a tension, or is that like uh when I say that, yeah. I'm curious to hear the response. Those faces are priceless. We spend the majority of our time laughing. Our relationship is really probably unhealthy. It's very well we laugh a lot. There's a lot of laughter. So why do you think that's unhealthy? We we s we we list we read questions last night and we had to think about like when was the last time we had a fight? Yeah. And I'm like, are we missing something or we just play too much? I think we play too much. There's nothing wrong with that. We we don't quote unquote fight. Like we don't have arguments. We don't laugh as I mean we laugh at each other. We laugh at each other more than anything. Because I'm usually an idiot and I'm usually saying something stupid or doing something dumb and Jess is laughing at me. Right. So there's nothing wrong with laughter, and there's nothing wrong with not having a real answer of like when's the last time you had a fight. Because even if you have a discussion that's uncomfortable, we I mean everybody does since we're all grown-ups. It doesn't have to turn into a fight. It can turn into being absolutely ridiculous. Yeah. I mean and having kids, like we'll be sitting there arguing, then you got two kids running around with a Leotard on and a Cinderella dress. Yep. You can't be serious in that moment. Right. Right. So how many uh like how many kids do you guys have? Two. Two. Okay. So do you have any of your now? I have a three. Three, so I have a my oldest 21-year-old. Okay. How old are your girls? They're young. Six and eight. Yeah, six and eight. They're low eighth on their own. I could imagine. They for sure are problems. So you guys are in the thick of it. Like you got a lot going on right now. Oh, yeah. So wow. So I man. Go ahead. You got a question? I don't. I'm I'm really curious though, like you you say you we don't fight a lot, but we have that. Like, how do you manage the tension of nursing, barbershop, comedy, kids? How do you do all that and still find the laughter and all of that? And not find the tension in it. And maybe you do, and that's okay too. Well, I I'll say up until recently, Nibia, though, your schedule has was like long days for a couple days at a time. Long, miserable days. Right, right. And I'd imagine, Richard, your schedule gets long some days too. Yep, and a lot of sacrifice. We don't like I would say that we are a traditional

Work Stress Boundaries And Support

28:46

couple, but I know when she's tired. I know when I gotta cook, I know when I have to do these things. You be cooking. Yes, I do. Okay. I don't be cooking all cooking. So hold on. What's your favorite? What's your favorite thing to cook? Me? Yeah, what's your go-to? Recently I made some I made some fried rice. And some some some what it was, yeah, some chicken fried rice. That's one of Greg's specialties, too. I love some chicken. I didn't say I cook all the kind. He's like, come on now. I didn't say that. But I know when it like you come home, it's like you want something, you don't want to be bothered, and I get that. And I go ahead and take that up. Girls be bathed, be upstairs, and you don't be in the car and I'm alone there. I don't want to well, we typically don't dump our day stuff. Like we'll hit the highs for the day and we keep it moving with work. Like we leave work at work. Yep. Like it's and also with the nursing thing, if anything I tell him, he will come back with a diagnosis and he'll be like, oh, I had atrial fibrillation today. Like he'll have the shit that he says to me. So I don't talk about nothing nurse-related. But I think that's a green. But I think that's a really good point of view, though, is to make sure you lead with the highs. Oh, yeah. Because I think anybody could fall into the trap of just coming home to just trauma dump on your significant. I mean, I'm a teacher, and I know people are like, oh, you sing songs and play games. No, I don't. It's hard. It's hard to be a teacher just because of my own job, but then what I deal with with the children in my care and what I know about their home lives, and there's a lot. It's heavy stuff. Well, I volunteer and I'm in the PTA. You have an awful job. It's hard. Kids are a lot. Yeah. So they're mamas a lot. That's a lot. Yeah, because mamas their their babies don't do wrong. Right. And they do. They be dead wrong. So I mean, there are da I mean I do dump like trauma dump real quick, but I try to like, especially because we have our kids and granddaughter over often. And I try to make sure and lead with the funny things or the cute things or so and so made some really good progress. I mean, they all know the children in my class. They don't know their faces, but they know their names and what I'm dealing with. So I I really like that point of view of trying to lead with the good because i I feel like if you try to do that on a daily basis, it makes you look for good rather than trying to, you know, dodge the bad. You made a statement the other day. You said something or not the other day, just a few minutes ago, about you know, we we laugh a lot, we have a lot of fun. We're we're completely this I th I think we talked about even last week. I think that's a huge missing part of a lot of marriages. I agree. It's almost like I I have a roommate. Uh we're we talked about that last week too, about how laughter changes your blood pressure, how it changes all these chemicals in your mind. And I'm gonna be, you know, like I can say this like me, I'm I'm probably the most antisocial introvert and that you don't, you're never gonna you ever meet. Really? I don't like leave my house. She'll tell you that. But the social butterfly over here. I'd learn to leave him there. You stay at the house, I'll be back. Right, but this is but this is the point. Like, I don't, I'm very unbothered by a lot of things because it's just dealing with what's going on in my house. Right. I'll take on the energy that's in my house. But with her, she takes on all her homegirls' energy, her family, everybody dunks on her. So I don't want to add to that. Right. So that that's the main reason why I'm I don't I don't want to bother her because I know she's dealing with a lot of other people's shit. Right. I like to hear the tea. You do? It's my problem. See, I have a thing. Do you like to add to the tea or just hear the tea? I just like to sip it. There's no real sipping. I have a group of friends of we talked about like I there's usually like three people and there was a reel or something that my friend sent me. It was like, are you the are you the clueless one? Are you the one with the tea or are you the one that adds to the tea? I'm typically the clueless one. Like, I don't want to be in it, but I want to just dip my toe in it. Like I want to know. I'm getting there while it's hot. Are you? Oh, so you're like hot out the press, like first one. I'm gonna investigate. And I told Jess the other day, they're delivering the tea to me. Like, she's heard she heard some tea. She hears some tea about school. Yeah, and I'm gonna be sharing some things, and he starts asking me detailing. So then I'm into it. I'm bought into it. I'm like, all right. So what's happening with so-and-so? I don't know. I know that much. That's what I have. She's me. She's me. Because my wife will be, I tell her something. She's like, well, why did this? She got like 10 more follow-up questions. Because I'm telling the historian, you ain't you can't say that's Greg. I don't I don't know. Greg will be like, okay, well then you need to text so-and-so and ask what they know about this. I'm like, no. We're not no. Yeah. And then uh then all of a sudden there's this tease build about so-and-so is getting this or they're getting that. And I was like, so what's happened? Nothing. It's like you need to follow up on this shit.

Tea Culture And Barber Shop Truths

33:55

Like, I didn't know what's happening. Like, I didn't even know how this plays out. And I'm just like, I'm gonna stay clueless until they just see me on accident. Exactly. Like, I'm yeah. I'm a barber, I hear everything. You are you doing it? I hear everything. I'm cheeky. Is it barber? Kind of like I know this probably because you've never done hair stuff. But like, I mean, if you want to hear the tea, the the place where you get your hair done is where you hear the tea for the women for the ladies. Oh, you hear it in a barber should be a little bit. So it's got to be the barber shop the same way. The same thing. Okay. Great. We don't gossip before either. Yeah, we talked a lot. Whenever I used to, I obviously have not gotten a haircut in a long time. Hey, look at that. Look at that bug up there. I got a mop on me right now. But when I used to go get my hair cut, I would learn stuff about the fire department I had never heard of. No. Because there was a lot of fire guys that came through and sat in the barber chair. He'd be like, You hear this and this? I was like, No. And then Thomas would be texting immediately. Thanks, Thomas. Yeah, Thomas Thomas literally looks like he just stepped out of a transam in the seven on his way here. Thomas looked like every 24-year-old dude right now. Right. Especially every 24-year-old firefighter. You can see a firefighter from a mile away. Like they stand out. Just the mustache. Yeah. The mustache and the hair. Just the mustache. Yeah, it's like, bro, come on. They should never, none of them should have mustache. None of them.

Exes Co-Parenting And Protection

35:20

None of them. None of them. None of them. I can't say nothing else, just none of them. So by exclaim, we talk about, I mean, we we address the kind of the elf in the room. Sometimes we talk about blended families, and you have because when we met, I had Callie and Cody, she had Thomas and Ear, and we we combined all this together. There's sometimes a lot of tension in that. Did you guys find a lot of tension when you guys came together, like dealing with exes, dealing with all that stuff? Or how did you guys do that? Sorry, I kept her away from it. Okay. I dealt with it. How? Tell me. I just she never had to deal with her. Okay. Never had to deal with it. And the baby mama would, she she does, she did with my ex-wife and she did it with her. She'll call her and say, hey, he's not doing such and such and such and such. She called me and I was like, she was like, well, she just called me and she just said this. I was like, okay. And she was like, what should I do? I was like, call her back and cuss her out. Say less. Say less. I don't care. I have no other than the fact that she's the mother of my child. Nothing. Right. Yeah. We had one conversation. Oh, really? Just that one. Oh, wow. Wow. Right. I don't talk to her like that. Like, my daughter has her own phone since she was 12. I paid for it. I could talk to her when I wanted to. Right. I didn't talk to her mom. It was a little odd for me because I hadn't, I had like a a strict, I'm not gonna date anybody with a child thing. Okay. But he was funny. And I I I liked him, so I fell for that. Right. And I was like, this was a terrible idea. This is why I had this rule. There you go. But it it worked out. Yeah. Nice. I would say so. A little bit. A little bit. Yeah, and you have your own two little princesses now. I don't know what you call that. Perfect is what you call it. We're having we have a good time. And they are so funny. They are so funny. They can't help it. Unintentionally. And I'm just like, what are we doing wrong? Nothing. Why is this happening? Nothing. If they don't, if they're at six and eight and they already don't take their themselves too seriously, then you're doing it right. At all. You're doing it wrong. You know, it's kind of crazy. Like I was watching uh Lucy was out today and I was loading some stuff in the truck and we're out and it starts raining. Well, she's she gets on a little manhole cover and she's just dancing. She's so happy and so excited. And I'm looking at her going, man, why I I mean, as crazy as it is, she's excited just to be outside, just to be here. Stumping in a puddle so many times, man. I was like, we can learn so much from our kids. Absolutely. We just watch them and be like, dude, just enjoy life. Like it's fun. Like, enjoy it. We get so caught up in all the other crap that's going on. Well, even in dinner this evening, she was sitting in her high chair. Thomas was playing literally toddler rave music on the speaker, and we were all just dancing, and she was dancing with us and a ball eating her dinner. I'm like, I want her to always feel like that. Yeah. I don't want her to take herself too seriously because I mean I've done that for a lot of years and I'm still guilty of that. Well, there's enough there's enough stuff in life that's gonna suck all the fun and all the other crap out of our lives and make us so serious that we're just we're focused on those things. Yeah. I just worry about them being like uh tell him them being the funny girl because like I said, it's a lot of work to be that girl. Right. And I I see, I see it, and they're so they're really, really like good at it, and they're so funny. Like even with us, they're like, oh, you think you're funny? Everybody knows that you know, Ryan tells the best jokes. Like, they don't think we're funny, they're each other's favorite comedians. I mean, because I'm not funny, I've never thought about it that way. They do not be. They are not fans of either one of us. Are you going to tell jokes again? Nobody's gonna

Kids Joy And Real Marriage Advice

39:25

be there. That's funny. Are you gonna tell my joke? No, we're not gonna tell you. It's the better than any joke that you have. That's funny. So I I would love to hear if you guys have some advice, dolls, for couples out there, no matter where they're at, in what stage of marriage they may be in. If they're just starting out, they've been in this for a while, they're in blended family, not like what's your kind of your nugget for marriage, like that just makes it work for you guys you want to share with us? I'm gonna say give your spouse some grace. Like, um I'm I'm I was a grown woman when he met me, and I couldn't change things about him. I'm gonna give you an example. I like fresh flowers. I like them every week. And I'd mentioned that to him. But I'm like, you know what? I really not only like fresh flowers, I like to go get them myself. And I like to arrange them for myself. So the pieces that you can do for yourself to make yourself happy, don't put that off on your spouse. Give them a grace. Now he occasionally does it on his own, right? But I don't like expect that from him. He's funny, he makes me feel good in other ways. And never forget to laugh. Every day that we wake up on this side, oh, true. But it it could be a whole lot worse. See, on this side, I think fresh flowers are a waste of money. But she hates it. I don't know. Girl, I love them. I think that that's amazing. I love them. But like for him, not I'm not being ugly and I'm not bashing you, but like gift giving is not his gift. It's not a gift. So, like, thank you for for Mother's Day or birthday or Christmas, I will literally say, I will send it to him. This is what I want. When do you want me to buy it? Okay, for Mother's Day, you actually said, This is what I want. Can I order it? Well, yeah. And I was like, sure. Yeah. So I was just okay. I was bad for me, but I do. I was like, yes, ma'am. I did learn that gift giving is not his thing, but I do like to receive gifts. So if I can just in a roundabout way make it be quote unquote from him, I'm still happy. And you still pay for it. So he still pays for it. I mean, yeah. Like that love language book, I never read it. He had read it. Right. But he still will like, he gave me like a deck of cards with affirmations on it. There you go. That is not really the girl I am. Okay. Okay, but she posts affirmations on Facebook and everywhere, every day. But those are from me to me. I'm like, those from those are from me to you. We did the whole love language like quote inventory or whatever, and like it was very specific for me. And for Greg, he scored even in every category. I'm like, well, that's not helpful. Jess got pissed, and I was like, just do something. That's all you gotta do. Just do one. You just show up and do one of those, and I'll be happy. Like, you don't have to do any of them. I'm gonna go with whatever. Yeah. So it was it's very interesting. So But really, the bottom line is you have to know yourself and you have to know each other. That's the main thing. That's the main thing. Yeah, because it's crazy. Like you love flowers, and I'm like, Jess hates flowers. Like I would never get her flowers, but it just goes to show you, like, there's no cookie cutter answer for couples. It's like, no, figure it out. And she told me something years ago, and that's what that's what I hang on to. She said, Two people will never love each other at the same time the same way. Oh. Oh, wow. Okay, that's a nugget. Yeah. For sure. I feel like love goes like this. And if somebody wakes up a bitch every morning, and I don't know. I'm not a morning girl. Okay. Don't wake me up. We wake up organically. There you go. He's like swiping your butt crack. Okay. How else am I gonna wake up other than angry? That's amazing. I need a minute when I wake up too. I'm not I'm not ugly, but I'm just like, I'm not ready to talk. And I'm not ugly either. I'm just unresponsive. I just play together. That's pretty much me. I'm pretty much unresponsive. Yeah, that's true. Very true. Yeah. It is what it is, huh? It is. See, we all live the same life. And you you made that statement earlier. You said we're all we're all in the same boat. Absolutely. All live in the same. And it's so true. Like, and we we talked about we all have baggage, we all have crap, we all have stuff we deal with. It's just different times, different places, different scenarios a little bit here and there, but it's pretty much the same crap. Oh, yeah. We're just all we're all in it. I know people that well people always say what, m money With change things. A rich ass client. Like this, he's rich. And him and his wife don't get along. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So money don't money don't fix nothing. Yeah, they ain't gonna solve it. They don't solve it. Yeah, yeah. Can I ask a good question? Sure. You know, you're talking about the importance of getting to know each other. A lot of times there can be awkwardness involved in learning and trying to get to know each other. What advice would you have for couples who need to get to know each other? How did y'all do that? It should not be that hard. Yeah. It was organic. He made me feel like home from the beginning. And I had dated a lot of people, but it was just something about him that I was comfortable very, very early. Like I felt like I could be myself, even down to being funny. I'd always, like I said, I'm I'm naturally quiet. But I remember going to dinner with him and my friends and just like unleashing. Unleashing at the table. People were tapping me the entire time. I didn't know who that was her. You're used to this. You're new. This is her. This is who I am. Because I'm like, well, hell, let me do this too. So that's pretty much. And then like the friend that I tried to talk to first, who was six foot, and I'm not, that's why she didn't she didn't like me. But uh we were there, and I was like, it was from that point on, I was like, oh, you that and she was like, yeah, that's who she is. And I was like, cool. And she was like, Well, I said, that's who I am too. Nice. And it was from that moment on where it was, we're just off and running. That's so cool. I love that. That's awesome. Because again, like, I'm from Albany, Georgia. She's from her family's from the next town over. Right. And a lot of people can't understand what I say sometimes. I'm just translator. But she gets it. And she knows when I get pissed, I'm gonna sound like boom house. But she she gets it. Yeah. And she understands that about me. But again, like the two things you can do, you gotta be real with each other. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta, she knew when I showed up, and I told her, I said, I got a great work ethic, and I give you up my entire heart. Yeah. Because I ain't got shit else. Yeah. Not right now. She knew the whole situation. She knew about the ex. She knew everything. And I told her, I'm just gonna, and she knew that from that day I gave her everything that I had. And I kind of learned how to love her. And what made her go and what she needed. Right. Because she's always been this creative girl, but when she got married, she decided well, we met, she wanted to go back to school to be a nurse. The RN. I mean. Right. And I was like, damn. She turned into fool mommy. I thought I was gonna start partying and hanging out and shit. But she did what she needed to do immediately for us. Right. That was it. And I knew from then on, I was like, I ain't going to worry about that. Ain't nobody else gonna do this. Not for me. Yeah. That was good. Dude, that's awesome. So would you say showing up to be your authentic self? Oh yeah. But then communicating what you actually need and want. And it should feel good and it should be easy. It should be. It shouldn't be a forced thing. If it's forced, it's that's probably not your person. Right. And what's what's funny is nobody in her family like it's definitely not who you need to be with. Really? Yes. Oh wow. Friends and everybody. They they thought it was a fling. They thought it was. Oh wow. I mean, I thought it was a one-nighter, but this thing was fired out of control.

Where To Follow And See Them

47:36

13 years. I love it. Well, all right. So tell everybody out there where they can catch you guys at, where they can hear your stuff, where they can follow up, hear some of your comic stuff, or just and give us give us the the stuff where they can follow you back. Where can we get it? Where'd you go? Okay, well, I'm on Instagram and Conley Comedy. I'm competing in Atlanta's funniest person at Helium on June 30th. Okay. Nice. I think. June 30th. I am. I'm positive. Okay. Gotcha. All right. I am you can find me on Facebook, Richard Conley, C-O-N-L-E-Y. I am R Connley Comedy on Instagram. Um next week, June 5th and possibly 6th, I will be competing in the World Series of Comedy against 40 other comedians for a chance to make it to Las Vegas. Dude, that's awesome. That's nuts. And this is after two and a half years of comedy. Wow. That's pretty amazing. So, yeah. So all it was was a tape submission type deal. And I skipped the wild card round, went straight. I am the last comedian to go in in round two. Oh my goodness. Oh wow. And when I come back from there, four days later, I'd be competing in Atlanta's funniest person at Helium Comedy Club in Alpharetta. Mm-hmm. And all that information will be out on my socials. Which we're competing against each other just in the beautiful channel, even. So I'm telling you guys, if you're in the Atlanta area, you're around there, go check them out. 100%. It is worth I'm telling you, we went to the the show we went and saw some of the people I was like, it was difficult to watch. Yeah. Like it was just like, oh, that was painful. It was but dude, you guys killed it. Like it was so fun. It was. We laughed. Um, and so go see them, go check them out, support them. It is a really, really cool. They're they're fun. Yeah. And so make sure you you go like them, follow them so you can get all their info on their instas and their Facebook and all the fun stuff. So uh anything else to add before we wrap up tonight? This has been fun. Yeah. Thank you guys. Thank you guys for thanks for coming on. It's been easy. It was easy. Yeah, and it felt good. Yeah. I'm inspired now because I've been trying to get us to do this now, so we kind of got the concept around with. There you go. And thank you for our gift. I mean it. Oh, yes, we got these really cool. Nivia made us some koozies. Baggage claim koozies that are awesome. Thank you guys so much. That's awesome. I'm glad you love them. Yes. No, we did. But what were you going to say? I'm sorry. Um, this this was inspiring for the for the podcast that we've been talking about for three years. Yeah. Which is sick that it's been three years. But this this was really cool. Yeah, thank you guys. I'm glad. So so you guys

Support The Show And Take Audit

50:35

who are out there listening, thank you for uh checking us out. Thank you if you made it this far. You guys are awesome. Thank you so much. You can support us by just liking it. If you feel really, really good about it, leave us a review. Uh but we just share it. Yeah. Uh but and also too, what we'd love for you to do is go to unpacktogether.com. There's a place there where you can take an audit. It's free. It doesn't cost you anything. Just go take that, uh, kind of figure out where you are as a couple together. Um, it's just something we want to do for you guys to get just put out there. So go check that out. And uh check these guys out and make sure you go follow them on their socials and uh go catch a show because they're funny and it's worth the price. That's very uh don't miss it. So thank you guys for coming today, and uh, I think that's it. Anything else to add, Michael? No. All right. Well, have a good night, and we'll catch you guys later. Go dolls. Go dogs.